TITLE: goddesses of the moon (harry potter story)
PERPETRATOR: somebodys15angel
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Serena McGonagall.
SPECIES: Goddess/Daughters of the moon.
HAIR: "short la-yered brown hair with blond streaks straight"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: a scar from where her abusive father hit her on the chin.
POSSESSIONS: "a red halter top and jean shorts". A sue-friend named Jimena a, who has a tattoo below her belly-button. A moon goddess amulet that emits energy whenever a "follower" (bad guy) is near.

ORIGIN: McGonagall's granddaughter. She comes from the States to help find Hermione and Kina the other moon goddesses. They were sent to protect the earth and have some bad guys called "Atrox" chasing after them.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Has some sort of grand mission regarding protecting the earth and fleeing danger. But really she is paired with Oliver Wood mostly. But it turns out that Oliver is actually the bad guy and this Stanton person is not-so-bad?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can read minds. Knows kung-fu.

NOTES: Glitter should never be used in this quantity: "She pulls a red satin halter out of her closet and a red skirt with gold pleads in it and she changes. She rubs gold and red glitter all over her arms and legs and chest and she puts some around her hair line and she puts gold eye shadow on and paints flames down her arms and legs and she puts gems a crossed her hair line and one on each corner of her eyes. She turns to see Kina in the doorway in a pink dress that ends just above her knees that has a bunch of layers on the bottom that comes to points in different shades of pink and purple she has pink and purple glitter all over her legs arms neck and a glitter star on her cheek and she painted vines down her arms and legs. They put their shoes on and walk out to see Hermione in a light blue satin tank top and skirt with darker blue on the bottom and a dark blue scarf tied around her neck with blue glitter all over her and some through her hair. She has blue and silver flames up her legs."

( I love how Oliver defines the Sue in his dialogue. )

TITLE: Descent from the Heavens Here is the Rewrite.
PERPETRATOR: invisible-gurl
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Aisha
SPECIES: wind goddess
HAIR: "waist length wavy golden blond hair"
EYES: "clear emerald eyes"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: nothing as of yet.

ORIGIN: Is being exiled from heaven, and wants to help the mortals.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Loves Remus Lupin. Dumbledore gets her to join the Order.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Immortal

NOTES: Sparklypoo! I love you!

( Please don't use emoticons in your prose )

Get your nominations in for the Golden Bubotubers!


TITLE: . :midnight goddess love: . ( a harry potter love story)
PERPETRATOR: freeasair
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: isabella jennifer marisol pasalaqua aka you
SPECIES: Night Goddess
HAIR: "brown hair that seems to have bronze hairs in it", with a blue streak
EYES: "silver eyes with blue rims"
MARKINGS: "a perfect hour glass shape you have a scar on ur upper arm that is shaped like a crescent moon you don't know how you got it", "a perfect tan"
POSSESSIONS: "red tank top and your brown striped hoody with half sleeves to cover your scar, a pair of jeans, your silver moon crescent necklace and your white flip flops", a motorcycle, a broom,

ORIGIN: You and your twin sister get transferred to "hogwarts".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: You and your sister meet Harry and Draco at the Hogwarts Express. You are "bffs" with Luna, and always have been. Is sorted into Ravenclaw despite the hat originally wanting to send her somewhere else. Then we find out that you are Voldemort's daughter, and you have a date with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "you are almost always happy unless you are angry you usually aren't sad ur really tough", "most guys find you irresistably beautiful ", "you are the night goddess you control every thing to do with night and you know this very well you can control your powers and only three people know about ur powers, ur mom and dad, and ur best friend isabella and she is ur sister", drawing,

NOTES: If you are going to write about two characters, please don't give them similar names/nicknames

( Read more... )

TITLE: Innocent Bride
PERPETRATOR: Calypphire
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Honey Maverick aka Honey Snape
SPECIES: Youth Angel
HAIR: "long, flowing honey coloured hair" What kind of honey, exactly?
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: a "Youth Mark" on her body that alerts people to her abilities. It's a "of a prominent crescent moon and five pointed star". OMG Sailor Moon!
POSSESSIONS: "simple white dress with exposing shoulders", "a simple pair of white gold studs and a white gold necklace with a heart on it", "a pearl necklace, a pearl bracelet and a pair of pearl earrings". She has a "white gold wedding band", "a CD player – one that could play MP3s". A house-elf named "Pinga". Muggle clothes: "a pair of faded blue jeans with red roses and stems entwined around the left leg, black leather belt and black top with a red rose in the middle of the chest".

ORIGIN: She is a descendant of Wizarding royalty and the goddess Aphrodite: "All Youth Angels share the bloodline that came from the very first Youth Angel, Aphrodite – known as the Greek Goddess of Love according to Muggle literature. Aphrodite probably was a Goddess, but one thing is for sure, she was a very rare kind of witch and she was crowned to be ruler of the Wizarding World". Ever since she was a baby she was put under a betrothal spell with Snape by her father. This is to keep her hidden from Voldemort. She is now married to him, and he wuvs her. Why? 'Cause she's fourteen? "Honey is twenty years my junior, only she is still yet to have her fifteenth birthday in August."
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Dumbledore and McGonagall witness their wedding. Snape is soft and sweet with her, not making them sleep together. Aww. They have united sex dreams instead, thus not scaring her and making her lose her virginity, and allowing the Suethor to write sex scenes. She goes to Hogwarts, is sorted into Gryffindor and is almost raped by Vincent Crabbe, Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini. Ron saves her just in time. Snape gives them detention, wipes their memories, and deducts 100 points from Slytherin. That night they finally sleep together.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is a Youth Angel, meaning she is the fountain of youth. She will always appear young, and will live for a very long time. She is "able to heal people and is able to do magic without the use of a wand" and can give wizards "extreme powers" which they can take from her unwillingly. If they have children this will be passed on to them. Her marriage to Snape gives him stronger magical powers so he can protect her. She can enter people's dreams and have realistic sexual dreams with them without losing her virginity. She loves listening to "muggle singers and bands, such as John Farnham, Phil Collins, The Choir Boys and Icehouse." She can speak English, "French, Italian, Japanese and Indonesian".

NOTES: Wow. We haven't had a Sparkleypoo like this one in a LONG time. I really don't think it could get worse. Well, it could, she could get pregnant with twins.

( Is there any more wish-fulfillment you would like to insert into your story? )

TITLE: I am not who i appear 2. It's a sequel.
PERPETRATOR: wild-in-spirit
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Leila Canis Kilgour Lupus aka Leila Canis Kilgour Lupus-Snape
SPECIES: Sorceress/Elemental/Goddess
HAIR: "Her hair was no longer the dark brown it had been, it was now a dark burgundy colour"
EYES: "had changed from the chocolate brown to stormy grey"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: Amazingness.

ORIGIN: She is the daughter of "Artio, Celtic Goddess of the wild, and Marcus Major Lupus".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Snape's wife. He showed her that there is more to life than the just death of those around you. She shows up after disappearing for a while and then shows up out of nowhere, takes charge of the order, brings back Harry, Ron and Hermione from the Horcruxes, understands Ginny better than anyone, enlists the twins to help. She is the godmother to Teddy Lupin. She convinces Tonks to stay at home, and that Remus will be fine "once I get to him". She dies in the final battle because she saved the lives of so many people. *crystalline tears travel down my face at this knowledge - due to laughter*
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "I am a sorceress, an elemental and I have the blood of a goddess running through my veins".

NOTES: This is almost as annoying as that 5th Marauder/Remus' wife Sue we had about 100 Sues ago.

( Teddy is an orphan for a reason! )

Second last day to get your votes in!

TITLE: Fallen Goddess
PERPETRATOR: ObsessedwithEdwardCullen Oh sweet Jesus
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Hermione
SPECIES: Goddess
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a wedding gown.

ORIGIN: She is a goddess. Zeuz wants to marry her but she is in love with Harry Potter. He banishes her from Mt. Olympus (I assume) and tells her that if she can get Harry to love her then she can come back with him.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Loves Harry Potter.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is a goddess, has "powers", and is/was immortal.

NOTES: I smell a future nomination for OMGWTFBBQ!

( Of all the mortals you pick Harry? )

Well, it's May 11... tomorrow I'm off to Anime Central, so as I did last year and the year before, I will be posting all the Sues I would miss in advance. I guess I could do them from Chicago, but that would involve stepping away from the viewing rooms long enough to find an internet connection. I'll be re-dating them to match the dates they would have been posted, so they may not show up on your friendslists. I will therefore include links in this post to the next three Sues. Added bonus of this is that you won't have to subject yourself to four Sues at once unless you're really masochistic. Like me.

Friday's Sue is here.
Saturday's Sue is here.
Sunday's Sue is here.

Here's that other Lily-Sue.

TITLE: Goddess
PERPETRATOR: CattyCat

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Lillian Grace Evans, AKA Artemis, AKA 'Tiger Lily', with bonus-stu brother, Lucas Mitchell Evans (Apollo), and bonus-Sue friends, Katy Dubois ('Cheeters') and Thelia Kirk 'Foxy'.
SPECIES: goddess
HAIR: red, 'permanently died' black. Death generally is permanent, yes.
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: 'some piercings and tattoos' she got to express her ANGST after her brother ran away from home and her parents started beating her.
POSESSIONS: a ring James gave her: 'It was beautiful and enchanted to fit my finger and only my finger no matter how much I grew and no matter who tried to put it on.'

ORIGIN: Er... born in California. Voldemort killed her parents and now she's in a rock band called Goddess. Was very close to her brother in a possibly not totally platonic way. And... uh... she and her brother are actually Apollo and Artemis. Petunia is Persephone. No, this makes no sense and has dick to do with the rest of the story.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Hogwarts exists. So does James Potter. Peter's status is undetermined.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Being 'totally ignored' at school despite being the lead singer in the MOST FAMOUSEST ROCK BAND EVER OMG.

NOTES: The lyrics. They BURN.

And the gods and goddesses thing is just... wha? It seems to be there mostly so a Deus Ex Machine (surpassing in its literalness even the one from Excel Saga) can heal all Lily's angst and get her together with James.

SAMPLE: ( What The...? )

Another crossover-Sue!

TITLE: A Rose at Hogwarts
PERPETRATOR: AnimeMaster1

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Kodachi Kuno of the line of Hecate
SPECIES: human/witch
HAIR: Black, I guess.
EYES: Black?
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: a wand. She was too special for a wand from Ollivander's, so she had to go see somebody named Lulu and get one that's 'nine and one half inches, willow wood with a core of Baetylic stone'. Some kind of pet dragon creature (a 'Dratini', which is apparently a pokemon) she named Chibi-USA.

ORIGIN: She's descended from the Goddess Hecate, who is also the fifth founder of Hogwarts, and somehow related to the Japanese Emperor. And she's going to Hogwarts, and determined to be really bloody aloof and annoying the whole time, as well as stealing stuff from the books just to show how much more special she is than Harry.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: There's no canon in this so far. And where canon does show through the cracks, the Sue promptly pushes it aside and goes and does something more special.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: I'm sure she has them in spades, but they haven't been described yet.

NOTES: If I were a dragon-creature that took exception to being referred to as 'it', I'd sure as hell bite somebody who decided to name me 'Chibi-USA'.

Interesting to compare today's to yesterday's... both are crossovers between Harry Potter and a world that it's really not too much of a stretch to integrate with it (Labyrinth yesterday, Ranma 1/2 today). Neither really show any concrete signs of plot. And yet yesterday's was amusing and halfway entertaining while today's makes me want to kill something violently. Maybe it's that yesterday's was trying so hard not to be a Sue, while today's is taking every possible opportunity to go OMG LOOK SHE'S SO SPECIAL!

SAMPLE: ( Why Couldn't Voldemort Have Finished The Damn Job? )

Now, this is how you make a gender-bender funny.

TITLE: Lunae Filia
PERPETRATOR: heleentje

SUE-O-METER: (okay)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: human/witch
HAIR: not described - brown and bushy, I suppose.
EYES: not described - brown?
MARKINGS: a crescent moon tattoo that magically appeared on her arm.
POSESSIONS: none mentioned.

ORIGIN: She's actually the daughter of Selene, the Goddess of the Moon. And Draco is the son of Helios, the God of the Sun. Gee. Wonder where this is going.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Canon is really irrelevant when we're talking about daughters of the Moon, aren't we?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: 'The powers of the night'. Okay, then. She can... make stuff dark?

NOTES: No mocking her spelling or grammar - she says she's Belgian and English is not her first language. Fortunately, the story offers plenty to mock.

I'm rating this one an 'okay' because it's really not a Mary-Sue yet and it's hard to tell from here whether it'll be just lukewarmly bad or downright radioactive. It is, however, very obviously getting there. The first chapter is pretty dull, offering only some weird thing about how Hermione apparently can't sleep if she can't see the Moon. This makes me wonder what she does on new moon, or on those nights when the moon sets just after sunset or rises just before sunrise. One would think that such an affliction would have been noticed before now.

The second chapter is where things get weird, so that's what I quote for the sample.

SAMPLE: ( In The Name Of The Moon, You're A Mary-Sue! )

At least the people who reviewed this one seem to have a clue.

TITLE: The Year of Fire
PERPETRATOR: Lovely Firelight

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Jana Firelight
SPECIES: Goddess
HAIR: long and wavey... she's described as looking like Hermione but WAY PRETTIER!
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none
POSESSIONS: a horse and a fire extinguisher.

ORIGIN: A guardian goddess, here to protect Hogwarts. Honest.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Ron has a thing for her, but her true love is Hermione. Yay! Lesbians!
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She's a fucking goddess.

NOTES: There's a bonus here in the form of John, a Marty-Stu. He's evil and wants to kill Jana and her 'soulmate', who is (get this) Hermione. Let's hear it for the lesbians! The word 'kill' is used a lot in this fic... Draco seems to be in a constant bloodthirsty rage.

This fic is probably a joke. I sure hope it's a joke.

SAMPLE: ( Lesbians! )