Potter Sue of the Day
27 October 2009 @ 03:05 pm
Thanks to [info]falafelli for this Sue!

TITLE: Allyson's Journey
PERPETRATOR: hello.i'm.mia.black
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Allyson Persephone Mandell
SPECIES: Witch/Vampire
HAIR: not described
EYES: light blue. They do not change, despite being a Stephanie Meyer vampire.
MARKINGS:
POSSESSIONS: iPod, a friend named Chloe who helps her learn magic.

ORIGIN: Wisconsin. She is Rowena Ravenclaw's heir, and is brought back in time from 2010 to 1975 to help the wizarding world as the result of a prophecy. She is trained magically within the month. She is turned into a vampire just before the start of the school year. The process is a "borrowing" of the Twilight vampires, only better.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is sorted into Ravenclaw and meets and befriends everyone important within the first 10 minutes. She is going to be paired with Sirius Black.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can learn tons of magic in one month. She is now a vampire that sparkles in the sun, is immortal, has excellent strength and agility, more control than most newborns and can get pregnant.

NOTES: Do you remember a time when vampire Sues were not inspired by Twilight? I miss them.

Her hunting in the Forbidden Forest would make the centaurs so pissed off. )
 
 
Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: The heater on at work.
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
25 October 2009 @ 05:58 pm
TITLE: They Love Me...Too Much
PERPETRATOR:
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Artemis Rane
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: blonde
EYES: green/hazel
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: loves cinnamon french toast. She has "the triplet of Voldemort and Harry Potter's wand", it is "holly and phoenix feathered" which means it is just like Harry's. She has a tiny, grey kitten, and a Nimbus 2001.

ORIGIN: She is from the United States. She is told that she is a witch at the age of 14. Her grandmother, Suzan, was the "most powerful witch in the world. She had invincible powers that Dumbledore and Voldemort couldn't possibly match." Grandma "decided" that Artemis would be the one who would kill Voldemort. Too bad they didn't let the Potters know, maybe they didn't have to die. Grandma gave Artemis all of her powers, and then died shortly after. Her parents got her a wand when she was a baby, and then put a memory charm on her. They took the charm off of her, and send her off to Hogwarts! Yipee!
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is "famous" in the wizarding world. Draco barges into her compartment to meet her and insult her. She thinks Harry is attractive. She also thinks that Draco "might be nice". She is sorted into Gryffindor, despite the hat wanting to put her in Slytherin. She wants to be where the "good guys are". She feels like she has a hard time fitting in, but everyone likes her and she is doing well at school. Harry is going to teach her how to play Quidditch, and she learns that Draco thinks she is pretty, delicate and nice. She is going to have to pick one of them.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "extraordinary powers" at birth thanks to her Grandmother. She could make it rain on a sunny day.

NOTES: "And if you're just reading the story for a laugh, well...IT'S NOT A LAUGHING MATTER. IT'S A VERY DEEP AND EMOTIONAL STORY." The CAPS LOCK made me laugh, as well as the story.

Who are your parents? Why can they  )
 
 
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Blame it on the rain
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
22 October 2009 @ 01:59 pm
Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Sirius Twin
PERPETRATOR: aireagle92
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Lyra Lycoris Black
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: "long curly dark brown hair"
EYES: "greenish, brownish, and gray eyes"
MARKINGS: "I was born on tall side"
POSSESSIONS: "a book of new paper and draw or sketch", "My room was black and green my bed was a single with gray sheets and a black covered", "a black skirt and pulled it on follow by a gray blouse and a pair of black flats", "a pair of jeans a baggy black t-shirt with blue all stars", a wand: "Ash and unicorn hair, sixteen inches", a snowy owl named "Ainbthech". It means "storm" in Gaelic, and the Suethor uses the exact same owl and name in another Harry Potter OC story she has written.

ORIGIN: Sirius' twin sister.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: They get along, and he would sneak her muggle items at home. She seems to get along with Regulus, as well. There is no mention or hinting at about who she might be paired with.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "I grew up I became more in love with drawing and scketing."

NOTES: I don't believe she is an English Language Learner, but I could be wrong.

I'm thankful she doesn't have a wand made of the tree of life with an angel wing core. )
 
 
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Empire State of Mind - Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
18 October 2009 @ 10:03 pm
Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: The Curse~~A Draco Malfoy Romance
PERPETRATOR: TamurilArnatuile
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Nani Aliikai
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a flower to show that she has a boyfriend if it's on her left side, and to show that she is single if it's on her right. Then a letter from the boyfriend saying that he's found someone else

ORIGIN: "Nani Aliikai has just moved from Hawaii. She'll be in her 5th year at Hogwarts. Meanwhile, Draco has been testing out the Malfoy Curse. (Sorry if it sounds like someone else's story. I spring boarded off someone. My version of the Malfoy Curse is a Malfoy can get any woman to do whatever he wants, but his one true love will be immune to his charm. And I guess you can figure where this is going.) "
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Draco thinks she could be more than his "groupie". She is sorted into Gryffindor. She is immediately friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione. Hermione wants her to teach her some hula moves. Draco keeps trying to ask her out and she rejects him each time. Then he starts acting nice to her, and she gets dumped by her boyfriend. Then she think's Draco's not such a bad guy after all.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: " to surf, scuba-dive, and...oh yea, hula dance".

NOTES: How is this not a rebound?

You are not Draco Malfoy )
 
 
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Little Big Planet
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
10 October 2009 @ 10:59 pm
TITLE: Oh, boy!
PERPETRATOR: Wildflower
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Kana Fujiko aka Daisuke Hayate
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "shoulder-length black hair was now cropped and slightly ruffled"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: "You could still see me, as Kana, but my once delicate girly features are now, stronger more defined and boyish. My shoulders had broadened and my muscles grew."
POSSESSIONS: a "School Memories" photo album with "photos and Origami decorated the pages". Mmmm, pepper-jack cheese tastes so good. A Sue-friend named Beth.

ORIGIN: She is Japanese, so the story is littered with Japanese references. After drinking what she thinks is Felix Felicis, she is turned into a boy. Now that she's a boy Sirius Black is "giving her the eye". She likes this.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Wants to bone Sirius Black. Is a grandmother figure to Rose Weasley. She calls her "Obaasan". She was in Hufflepuff, and is a chaser on the Hufflepuff quidditch team.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Tries hard not to be a Sue: "I'm a little lazy, stubborn, sarcastic, unsmart, a little clumsy and I guess now, annoying".

NOTES: I don't find the writing bad or cheesy, just the idea.

You have a magic stick! )
 
 
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Bones
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
09 October 2009 @ 03:06 pm
TITLE: Who knows..?
PERPETRATOR: Mrs_J_Potter
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Stephanie Leung
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "medium-length black sleek hair, with crimson streaks all through"
EYES: "dark brown eyes"/"chocolate brown eyes"
MARKINGS: "Two ear piercings on each ear", "I’m tanned as I travel a lot to Australia and I’m always around my friends." Being around your friends makes you tanned?
POSSESSIONS: Sue-friends Sanice Embleton, Bella Jones, Cassandra Thompson. Brand-name crap: "Sanice accidentally turned our normal brown suitcases into Louis Vouitton ones. (And also accidentally turned our 1997 Honda Civic into a Lexus.)". She buys a "Firebolt 2000". She has an iPod that plays Stiff Dylans' "Ultraviolet". Her room looks "exactly like the one back home. My wardrobe with all my clothes for the four seasons neatly folded inside, every wall which is supposed to be showing a royal purple colour is covered in posters of Twilight, Gossip Girl, Jonas Brothers and many other Disney stars etc. There’s a piano in the corner with a CD player next to it also my study table with photos of my family and friends and then my bed." Her bathroom is "enormous, clean, white bathroom that had a beautiful deep and long bathtub, and a nice shower with these little fishies on the tiles, two basins, two mirrors and two toilets, and did I mention there was a Jacuzzi in here?" *face smash and rub against keyboard*

ORIGIN: They know about Hogwarts as a series of novels, like everyone else. Then she and her friends get their letters to Hogwarts and magical abilities late. Dumbledore makes an exception for them "because apparently we’re "in touch" with our magical abilities and we have different kinds of magic".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Her friend has a vision that she is going to be co-Head Girl with Hermione, and Draco is going to be Head Boy. The three of them are going to live in a dorm together. Nice. She meets Draco is Diagon Alley, where she gets into an argument with him about his character while trying to purchase a new broom. At Hogwarts, Dumbledore explains to them that they are actually all descendants of Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw, and there has been a prophesy made about them. The four girls are going to "save us all". They are all sorted into Slytherin, except for Bella who is sorted into Gryffindor to be paired with Harry Potter.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "rebellious". Plays the piano with her friends in their band called "On the Brinc".

NOTES: Remember how I said that the last Sue had a lot of pepper-jack cheese in it? This one is worse. Like I feel like I have to pay extra for it.

Why do you have to write down your magical abilities? Are your memories that bad? )
 
 
Current Mood: predatory
Current Music: Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
08 October 2009 @ 11:23 pm
TITLE: goddesses of the moon (harry potter story)
PERPETRATOR: somebodys15angel
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Serena McGonagall.
SPECIES: Goddess/Daughters of the moon.
HAIR: "short la-yered brown hair with blond streaks straight"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: a scar from where her abusive father hit her on the chin.
POSSESSIONS: "a red halter top and jean shorts". A sue-friend named Jimena a, who has a tattoo below her belly-button. A moon goddess amulet that emits energy whenever a "follower" (bad guy) is near.

ORIGIN: McGonagall's granddaughter. She comes from the States to help find Hermione and Kina the other moon goddesses. They were sent to protect the earth and have some bad guys called "Atrox" chasing after them.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Has some sort of grand mission regarding protecting the earth and fleeing danger. But really she is paired with Oliver Wood mostly. But it turns out that Oliver is actually the bad guy and this Stanton person is not-so-bad?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can read minds. Knows kung-fu.

NOTES: Glitter should never be used in this quantity: "She pulls a red satin halter out of her closet and a red skirt with gold pleads in it and she changes. She rubs gold and red glitter all over her arms and legs and chest and she puts some around her hair line and she puts gold eye shadow on and paints flames down her arms and legs and she puts gems a crossed her hair line and one on each corner of her eyes. She turns to see Kina in the doorway in a pink dress that ends just above her knees that has a bunch of layers on the bottom that comes to points in different shades of pink and purple she has pink and purple glitter all over her legs arms neck and a glitter star on her cheek and she painted vines down her arms and legs. They put their shoes on and walk out to see Hermione in a light blue satin tank top and skirt with darker blue on the bottom and a dark blue scarf tied around her neck with blue glitter all over her and some through her hair. She has blue and silver flames up her legs."

I love how Oliver defines the Sue in his dialogue. )
 
 
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: "Fighting evil by moonlight...."
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
04 October 2009 @ 06:18 pm
Thanks to Abbydsnail for this Sue!

TITLE: Forced Life
PERPETRATOR: ShiroTears-and-KuroiRoses
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Sammy "Shiro"
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a screech owl named "Ash", "a pair of jeans and an oversized black T-shirt".

ORIGIN: Raises her younger brother, is the breadwinner in her family because her father is an alcoholic.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She tells the Marauders that she can't be in the group anymore, and then is saddened when she doesn't receive letters begging her to stay. But then they all show up at her door. She is going to be paired with Sirius.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: an animagus: "a great white wolf".

NOTES: This is pure wish-fullfilment.

l. )
 
 
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Smallville
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
10 September 2009 @ 10:24 pm
Remember how we told that Suethor not to write and post if you have three broken fingers? Well, I have to eat my hat. I shouldn't post an entry with a migraine without running spell check first. Mmmmm, hat is tasty.

TITLE: Don't Call Me Malfoy! A Harry Potter Story
PERPETRATOR: xTai92x
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: London Tyla Black-Malfoy
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "the Malfoy platenum blonde hair", but she changes it to black most of the time.
EYES: "the ice cold eyes. But, I hate it to say the least. I came up with this spell, it changes my hair and/or eyes to represent the color of my emotions."
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: Two BFFs: "Cameron Wood" and "Hoshi Dragon Black", a snowy owl named Prince, "a pair of semi-loose light blue jeans and a black tanktop, and well my underwear too, of course", a wand and a "twin-blade katana".

ORIGIN: Draco's twin sister doesn't like being a Malfoy. Also what do you need sword.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Draco's younger twin sister. Is in Gryffindor.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: The black sheep of the Malfoy family. Performs wandless magic that can be destructive if created in anger. Creates glamour spells to change her appearance through her emotions. Muggle girls do that too, they call it hair dye and contacts.

NOTES: Surprisingly this was not on Quizilla. What do you need swords for if you have a wand, and can perform wandless magic? Isn't it a useless prop?

Do you give your emotion guide to all of your friends and family? )
 
 
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: News
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
05 September 2009 @ 08:42 pm
Happy third anniversary to me! *confetti*

TITLE: {\\.I'LL DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU.//{DRACO MALFOY} Why are you shouting at me?
PERPETRATOR: CrashedSunshine
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Allessandra "Allie" Zippora Hunting aka You
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "Blond (Though you often put random colours in it)"
EYES: Purple
MARKINGS:
POSSESSIONS: "plain black DKNY short shorts and a grey loose Zac Posen tee", an iPhone, "Flight of The Conchords" DVD, some ugly dress,

ORIGIN: "You were born in London but you were raised in New Zealand, and you call it home. You father, Dane Devereaux,was a talented rugby player who played for the All Blacks but an injury to his knee forced him to retire, he is now an actor in Hollywood of Brad Pitt status. Famous for his good looks and kiwi charm. Your mother was born into wealthy household of the Huntington's, a Slytherin, she was a top student at Hogwarts. She was disappointed when you didn't make it into slytherin. Your motherGwen Huntington-Devereaux is also an actress/model. She met your father when they met on a movie set. Soon after they became Hollywood's golden couple, got married, had you and like all hollywood marriages they got divorced when you were 12. You were raised and schooled in New Zealand cause your parents didn't want you have the media spotlight on you. You moved back to England when you were 11 to attend Hogwarts. You lived with your fathers house but he was hardly ever there as he was always working."
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: In Gryffindor. Is friends with Harry, Ron, Hermione, "The Weasleys, and most of Hogwarts". You flirt with Blaise, but you guys are just joking around. You will be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "In your spare time you play guitar and piano, write songs and take pictures. You also like to surf and so extreme sports such as ski diving. You can speak fluent Maori and French, and you know a little bit of Italian." Wangst.

NOTES: The only thing true about this story is that I am blond and I have an iPhone. I would never be caught wearing that set of curtains from the early 90s that are posing as a "dress". I have taste.

Thanks Gossip Girls! )
 
 
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Boyfriends' techno
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
04 September 2009 @ 02:32 pm
Thanks to the anonymous who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Scarlett Flannigan: Ginger, Witch, Ravenclaw
PERPETRATOR: Charlie Laurenz
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Scarlett Tatiana Marie Codith Juniper Flannigan
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "crimson ringlets spilling down her back". It is "prized".
EYES: "green cat-like eys with gold rims around the pupil."
MARKINGS: Is gorgeous, but thinks she's ugly. She has pale skin and a flat chest.
POSSESSIONS: tons of teeth cleaning supplies, a Durmstrang letter, a Hogwarts letter, a shirt saying that Mr. Darcy's hers.

ORIGIN: The Southern United States. She is full of "manners". Her father had killed her Russian mother. She wants to go to Durmstrang, and not Hogwarts.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Will go to Hogwarts and become a Ravenclaw. She helps the Trio solve the Philosopher's Stone mystery. She buys most of the school Christmas presents because she's friends with almost everyone.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: OCD about teeth cleaning. She talented at magic before ever starting hr magical education.

NOTES: This seams to be very tongue-in-cheek, but I am not sure. The Suethor has another story for PotC which is a Mary-Sue, as well.

You do not have to describe everything. Thanks. )
 
 
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Ugly - Bubba Sparxxx
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
02 September 2009 @ 01:54 pm
Thanks to an anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: I'M a wizard! (Hogwarts story)
PERPETRATOR: GG13
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Faith Flare
SPECIES: She says she's a wizard. Can I use a magic stick tag?
HAIR: "straight jet black hair that only comes to her elbow". Only? Rats!
EYES: "dark brown"
MARKINGS: 5'4"
POSSESSIONS: "a black owl with a white moon cresenton the middle of the forehead" named Luna. Hello Sailor Moon! She has "a black wand but on the parthold it, on the wood was a snake carved in it".

ORIGIN: Her parents died when she was four, did not make proper wills so she was sent to an orphanage/abandoned in a forest. She was adopted by "cruel" people who made her do housework. She finds out she's a wizard at the age of 13, and that her father James Flare, was famous.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Dumbledore arrives to tell her that she is a wizard. She goes shopping with Hagrid to get the "stuff" she needs. He leaves her at Platform 9 3/4.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A temper that results in "powerful" magical outbursts.

NOTES: I'm trying to figure out if this is a take on a "girl who lived" story, or if she is going to meet Harry at Hogwarts.

And then a strong breeze made her look like a powerful wizard. )
 
 
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: She's Like the Wind - Patrick Swayze
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
30 August 2009 @ 10:35 pm
TITLE: Dark Secret
PERPETRATOR: Suki-Itami
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Korin Smith
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "waist length black hair"
EYES: not described.
MARKINGS: skinny, might be anorexic. "Her arms and legs were just as pale as her face, and seemed to be long enough to belong to a muggle WNBA star." She's a D-cup, in case we were wondering.
POSSESSIONS: a black cloak, "a knee-length black dress with a crimson ribbon tied at the waist", black ballet flats. A book: "“Born in Shame” by Nora Roberts". It's her favourite. A "black wand – a phoenix feather resided in it, and the handle was made of Hippogriff leather". Muggle music, "flame red headphones from around the black MP3 Player", and plays "Everywhere I Go” by Hollywood Undead"

ORIGIN: Transferring from Beauxatons due to a "dark secret". She is in fifth year, but is "two years older", but is sixteen.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is placed in Gryffindor, befriends Hermione. The boys ogle her. She bitches at Umbridge on the first day of classes.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Being rude. Gets owls delivered to her in the middle of class. She can conjure "a pure white butterfly".

NOTES: Ok. I know we all hate Umbridge. However, as you see in the sample, the Sues' oppositional and defiant behaviour is uncalled for. If I was teaching her, I would have been livid.

Your attitude is rude and uncalled for. )
 
 
Current Mood: tired
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
26 August 2009 @ 05:26 pm
TITLE: I'm Draco Malfoy's Twin Sister... And I Think I'm In Love With Harry Potter.
PERPETRATOR: xxVivlovesATLxx
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Vivienne "Viv" Malfoy
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "Black. like raven colored black"
EYES: "Blue. The same shade as Draco's if not a little brighter and not as icy"
MARKINGS: "Pale. really pale"
POSSESSIONS: "has all this designer clothes and is really into fashion"

ORIGIN: Draco's twin sister who is transferring from "another magic school in the States" to Hogwarts. Starts in third year.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Gets along very well with her brother. "he becomes friends with hermione and Ron and the expecially the Weasly twins." From the title I can see that she is going to fall in love with Harry Potter. He is shocked to learn that she is Draco's sister. Hermione "loves Vivienne like a sister. Although she is dissapointed that Vivienne is in Slytherin." Ron "is freinds with Vivienne but hten finds out that she isDraco's twin and is mad at her but then forgives her." Fred and George "they become really good friends with Vivienne and they woul do ythign for her. They are partners in crime! :D"
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "Is amazingly nice compared to Draco. Always helps people. But she doesn't know that Draco can be so mean cause he is always nice to her and never raises his voice." "She is amazing at dueling(sp?). Smart." "Isgood at quidditchjust not as good as her brother"

NOTES: Why do 13-year-olds have Louis Vuitton luggage? And why would they care about some muggle designer?

Not as sparkly has yesterday's but still quite bad. )
 
 
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Material Girl - Madonna
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
10 August 2009 @ 10:58 pm
TITLE: Loathing and Love
PERPETRATOR: i_love_harry_12721
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Katie
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a "stupid Southern accent", "I own nothing other than I Heart New York shirts and black shorts!", an owl named Jezebel, an amazing house with flat-screens and a bowling alley.

ORIGIN: Originally from Georgia, but lives in New York. She attended the "New York Witches' Academy" until she has to move to England and attend Hogwarts. Honestly, I don't get this mass exodus to England.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Her alcoholic mom is moving there to join the Order of the Phoenix. Clearly this is to put her daughter right in the path of eligible, heroic teenage bachelors. I wonder if her last name is Bennet? Katie gets "horny" off of pictures of Harry. Meets Ginny in Diagon Alley, who gives her the info-dump about her family. Katie finds Ron attractive and seems to not care that he is dating Hermione. She is going to be "best friends" with Ginny. She is going into sixth year, with the "Golden Trio". Lavender makes a snotty comment to Katie about Ron being hers, and Katie decides to hate Lavender forever. I wonder if she even realizes that it was established a few sentences above that Ron was dating Hermione? Maybe Hermione is just sitting there with her Sunday watching these two girls be idiots.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Thinks London is the "most boring place ever". I feel this makes her "special". A certain level of "crass" I have not read in a while. She has a "crazy power": "Whenever I feel a strong emotion for someone, I can hear their thoughts – whether that emotion be love, hate, anger, or lust. I can’t control it"

NOTES: This, my minions, is a very different kind of toxic.

Wow! This isn't irritating at ALL! )
 
 
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Thunder
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
09 August 2009 @ 10:36 pm
Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent this in! You are fab!


TITLE: Silent Vows
PERPETRATOR: star_lite84
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Wizard
HAIR: "His hair shimmered with chestnut browns in the midday sun"
EYES: "His eyes were glowing angrily with smoky golden tendrils". Sexy.
MARKINGS: a "bronze and muscular chest",
POSSESSIONS: glasses, which he turns into sunglasses to hide his smokin' eyes. A blanket that Hermione wraps her self in: "The blanket was originally Native American. Harry had bought it on vacation because it gave him a strange sense of comfort as he wrapped it around himself. The soft textiles were of reds and blacks, with white images that would be found carved into the totems of the Cherokee."

ORIGIN: Attending school after the war, Harry is left a rage head.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape sets him off. Hermione is submissive and "supportive" of Harry. She stays with him, while he stays at Hogwarts for "Spring Break" to write a paper. The paper can be about anything, and he chooses to write some purple prose about Hermione. She reads without his knowledge, and they admit their love to each other. They live happily ever after.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A short temper with a violent explosion when he is angry. Can blow up things with his anger. His reactions are apparently heroic and something that should be appealing and sympathetic to the reader, instead of childish. He also has strong wandless magic abilities.

NOTES: Harry and Hermione are so out-of-character it's amazing. Even though it is not filled with stupid descriptions of clothes, wands made of unicorn farts, and illegible prose, it is so purple it is toxic.

I was debating whether to use the parts about his explosive tantrums, or the cheesy confession of love. I picked the confession.

Hermione has red eyes? Is she Voldemort's daughter? )
 
 
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Thunder
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
03 August 2009 @ 05:01 pm
Link of the Day: An anonymous minion wanted to alert us to the Universal Mary-Sue Litmus Test. It has check boxes!

Thanks to another anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Werewolf Princess (An RL Love Story)
PERPETRATOR: roza1
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Karah "Aqua" DeLong
SPECIES: 1\2 Witch and 1\2 Veela, and a werewolf
HAIR: "shoulder length straight blonde hair"
EYES: "clear blue eyes". It's where her "Aqua" nickname comes from.
MARKINGS: "Pretty heart shaped fair skinned face", "She wears a (really sorry,) C cup and is thin but very curvy and has a beautiful body. Her face is clear with no zits and she has full red lips." She wears "pink blush with sparkly purple eye-shadow"
POSSESSIONS: cell-phone and a purse, "ona pair of dark wash jeansand a tight purple v-neck top that didn't go down tofar", "a pair of strappy black heels and my favorite coach purse", a owl named Sugar, "pajamas which was a pink tank top with plaid pink boy shorts", a top and shorts.

ORIGIN: Attended Beauxbatons until fourth year, and then she switched to Hogwarts. Bauxbatons kicked her out because she is a werewolf. "She only has her mom because her dad was killed by Fenrir Greyback while trying to protect her. She feels really bad about it and ends up crying if she thinks about it."
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Every girl is jealous of her except Lily Potter and Molly Weasley. She is happy and bubble, and gives the Marauders ideas for pranks. She meets the Marauders on the train, and wows them by loving pranks, Quidditch and reading. Then she meets Lily, and within five minutes of knowing her she slaps some make-up on Lily's face to make her "more beautiful". Then Lucius Malfoy tries to smarm her, and James and Sirius jump to her rescue, but she curses Malfoy herself. She is sorted with the first years, and is told she is "difficult to place", has a "beautiful mind and body", and is sorted into Gryffindor. Int he common room, she gets into a bitch-fight with a bitchy girl named Meridith. This gains the admiration of the Marauders and Lily. She is compelled by Dumbledore to tell Remus that she is a werewolf, but she just tells him that she is part veela. She does not know, yet, that Remus is a werewolf. They fall down the stairs, and while in a heap at the bottom they kissed.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is a werewolf with shiny white fur. Crappy "French" accent, it mysteriously disappears in the seventh chapter. Karah notices this. She does not eat pork because she loves pigs, but will eat turkey bacon and ribs. She makes a scene about it, so I'm using the "vegetarian" tag. She has a "silky laugh". Her werewolf powers allow her to heal quickly. She and Remus can think like regular humans in wolf form, and can read each other's minds.

NOTES: This has got to be one of the most out-of-place references I have ever seen: "Madam Pomfrey came bustling into the room when she heard the doors open. "Oh, hello Remus, just in time. Oh, Miss Delong what are you doing here?" she asked. And as soon as she said it she slapped her forhead with her palm. "Oh, right. Duh. I guess I could've had a V8, huh? Well never mind that and my need for V8. O.k. I'll set 2 beds up and make everyone think, you're both sick and I'll make sure thatno one is allowed to see you. Now hurry along. You've got 5 minutes. You need to be down quicker next time," she said."

DID YOU JUST REFERENCE AN AMERICAN V8 COMMERCIAL? *head desk*

Put your protective text-block glasses on! )
 
 
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Grown Man - New Kids on the Block
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
31 July 2009 @ 04:22 pm
Thank you to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Alice's Adventures In Hogwarts (DM Story)
PERPETRATOR: AnimeGoth1
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Alyssa "Alice, Buttercup" Mollucks
SPECIES: Mermaid
HAIR: brown
EYES: green
MARKINGS: "small": 5’3”, 110 lbs.
POSSESSIONS: "Pimpin" glasses that Luna gives her, a uniform that she does not wear correctly, as a mermaid she wears a red halter-top that goes above the belly-button, "a pair of skinny jeans and a bright, blue T-shirt with glasses on it that says “Talk Nerdy To Me”"

ORIGIN: She was born in California, and transfers to Hogwarts in third year. She is now in sixth year.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is a Gryffindor. She is friends with almost everyone at Hogwarts, except for the Slytherins. After saving Harry from the train, with Luna, she runs off and chats with Draco. Draco does not act like a jerk to her, making her a big exception. We see that Draco is stressing because he likes her, he likes her so much that he waves at her at the start of term and stares at her. This seems to be his big crisis, and not the little ol` problem about killing Dumbledore. I guess he knows Snape has his back. Then in Potions she explains to Slughorn what "Ah" means. She gets into a fight with her best friends, the trio, because they try to explain that Draco is a Death Eater. Strangely enough, all three of them believe he is a Death Eater, not just Harry. But instead of dealing with what her friends are telling her, she just goes and shows off her tail to everyone, including Draco, in the middle of winter. Harry dives into the lake and pulls her out, and we all learn that it`s because Harry is in love with her. He’s carying her and refuses to put her down, and the Draco gets involved. She agrees to go on a date with him to Hogsmeade. Pansy, disguised as Hermione Granger via Polyjuice, attacks Alice so she misses her date with Draco. Draco, who bought her a necklace and a rose for their first date, is deeply saddened. We are left at this heartbreaking cliffhanger. I wonder what will happen?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "She’s part mermaid, giving her the ability to sing great. She is able to transform when she wants to." Her tail is orange. She is described as "random", which means the Suethor has decided to have her shout out awkward or strange things while attempting humour. She has a great sense of smell.

NOTES: This is completely based on HBP-movie canon.

This is the third pottersue entry that has mentioned The Little Mermaid 2 superficially. What is with that movie and Mary-Sues?! )
 
 
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
28 July 2009 @ 02:23 pm
TITLE: Why me?
PERPETRATOR: Lady Alyssia Lassaria
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Cathryn Joanne Lim
SPECIES: Mage
HAIR: black
EYES: "dark brown eyes blazed with fire"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: Pets: "Arwen – Female Ruby Red Dragon, Daniella – Silver Arabian Mare, Jade – Female white tiger, Cathy – Female snowy owl, Sasha – Female Angora kitten, Kiara – Female Dalmatian, Mariah – Female phoenix, Mara – Female wolf cub, Jacinta – Female Saluki, Olivia – Female Pegasus".

ORIGIN: Australia. The Ministry now allows the Commonwealth to send students to Hogwarts! Score! I'm waiting for my letter now!
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is in sixth year. She has an elemental connection to Harry: "He and I are connected in a away stronger than magic. It’s almost like the elements are pulling me to him." You know who says stuff like that? Stalkers. He is her "perfect mate". She is in Ravenclaw. She hates Cho Chang because Cho thought she was weak, and because "the fact that Cathryn came from an extremely powerful and rich Korean family as oppose to Cho’s Chinese heritage. That spoke for itself, really". Well, that sounds awfuly racist. Then she goes over to show off how awesome she is to Ron, Ginny and Hermione, while explaining to all three her abilties. She gets into a bitch fight with Cho. Then she is with Harry, and then she randomally faints and some other Mary-Sue Mages show up and I gave up reading because the Sparklypooness was overwhelming me. I needed smelling salts.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Her animagus is a swan, her element is fire, and she an "animal whisperer". She can talk to unicorns. She knows advanced magic for her year. She is a "humantarian" and cares about everyone. Knows wandless magcic and many mage abilities. She is a fire mage.

NOTES: Ok. The only reason why I selected this story was for the summary: "FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HATE THIS STORY, READ THE DAMN 6TH CHAPTER AND SHUT UP! I AM TIRED OF GETTING HATE MAIL! GET OVER IT! IT'S A STORY! IT HAS TAKEN ME 4 YEARS! THE NEXT PERSON WHO SENDS ME HATE MAIL WILL BE BANNED! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!" Also, we are sraight out told that the Sue is based on the Suethor, "flaws" and all.

Rude, Pretentious and Annoying!!! )
 
 
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: That new Black Eyed Peas song.
 
 
Potter Sue of the Day
27 July 2009 @ 02:10 pm
TITLE: lucy snape
PERPETRATOR: hannahfloss
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Lucy ann. snape
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: nothing described
POSSESSIONS: a Hogwarts letter.

ORIGIN: Voldemort doesn't exist, and Snape has a child. They live in Australia, you know, where the Suethor lives.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is going to go to Hogwarts, and she is going to be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Gets Snape to live in the muggle world.

NOTES: I love how there was no explanation about why they are living in Australia. The only information I had was that they had to get to the Perth airport, then fly 15-hours to England, and the Suethor is from Australia. That's pretty presumptuous.

At least I got to use this icon! )
 
 
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Private Dancer - Danny Fernandez aka Sean Desman's younger brother.