I have updated the Brief History of Not-Bob.

Sue #1! Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent it in!

TITLE: Snape's Daughter
PERPETRATOR: Trinity Cloud
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Storm Tempest Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "shoulder length black hair with white highlights"
EYES: "dark brown almost black eyes"
MARKINGS: cuts and scars from her mother's beatings.
POSSESSIONS: "silver rimmed glasses", plain black robes, the "infamous Snape smirk", "black hip-huggers, a red t-shirt, and a black jacket".

ORIGIN: America, her parents are divorced. She has an alcoholic mother named Sandra Snape. She gets to go to Hogwarts to escape from her mother's abuse.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry thinks she is beautiful. Hermione introduces herself to Storm right away. Is sorted into Slytherin. Draco introduces himself to her. After a few days she becomes "best friends" with Draco, and "good friends" with the Trio. She asks Oliver Wood to teach her to fly. They end up kissing, and making Draco jealous. After Pansy and Draco break up, Storm and Pansy get into a fight. Storm breaks her nose and bruises Pansy's windpipe. She is not disciplined and everyone seems impresses rather than horrified at the level of violence she displays. Finally after four years she goes on a "camping trip", where she and Draco realize their affection for one another. OOC-Daddy!Snape has a sweet, caring talk to her about her relationship with Draco. Then her mother sends a letter saying that she is going to bring her back to America. Storm is upset, and Draco professes that he will protect her.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is "feisty". She is excellent at Potions, to the point where she gets to tutor seventh years. Is a great "fighter", Ginny wants Storm to teach her how to fight.

NOTES: Snape would not be this ultra-sensitive, caring father. He could care, I believe, but he would be fighting his demons as well.

( Abuse is not a plot point. )

TITLE: Dancing With You In The Moonlight
PERPETRATOR: jeanwolverine52895
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Allyson Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "thick short black hair"
EYES: "bright blue eyes"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: A twin named Jasper. I wonder if he is called "Jazz". Something requiring headphones.

ORIGIN: "my father impregnated my mother almost a year before he died". Is it just me or is that extremely strange and awkward sounding.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: is going to be paired with Teddy Lupin. Forsees Fenrir Greyback breakout from Azkaban.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is a seer.

NOTES: I don't often feature 2nd generation Sues, but this one was asking for it.

( Way to go Marauders, your bullying has transcended generations. )

TITLE: Alaina Snape
PERPETRATOR: LizStorm
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Alaina Elizabeth Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "dark"
EYES: change on a whim
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: A supreme ego.

ORIGIN: Snape's daughter that he can't raise.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Goes to Durmstrang, but I'm sure it's going to change, and she will go to Hogwarts.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "proficient in martial arts, spells, hexes, curses, everything you can think of Muggle and Magical".

NOTES: The Suethor puts the character up for use, as long as it's credited. Why anyone would want to use this character, and why she is unique is beyond me. pottersues has been around for 6 years now, and will feature many more "Snape's Daughters Whose Name Starts With A" sues.


( There's a good reason why Snape hasn't raised you. Have you listened to yourself? Who would want to be around that? )

TITLE: The Daughter of the head Slytherin
PERPETRATOR: missb111
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Zoey Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a Hogwarts letter

ORIGIN: We are going to get to "follow" her and her friends through their time at Hogwarts.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is the "the duaghter of Severs Snape".
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Nothing.

NOTES: Something about Snape wearing jeans is just unsettling.

( Excuse me while I fall asleep. )

Link of the Day: Thanks to the anonymous minion who alerted me to the existance of this Harry Potter and Tetris crossover. "Why?" is all I have to ask.


Thanks to NightScribe for sending in our first Sue!

TITLE: Sapna Jessica Aishwaraya Potter Prewitt Malfoy
PERPETRATOR: Sirisha19
SUE-O-METER: (troll)

FULL NAME: Sapna Jessica Aishwaraya Potter Prewitt Malfoy
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: house maids and house elves.

ORIGIN: Dumbledore married an Indian Princess named Sapna Damini Prince. They had four children, Eileen Sapna Prince Dumbledore Snape Potter, Anthony Prashant Dumbledore, Deepti Whitney Dumbledore Mckinnon and Shaan Bastian Dumbledore. Sapna is, apparently, the daughter of Eileen Sapna Dumbledore Prince Snape and Charlus James Nikolai Aleksei Potter.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is Dumbledore's granddaughter, Snape's sister, and she is married to Lucius. Is Draco's mother, and the mother of his five other siblings. They are actually on the side of good, and are loyal to Dumbledore.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Has had three sets of fraternal twins.

NOTES: The best image ever created in my mind: "Just then the door to the dining room opened and Severus Snape walked in. He was wearing a glorious floor-length robe of black silk with green and silver threads woven in intricate patterns". HA HA HA!

( Warning! Typically bad sex-scene alert! )

Only three Sues to go and I'll be all caught up! Yay!

TITLE: The Diary of Dahlia Snape
PERPETRATOR: LilyRoseHarper
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Dahlia Black aka Dahlia Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: A diary that she writes to us in. She has twin sister named "Violet and Lily". They wear "inappropriate clothing" and are sorted into Gryffindor.

ORIGIN: For 15 years she lived under the alias of Dahlia Black because of her father's spying. She lived with her mother and sisters in America until it was safe to return to England.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Severus Snape's daughter. She "saw" Cedric Diggory's death, and "I don’t know why but I knew my future and the future of the wizarding world depended on me saving that boy, and if I can I need to stop Voldemort from rising." Why do we have Harry Potter then? Bait for Voldemort? She goes to the Quidditch World Cup with her sisters, and meets Harry, the Weasleys, and Cedric. Snape explains to her that she has a connection to Cedric because he is her soul mate. Like Snape would ever tell his 15-year-old daughter that. At Hogwarts she is sorted into Ravenclaw.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is a "true" seer. She can see "the truth into a person’s soul" and someone's past. She is the first one in 500 years. Using her inner eye, she can see a glowing cord joining her to Cedric because they are soul mates.

NOTES: "Snape" in this story is just a name, there bears to resemblance to the actual Snape.

This story does make me wonder though, who would be a more antagonizing father? Snape or Mad-Eye?

( It's like Cedric is this beautiful movie star or something... *hee hee hee* RPatzz. )

TITLE: Putting Salt on the Wound of Love
PERPETRATOR: GothGryffieRoxxy
BANNER: MS Paint?
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Roxanne "Roxxy" Sapphire Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: dark
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: an alarm clock

ORIGIN: She is related to Snape somehow.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She bickers with Flint and then they make out because he confesses his love to her. Then her BFF tells her that he raped someone, and scolds her for being attracted to him. Apparently someone gets pregnant and Ron is involved in some form. The summary is as clear as mud.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is the Gryffindor Boy Magnet.

NOTES: Really irritating OC alert!

( Snape had nothing to do with the naming of this thing )

TITLE: Snape's Spawn How pleasant sounding your title is.
PERPETRATOR: SnapesDuke
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Selena Snape
SPECIES: vampire
HAIR: black
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: Her hands are as "as soft as silk". "Her body was so perfectly made, her face so angelic." "Her lips were the softest thing ever." Clearly she is not Snape's biological daughter.
POSSESSIONS: "Japanese Cherry Blossom" perfume. She wears: "a red spaghetti strap tank top and short white shorts, with red kitten heels", "a tight slim red dress with black heels and black earrings", "tight jeans and a sparkly blue spaghetti strap shirt".

ORIGIN: She meets George Weasley in Diagon Alley, and tells him to stay away. She has a "deep secret" and a "dead heart". Obviously he doesn't not heed her "warning", and tries to court her.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Snape's daughter. George Weasley is infatuated with her. She kisses him in Diagon Alley, upon meeting him, "for pleasure". Snape tells her to stop doing that and then questions if he has a "hooker" for a daughter. She is good friends with Draco, and tells Geoge that they are lovers to make him jealous. Then she meets up with Draco and "practices" kissing with him. She affectionately calls him "whitey". I had to stop at chapter 5. I skipped ahead, and they end up loving each other, and all of that smushy stuff.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is "dangerous" (self-proclaimed). She is a vampire, but can go outside in the sun an all that jazz. She "feels" her vampirism "coming on" and Snape feeds her some potion.

NOTES: If Snape had a daughter, and if a Weasley Twin was attracted to that daughter it would be a prank just to mess with Snape. I'm picturing it in my mind: George at Spinners' End to pick up Wanetta Snape, who would be sour-faced and hideous. George would have daisies in his hand and stand at the doorway looking at Snape with a big grin on his face.

( My brain can not follow the dialog. Are they having two separate conversations? )

The results will be posted shortly! Make sure you get your last minute votes in!


TITLE: Secretly, My Daughter
PERPETRATOR: BreadQueen42
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Victoria Eileen Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: red
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: Books.

ORIGIN: Before leaving Hogwarts Lily Evans and Severus Snape share a drunken evening of passion. Months later she gives him the child she had to raise.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is the reason why Snape gives up being a Death Eater. Snape wants to to make friends on the Hogwarts Express, and not read books the whole time. She calls Dumbledore "Albus", and lived at Hogwarts when she was little. None of the students knew.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is arrogant and antisocial.

NOTES: Daddy!Snape is way to sweet and loving for my own good, and his. I don't understand why he wasn't mad at Lily, or told her to own up to James.

( Stop it with the yelling! Why does the OC always have to yell at someone in the first line of the story? )

I updated A Brief History of Not-Bob to include the troll we had back in June.

Thanks to the_sexorcist for sending in today's second Stu!


TITLE: Harry Potter the Son of the Half Vampire
PERPETRATOR: FireChildSlytherin5
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter aka Harry Snape
SPECIES: one-quarter vampire?
HAIR: "long, straight black hair that passed his shoulders"
EYES: "piercing green eyes that matched his mother's eyes perfectly"
MARKINGS: "a tall youth close to 6 feet in height", "smooth, unnatural pale skin, dark red lips".
POSSESSIONS: a "hot pink" lamp, a fancy room in the castle in the "Lands of the Necromancers".

ORIGIN: Lily Potter and her first husband, a mysterious half-vampire, ex Death Eater. I bet it's Snape. Lily lied to James Potter, her new husband, in telling him that Harry is his. She performs an ancient spell on Harry so he looks like James. On his fifteenth birthday, he receives a letter from Lily telling him the truth.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: James Potter is not his father, and is, in fact, his second cousin. Remus and Snape know the truth about Harry's parentage. Harry writes Remus a little letter, and upon receiving it Remus Floos to "Snape Castle, Romania". Snape reveals that he is Harry's uncle, and that his brother, Ajit, fathered Harry. When Snape and Remus go to get Harry from the Dursleys they discover that Voldemort is attacking 4 Privet Drive at the same moment. Petunia is kidnapped and we learn that Dudley is a wizard, as well. Remus brings them to the "Lands of the Necromancers", to save her. The plot is all over the place.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Great dueling skills. He is going to have another transformation, probably into his true vampire form.

NOTES: Harry's physical description makes him sound like Michael Jackson. Y/N?

( Was it necessary to have only one bed for the two of them? )

Today's first Sue! I'll post the poll results after I post the second Sue! Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent us this Sue!

TITLE: I Have A Daughter
PERPETRATOR: Nitamind
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described, Snape recognizes her because of her eyes.
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: the Sorting Hat on her head.

ORIGIN: Mrs. Granger has some explaining to do to Mr. Granger.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Snape's daughter. Is sorted into Gryffindor. They make some sort of emotional proclamation of paternity in front of the whole school.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Recognizes Snape has her father instantly.

NOTES: This has to be one of the shortest stories featured here, a whopping 94 words in total.

( What is this fuckery? )

TITLE: The Sly Slytherin, Who Fell In Love With A Bird
PERPETRATOR: Fantasy Fire
SUE-O-METER: (toxic) It should be rated OMGWTFBBQ!

FULL NAME: Amortentia Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "long, black"
EYES: "violet. A ddep and royal purple".
MARKINGS: "Porcealin skin, almost marble lookinf. As if she were simply a living statue." She has a "tired look".
POSSESSIONS: A television and a nightgown.

ORIGIN: Voldemort almost catches Harry in Diagon Alley when he is distracted by Snape's beautiful teenage daughter.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She falls in love with Voldemort, "but will it last"? Snape isn't too pleased.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can see through Disillusionment Charms. She was tortured, but mysteriously killed the boy who did it. She doesn't remember doing so.

NOTES: This is amazingly creepy, and strange. Here is Voldemort's train of thought when he first sees her: "I'm standing here in Diagon Alley, invisible with a Disillusioment Charm. No one knows I'm here except Bellatrix and Lucius who are on either side of me. I see Potter and the blood under my skin boils. How I wish to get rid of him here right now. If only life were that easy. Potters out of sight now, but I do see Snape, coming out of the Apoctheary. He is unaware of my presence. Normally I let him know if I'm taking an excrusion into Diagon Alley, but this time I did not. I do so, simply to see if he acts diffrently when he thinks my eyes are not on him. So far he's doing the same but who is that with him? A young girl? Who is that? She has long, black hair, an a tired look about her, possibly fifteen or fourteen years old, Porcealin skin, almost marble lookinf. As if she were simply a living statue. What catches my attention is her eyes. There violet. A ddep and royal purple. They are... Captivating, for lack of a better word. Lucius and Bellatrix seem to notice Snape and the girl as well." How is this normal and not creepy?

Also, it is not a troll, that's why I didn't rate it "troll". Just felt like saying that now, before all of the "troll" comments start coming in. Yes, something can be complete crap without being a troll.

( Quick! Someone call Dateline! )

TITLE: In the mind of a Prankster
PERPETRATOR: KitKatCo.
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Aidan Ross
SPECIES: A pureblood witch
HAIR: "sporting beautiful dark brown hair"
EYES: "bright blue eyes"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: An iPod, an outfit that isn't the school robes.

ORIGIN: She was being driven to "Aunt Molly's" when Death Eaters attack, killing her mother. Now she gets to be in the care of Uncle Snape. He sends her to America until she is sixteen. He lets her go to Hogwarts for sixth year.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape is her uncle. Arthur Weasley drives/flies her to Hogwarts. She is almost unsortable, but is eventually sorted into Gryffindor. Everyone at Hogwarts stares at her. They probably haven't seen a Mary-Sue before. She befriends Fred and George, and she will be paired with George.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can make Snape squee. She can outprank the Weasley twins.

NOTES: Except for the half-dementor Sue, I think every Sue paired with a Weasley twin is a giant prankster. I don't really see the Weasley twins turning into the Marauders, so their inclusion of a new person doesn't really fit.

( Bitch, please! )

Sue #2! I'm all caught up! Yay!

Link of the Day: If I wanted to listen to a bunch of women whine about their lives, I would have turned on SaTC


TITLE: Being A Snape
PERPETRATOR: scarlett-emo-katt
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Scarlett Mae Granger Edit: Scarlett Anna Mae Granger, the Suethor added a new middle name after I posted.
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "long black silky hair"
EYES: "dark brown eyes"
MARKINGS: "small freckles all over my face". "I just like to where most black things, like make-up, such as mascara, eye liner, and eyeshadow. That's the only type of make-up I wear."
POSSESSIONS: "I mostly wear black t-shirts, and black jeans. But during the summer, I love to wear black shorts."

ORIGIN: In fifth year she finds out that her father is alive.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is Hermione and Snape's daughter. She calls Ron, Harry, Ginny and Luna her aunts and uncles. She is in a Top Secret relationship with Scorpius Malfoy.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She has a bad temper. "I love to roll my eyes, smirk or laugh when someone gets hurt, blow people off, make the snarky remarks". She loves to read.

NOTES: When you start a fic with "I hate my life sometimes" and I know it's about some canon-character spawn, I deduct 100 points. If, two sentences later you tell me that you have a bad temper, and tell me that's it got even worse thanks to your period, I deduct another 200 points. 3 sentences in, and already at -300 points. That has to be a record.

( No, you're not gothic. You are a whiny, emo-brat. )

Thank you to the anonymous minion who sent in today's Sue.

TITLE: Snape's Daughter
PERPETRATOR: Queen Of the Damned3
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Piper
SPECIES: part-vampire?
HAIR: "Long black hair, just like Severus"
EYES: "hazel eyes, those are mine". You gave your eyes to your daughter?
MARKINGS: none described.
POSSESSIONS: A cat named Lily-Bell.

ORIGIN: She is the product of a romance between Snape and a lady named Elisha.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Gets to attend Hogwarts at the age of 9. All of the important professors greet her. Snape is amazing that he has a daughter.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Her mother is a vampire, so she is part-vampire, I assume.

NOTES: Another Sue that is long dead. May it rest in peace.

( She looks like Snape? What a curse. )

Edit: While tagging entries, I found the sporking featuring the term "Man-Veela". I remember some of you were looking for it. Did you want me to make a tag for it?

Edit #2: Sues 701-800 have been tagged.

TITLE: Layla's Story
PERPETRATOR: Tries-too-hard
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Layla Snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: wavy
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: "a cd a muggle friend made for me consisting of Green Day, Blake Lewis, and Say Anything", an iPod, a "Sarah Dessen book", Sue-friends named Gretchin and Remy, clothes from Hot Topic.

ORIGIN: Severus Snape and some woman named Jordan. "My mom and him had me when they weren’t married. I still don’t understand why my mom didn’t get an abortion, she has always told me that she believed in a women’s right to vote." Honey, I think the word you are looking for is "choose".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is Snape's daughter. The staff at Hogwarts call her "Assistant to the Keeper of Keys" because she is friends with Hagrid. Blaise is one of her good friends. One time Draco was drunk and tried to feel up her skirt. She is friends with everyone, except Harry. Harry hates her because she is Snape's daughter. Hermione is her friend, though. She doesn't attend Hogwarts, but hangs out there on her days off from her school. She invites Hermione to go with her to a My Chemical Romance Concert. She put a radio in Hagrid's hut and listens to Regina Spektor on it. Dumbledore is like a grandfather to her.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can tell when her dad is hurt or upset just by looking at him. You know, most people can do that, too. She discovered a spell to put on her iPod to make it work at Hogwarts. She makes bread and cookies for Hagrid when his don't turn out right.

NOTES: I was trying to decide if this was a troll or not. I don't think it is because the Suethor has another story (SS/HG) that appears to be an honest effort.

( Who the hell is Ross? )

Thanks to elethian for sending in today's Stu!

TITLE: White Mage
PERPETRATOR: Hatake Sakumo
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter aka Lord Harry James Gaunt Potter Slytherin aka Alexander Octivious Salazar Gaunt
SPECIES: White Mage
HAIR: "His hair was now paper white and reached halfway down his back"
EYES: "his eyes had gone from green to silver"
MARKINGS: "First he had aged, now he looked to be twenty-four and looked quite imposing. He was at least 6 foot 2. [...] His skin looked softer and was paler then before, more like a Malfoy’s. His fingernails also looked like they had been manicured. He still looked like he was related to Lily Potter but he no longer looked anything like James."
POSSESSIONS: Slytherin's secret library. A "wooden box with a silver snake on the lid" with "a Slytherin green robe, some money, directions to Salazar’s many homes, and his vault number" inside.

ORIGIN: Harry gets a letter one day telling him that he is related to Slytherin, and that everything he has learned is a lie. Slytherin knows all of this because he was a Seer. He also tells him that when Harry turns 17, he is going to turn into a powerful Mage.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is the last heir of Slytherin, not Voldemort. Dumbledore manipulates Harry, and Snape is on Harry's side. After Harry turns into a White Mage, he graduates and asks Dumbledore if he can be the new DADA professor. Then he finds out that he and Snape are distant cousins and he is also related to Rowena Ravenclaw. Harry and Snape might be paired together.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Seer. Can speak Parseltongue. He is going to be "more powerful then the Mage, Merlin, himself". What is a White Mage? Well, one of Harry's books tells him:
White Mages are extremely rare. They are more powerful wizards and are pure of heart. Meaning that they have committed no crimes or sins. It is not an inherited thing. It only happens to certain people on their seventeenth birthday. Most tend to under go some personality changes.

You can usually tell if a person is a White Mage if they have silky white hair, grey, silver, or white eye colouring, and pale skin. They look to be permanently stuck at the age of twenty-four, never aging. White or ‘Light’ Mages also tend to radiate power without being aware that they are doing it. If they fit that description ask them a question, if they lie, they aren’t a White Mage, seeing as a White Mage cannot tell lies.

It is unknown if White Mages are immortal, but we do know that they can break all the laws concerning magic. They do not need to do hand movements when doing a spell nor do they need a wand or speak the words. They can just wish it and it will be done. These Mages are said to be telepathic. It also seems that they can go backwards or forwards in time, go into alternate universes, and even see the past and future of someone, a place, or of an object in up most clarity. Most usually end up telling people of their futures for thousands of years.

There have only been ten White Mages recorded to ever exist. The most recent person to inherit the title of White Mage is Harry “Potter” or otherwise Gaunt.

NOTES: "AN: Do you want this to be a slash story or a male/female relationship? Even though there cousins I could do a Snarry if you wanted me too. Some of you are probably gagging at the very thought of that hahaha. The relationship between Harry and whomever you want (except for Ginny) will not play a large role (unless maybe if it's Snape)." Why don't you have a plan?

( Why don't you just make an OC? )

Here is the second Sue of the day, two down, one more to go.

TITLE: Wholly Pureblood, Completely Monster
PERPETRATOR: CassieXanthe
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Antoinette "Andy" Snape
SPECIES: Snape's Daughter
HAIR: "black hair, long and straight"
EYES: dark
MARKINGS: Her skin is pale. Open cuts in her wrists, where a bony skeletal hand grows out to cover her existing hand. The cuffs blocks this. Huge white wings. Vampire canines.
POSSESSIONS: A "leather glove covered her arm past the elbow, but the fingers were bare". A black cloak. A "silver ring adorned her left hand. Prison type cuffs were fastened around both her wrists, managing to look elegant. She was wearing a black tank top made of leather and low-slung black hot pants. Around her wait was a thick leather belt with metal studs, and loops for harnesses either side. In the loops on the right side, there hung a metal dagger in its scabbard, and a pouch that looked as if it was full of money. On the left hung her wand, and a twin of the throwing dagger. Also there, was a fighting whip, long and coiled up neatly. Her legs were bare, and Andy wore leather boots, done up with a number of silver buckles at the side." Her clothes are charmed not be removed, and that is why she can not wear a uniform. the top and shorts are chain-mail, made magically lighter, and "the gloves and boots are stuffed with powdered lead for protection".

ORIGIN: She arrives at Hogwarts the day before the start of term. She is allowed to enter seventh year, despite ever attending Hogwarts before. She is American, but has undergone experiments in Russia that have resulted in extreme powers. Her mother was with a two-year-old Antoinette in Persia, when they were approached to take part in the experiments. Her mother allowed it.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is Snape's daughter. The Sorting Hat freaks out when it is placed on her head, saying: "How am I supposed to sort this girl? Do you know what she is?! How can I sort someone if I have nothing to go on?!" OMG! Does this mean she doesn't have a brain? Sadly, no. The Hat sorts her into Slytherin because that is where her family has been sorted. She meets Draco at the Slytherin table, and they introduce themselves to each other. Everyone is impressed, except Pansy. You know, sometimes Pansy has good sense. She threatens Neville for no reason, with her mind. He drops to the floor wheezing. Malfoy thinks she is beautiful, and she thinks he is "the best looking boy at school".
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can start a fire in her hand with a click of her fingers. She has AtTiTuDe! She can enter the Slytherin common room without a password. She tells Blaise that she is psychic and can do lots of wandless magic, and that she is amazing. She can read at an amazing speed. Yes, I tried a similar feat while reading this story. She can turn partially into animals, and partially into half-human creatures. She has violent mood swings. She is talented in all her subjects.

NOTES: The Slytherin common room has "Armani" armchairs, supplied by Lucius Malfoy. This makes me giggle.

( The poor Sorting Hat, it never gets a break. )

I want to remind everyone of the existence of Pottersues @ GreatestJournal in the event of a surprise deletion from LiveJournal. You are more then welcome to comment in the entries as I copy them over to the back-up archive. I received a few comments yesterday, which was fun. :)

Thanks hypercaz for sending in today's Sue!

TITLE: End of the Road
PERPETRATOR: Shadow of a Shadow
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Artemus Xaviar Snape
SPECIES: Wizard
HAIR: "thick, midnight hair hung down to the middle of his back", it falls into his eyes and face. Sometimes it's in a ponytail.
EYES: inky black
MARKINGS: He is a "lethal 7 feet, with muscles honed by years in the nearest dojo he could find". Well minions, I think this is the tallest Sue/Stu we have ever had. He has a "light brown" face. he has a tattoo on the inside of his right wrist. His skin glitters when he sweats.
POSSESSIONS: "a close fitting black shirt with matching jeans and boots", a black hoodie, jean "shorts" and a red t-shirt, black and green dress robes. A bedroom at Hogwarts that is blue with hints of emerald and gray. Snape decorated the room. Artemus has black silk bedding.

ORIGIN: A Marriage Law! Every student going into seventh year must be married by September 1. Apparently "Dumbledore and Voldemort plan to use this to its full extent". The Suethor warns us of "mpreg and Dumbledore bashing". Artemus has been living in "the Americas" with his mother and step-father. He was kidnapped and raped when he was younger. He was forced to rape his kidnapper's mute daughter, Rhapsody, which got the girl pregnant. Their daughter is named Aranandirl Eelier. He now gets to live with his father, Professor Snape.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Artemus is Snape's son, and Molly's grandson. Snape wants him to marry Draco because "any child of Draco’s will be strong. Even stronger if Draco himself carries it". If Artemus doesn't marry Draco, "Luscious" will make sure that Draco goes off any marries some random person just to insure that Draco will get pregnant. Snape, Artemus and Uncle Tom aka Voldemort are doing this for Draco's protection. Snape petitions to marry Harry, making Harry Artemus' step-father. He calls Harry "Pai", according to the Suethor, it is Portuguese for father. He gives Harry tips on how to seduce Snape. Is in "Slitherin". He wants his parents to go and have sex so he can have a sibling.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Martial arts skills. He is very caring and understanding.

NOTES: Every woman in this story is described as a "she-devil", stupid, vapid and fake. The only exceptions are Narcissa and Pansy. Even Hermione is a bit strange, they had her marry Fred and George. There is a bit of pepper-jack when it is announced that Artemus enjoys Gatorade.

Edit: A lot of people are asking, so I just want to clarify this issue: It is not a contest entry. The story was posted on July 4, 2007. I announced the contest on July 31, 2007. Furthermore, as stated in the rules, the stories must be originally published between September 1, 2007 and December 31, 2007. Plus, I have to be notified of the link to the entry, meaning I wouldn't spork an entry I already knew about. If you want to look over the contest announcement it is here.

( Siri and Remy are my least favorite nicknames for Sirius and Remus. )

Four days left to get your First Harry Potter Mary-Sue Story in! There are lots of submissions, but I know there are more! Please send them in! Remember, they must be e-mailed to me!

TITLE: Harry Potter and Voldemort's Daughter I see this Suethor missed the Creative Train.
PERPETRATOR: Crystel S. Riddle
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Crystel Sammy Riddle. Woah! That looks familiar!
SPECIES: Voldemort's Daughter
HAIR: "long, brownish black"
EYES: brown
MARKINGS: A birth mark: "Skull and snack on her right arm (dark mark)". She is 5'8" and 125 lbs.
POSSESSIONS: A magic staff instead of a wand. It has a jewel on top of it.

ORIGIN: Her mother is "Sammy L. Snape" and her father is Voldemort. She is an orphan because her mother is dead and her father adandoned her. I don't think he abandoned her, I think the Avada Kedavra he used to try and kill a baby backfired back on him. I think that's a big difference. This story takes place in 2006, and Crystel is twenty-one.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Voldemort's daughter. She was born at the "The Lucky Caldron, Room 6, Diagon Ally". Her Godparents are Lily and James, making Harry her "Godbrother". This makes her related to Voldemort, Snape, and, according to the Suethor, Harry. She is in Gryffindor. Her mother leaves Crystel at Beauxbatons as a baby. Voldemort kills the mother of his child as he looks for his daughter; it is reported in the "Dailey Profit". She gets to go to Hogwarts to meet her Godbrother. She introduces herself as Crystel Riddle to Draco and "Louses" Malfoy, not knowing who they are. Draco escorts her to the train, and she tells him that she isn't a first-year, and that she has been learning magic at "Balbatone". Also, she tells him that she was at the Tri-wizard Tournament with her school. She goes to sit with Harry on the train, where both he and Hermione know who she is. Ron, as always, is clueless. She tells Ron her last name, and he handles it in typical fanfiction!Ron fashion. At Hogwarts "Lady McGonagall" sorts her. The sorting hat tells her "I have not seen a mind like this since the young Potter." This makes me laugh, it's not like Harry was sorted decades ago. Then Dumbledore has a chat with her after the feast. At this time he tells her that she is Voldemort's daughter. Crystel is distraught. On her way back to the Common Room, Draco pins her against a wall and yells at her for not telling him who her father was. Then she uses her magic powers to beat him up. Then both she and Harry have prophetic dreams. Draco starts calling her "Miss Voldemort" and tells her that he snitched on her to her father. Draco kidnaps her and keeps her in a dungeon at Hogwarts. He feeds her candy. She bites him in return. Harry tries to use the Marauders Map to find Crystel, but her name does not appear.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: During her sorting, the Hat gets to say everything out loud. When she loses her temper "her brown eyes turned black and a dark aroma surrounded her." She also speaks in a "dark voice". She uses the "Impervious" spell to dye her hair. Wandless magic.

NOTES: She explains that she has typos because she has a six-year-old laptop with no "spell chack". This is not an excuse, get a beta and if you don't want to do that spell check your story in your email. Furthermore, checking the proper names of the people, places and things in the book shouldn't be that hard! Use the book or the Lexicon.

( If Yahoo! Mail made 'Text Blocks of Doom', this would be it. )