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The Potter Sue of the Day

Featuring your Mary-Sues, one fic at a time!

[sticky post]Rule of Thumb
Pancake!
pottersues

Since Pottersues is getting a lot of new minions I decided it was time to draw up the basic rules for this journal that have pretty much gone unsaid among the minions. I'll also note here that there have been four Pottersues so far since the journal was started.

Rules for Pottersues ReadersCollapse )

Tags:

4499: Life is beautiful - Harry Potter
Pancake!
pottersues
I am still needing to fix a few entries which came prior regarding links and such, but this may take a bit of time and I hope I don’t forget. I came across Queen of the Night again. The story is now called Queen of the Night: Years 1-3 and there is a second called Queen of the Night: Years 4-5. As for today’s entry…

I wish to forewarn it is rather bizzare.Collapse )

4498: Holding On and Letting Go - Isabella "Izzy" Weasley
Pancake!
pottersues
Title: Holding On and Letting Go
Perpetrator:
Captain-MJB
Sue-O-Meter: Awful
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is a picture of Hogwarts.
Summary:Isabella Weasley always thought she had it hard being the second eldest out of eight children, but she had no idea how hard her life would become. She remembered the first time she laid eyes on Sirius Black, it was 1981; she was ten years old. SIRIUS/OC
Full Name: Isabella “Izzy” Weasley
Species: She’s another Weasley. For once it’s not one around Ron and Ginny’s age.
Hair: She’s a Weasley, so the red hair is a give away.
Eyes: Her eyes are blue.
Markings: After seeing his cell she couldn’t sleep, so “she looked terrible, black bags under her ringed eyes, paler than usual.” Some of this may tie into visiting Azkaban, but also her busy schedule.
Possessions: She has precious items which belong to Sirius.
Stalker much?Collapse )

4497: Darling Dies At the End - Darling "Roach" Kuryakin
Pancake!
pottersues
Title: Darling Dies At the End
Perpetrator: AnnualDayne
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: It is a picture of the character from behind, or at least I think it is.
Summary: “Darling 'Roach' Kuryakin's tale began with a hogwarts acceptance letter in 1991, seven years later the tale would end.”
Full Name: Darling “Roach” Kuryakin
Species: She’s an Anti-Sue.
Hair: She had “short dark hair”. If the cover means anything her hair is brown.
Eyes: They’re not yet described.
Markings: There isn’t anything specific.Title: Darling Dies At the End
Perpetrator:
AnnualDayne
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
What a brat.Collapse )

Why test for autism when she has reading issues?Collapse )

4496: Partners - A Marauders What-If - Callie Potter
Pancake!
pottersues
Title: Partners - A Marauders What-If
Perpetrator: Syilline
Sue-O-Meter: Bad
Cover/Banner Art:
Summary: “What if Sirius Black is forced to join the Auror Office - taking it by storm? What if Voldemort never killed James and Lily? What if the First Wizarding War is ongoing, but the tides have turned? And what if James Potter has a little sister, six years his junior, who is just beginning her carrier? This is an exercise in "What-If."”
Full Name: Callie Potter
Species: James Potter
Hair: The writer is really good at describing other characters, but not their OC.
Eyes: See above.
Markings: Nothing specific.
Possessions: Nothing stood out.
Connection to Canon: The first chapter introduces us to Callie Potter and we get comparisons to the CIA. (Why not the British equivalent? Why is it the American spy agency they learned from?) She runs into Sirius Black. He is in charge of training her. Chapter two is training. Chapter three involves him visiting his family home and her hearing the portrait. She also gets a glimpse into Sirius’ past. Some character named Elizabeth dies and makes Callie more determined between the forth and fifth chapters. Voldemot is out and about in chapter six and she comes to face him. They talk about him coming back in the seventh chapter.
Origin: Apparently this is an exercise in “What-if”.
Special Abilities: This one was really, really close to getting a Good or Okay rating.

Notes: Is this an exercise in “What-If” as the writer claims? I didn’t feel the writer was really exploring the “What-ifs”, but that the “What-ifs” are there more as convenient plot devices. That said, a little work and this could very easily be a Good or Okay, yet this is also amazingly the writers first fanfic.

Sample:

Okay?Collapse )

4495: Fawkes - Phoenx/Fawkes
Pancake!
pottersues
Title: Fawkes
Perpetrator: middleofsomewhere
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: The writer’s avatar is of an old fashioned dial phone that is the color of pink one would expect at baby showers.
Summary: “Phoenix didn't want to do it. She didn't want to erase herself from her best friends' memories. She didn't want there to be only four marauders. She wanted things to be how they were before, when her only worry in the world was if she was going to pass History of Magic. This is the story of Phoenix, the Fifth Marauder.”
Full Name: Phoenix/Fawkes
Species: She’s a wizard.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: Nothing
Connection to Canon: She’s the fifth marauder. I’m also guessing she is Fawkes due to the title.
Origin: We’re supposed to believe the reason we don’t know about her is because she erased everyone’s memories.
Special Abilities: Her Animagus form is a Pheonix.

Notes: When will Suethor’s learn that Animagus forms are non-magical creatures.

Sample:

Why?Collapse )

4494: Secrets, Lies and Discovering Truths - Lydia Lewis
Pancake!
pottersues
Title: Secrets, Lies and Discovering Truths
Perpetrator:
Lyct Maxine
Sue-O-Meter: Awful
Cover/Banner Art: Their avatar is a bunch of words under the Hogwarts logo saying a bunch of places.
Summary:Set during the Golden Trio Era eventually featuring the main four characters in FBAWTFT. Lydia Lewis (at least that's who people believe she is) is a girl with a secret, a secret that she wants to keep no matter what. It's her first year at Hogwarts but when you have secrets, a father for a professor and an absent mother can life ever be simple? First in the Lydia Chronicles series
Full Name: Lydia Lewis
Species: She’s Remus Lupin’s daughter.
Hair: There is a point where she’s deciding whether to put her hair up or down (chapter four), but I got eighteen chapters in and never got a length or hair color.
Eyes: Her eyes are never described in the eighteen chapters I read.
Markings: There isn’t anything specific.
Possessions:  She gets a butterfly set comprised of bracelet, necklace and earrings that is made of sterling silver from Draco. It’s in an emerald green box. (Chapter nine.) Since I couldn’t get through all fifty chapters it should also be noted that
It's pretty bad when a parasite sue forgets the plot for the sake of being just a romance sue.Collapse )Lydia sighed, knowing she was going to have to so she picked up her bag and kissed her father's cheek before leaving. Looking longingly back at the compartment, Lydia felt a thud as she bumped into someone in front of her.

"Look where you're going," snapped a blonde-headed boy with pale skin and a foul look on his face. "You ought to show a Malfoy more respect." Lydia's eyes widened as she realised she'd made a massive mistake,

"I'm sorry, I…Malfoy? You're Draco Malfoy aren't you? I saw your mum on the platform. She's very pretty."
 

4493: Love's Keen Sting - Maddie Steffani Lewis
Pancake!
pottersues
I found myself with a bit of food poisoning. As I was looking for the entry for today I found the following gem. It is a Christmas gift the writer wrote for their friends for Christmas, but this is a wonderful example of gift fic.
Title: Love's Keen Sting
Perpetrator:
TohruROX2221
Sue-O-Meter: Awful
Cover/Banner Art: I think the writer’s avatar is a picture of the writer.
Summary:Oh, to be young and feel love's keen sting.” Cedric/OC. Rated T for language.
Full Name: Katie Alice/Mrs. Braiden Lewis, Maddie Steffani Lewis
Species: Today we have a Snitty Sue who because a Mother Sue in the first chapter.
Hair: At four or five she has “short blonde hair” that “was pulled back in a ponytail.”
Eyes: As a baby she had “almond shaped green eyes”.
Markings: There isn’t anything specific.
Possessions: Maddie has a butterfly T-shirt.
Why is this important to the plot?Collapse )

4492: Harrison Thornblake and The Boy Who Lived - Aaron Sirius Potter and Harrison Potter/Thornblake
Pancake!
pottersues
Title: Harrison Thornblake and The Boy Who Lived
Perpetrator:
ValentineKnight
Sue-O-Meter: Bad (Can easily go into the awful or toxic range, but likely won’t go into the okay or good range)
Cover/Banner Art: None. The writer isn’t very new.
Summary: “(I suck at summaries, so here I go)Imagine a world where Harry is three years older than his younger brother Aaron who is the Boy Who Lived, and is abandoned until he finds a family named Thornblake and goes to a different school for six years at Thornblake Academy of Enchantment and Magic. At his seventh year, he finds his family and competes with his brother for the Triwizard Cup”
Full Name: Harrison Potter/Thornblake and Aaron Sirius Potter
Species: Harry’s younger brother – at least he’s not a twin
Hair: n/a
Eyes: brown
Markings: None
Possessions: None
Connection to Canon: Pretty much the summary and the first chapter is simply Voldemort attacking the family.
Origin: We’ve got another Boy Who Lived stealing Harry’s thunder.
Special Abilities: Aaron is the Boy Who Lived instead of Harry.

Notes: Don’t you love when the writer does the write up on their own in their summary? Actually, I don’t because I’d like a bit of discovery, but this one is only one chapter so far and it jumped out. I suspect a young writer starting out, so you know the rules.

Sample:

Not very original unfortunatly.Collapse )

4491: Into Our Darkness - Aliana
Pancake!
pottersues
There is an entry either the writer and/or their defenders continue to wank. If you're having to say the writer "does a lot better of a job than someone that just rewrites a story scene for scene like a lot of people do" the story most likely isn't amazing like you think it is.

Title:
Into Our Darkness
Perpetrator:
Merakiart
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art:
Summary:We're not always given a choice. Life has a cruel way of reminding you of that. Both Aliana and Draco learned that early on. They learned that reality hardens you—it forces you to change in order to survive. That darkness is a constant threat that resides inside you. And it always fights for dominance. For control. When two lost souls find each other, what will happen to them?
Full Name: Aliana
Species: Super Sue!
Hair: The only thing I know as of the second chapter which is up is that her hair is singed.
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: Nothing. She burned everything she owned and is taken in by Hogwarts as an orphan.
Connection to Canon: The first chapter is supposed to be a prologue, but instead the reader gets an info dump about how they both misjudged each other, their lives aren’t fair but they’re attempting to fight to be together. (Is this actually a prologue? It didn’t feel like it.) I then get to the second chapter which is titled “Monster”. This chapter starts off with her killing people with these fire powers which spring from her hands. It turns out the person is her father and then she proceeds to kill her mother as well. Fudge passse her onto Dumbeldore because the headmaster offers. It ends with her upset she killed her parents and her memories of what happened being obliviated by Dumbledore.
Origin:
Special Abilities: This is a quote from Cornelius Fudge. “This little girl took out an entire block within a quarter-mile radius. It’s going to take weeks, maybe even months to repair the damage she’s caused.” Yes, she singes her hair and clothes, but still.

Notes:

Sample:

Oh woe is us.Collapse )