Greetings, wanderer of cyberspace. Are you a fan of Harry Potter, on either paper or celluloid? Did you go looking, in the Pit of Voles or elsewhere, for fanfiction, only to find to your despair that the fan community consists almost entirely of pubescent girls who want to get into Tom Felton's pants and wouldn't know good writing if they found it floating in their tea?
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Mary-Sue Sorting Hat Song
Oh, they may be very pretty But don't judge by what you see I'll eat myself if there are More annoying Sues than these!
You can keep your raven locks Your bodies sleek and tall For you girls are the Mary-Sues The worst OC's of all
There's nothing hidden in your heads No personality So don the Suewarts Sorting Hat To find out where you'll be
You might belong in Sparklypoo Where dwell the pure at heart Their perfect looks and perkiness Set Sparklypoos apart
You might belong in Bitchiwitch With losers and with freaks Those poor and angsty little things Are goths and brains and geeks
Or yet in skanky Tootsitramp You'll spend your nights and days If you like to show off cleavage And are wanton in your ways
Or perhaps in Qanonreip You'll make your real friends Those authors will Sue anyone To make their stories' ends
So cower low and close your eyes Be very, very scared It's time to sort the Mary-Sues So get your sporks prepared!