TITLE: True Hufflepuff
PERPETRATOR: Junsui
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Helga Hufflepuff
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: bitterness.

ORIGIN: Helga's true nature is lost to history. This story gives us the "truth".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Helga is secretly better than all of the other founders and she resents them for it.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Uses people for their abilities, like a Slytherin. She works hard.

NOTES: Here's a future most OOC nomination!

( You just need to get laid. )

TITLE: The Truth
PERPETRATOR: SwailaThorneBaflow
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Helga Hufflepuff
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "curly, white-blonde"
EYES: "a sick delight sparkled"
MARKINGS: She looks "Angelic".
POSSESSIONS: A spider to torture.

ORIGIN: Muggle-born parents, which she murders.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She confesses to her girlfriend, Rowena, that she killed her parents and some students to frame Slytherin and make him leave the school. Why? Because Rowena cheated on Helga with him, and Rowena got "knocked up". Then she Obliviates her, and turns back into sweet Hufflepuff.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can easily cast two of the three Unforgivables.

NOTES: Rowena has a 10-year-old newspaper clipping about Helga's murdered parents. It makes me laugh because there weren't newspapers in 990 A.D.

Link of the Day: lastshadow wants us to see this (NSFW):






Edit: Sues 600-700 have now been tagged.


Thank you to Vorse for sending in today's Sue!

TITLE: Simply Rowena
PERPETRATOR: ad0rkable xo0
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Rowena Meredith Ravenclaw
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not mentioned
EYES: not mentioned
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSSESSIONS: Muggle-friend named Ellen. She ditches her to explore Diagon Alley. A wand "Unicorn hair, mahogany, 8 inches long", "a beautiful gown of sapphire colored velvet". A vault full of money she never knew she had. The newspaper from the "local newspaper vendor".

ORIGIN: One day she pops into the Leaky Cauldron with some money her mother gives her, and is introduced to the Magical world. Her grandma was a squib and never told her about the magical world.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The Leaky Cauldron's Barman gives her money to buy a wand, which she does. Then she buys a dress, so she won't look like a Muggle. Then she meets "Godric Gryfrindor". His dad is the Minister of Magic. Yes, that's right, they had ministers in the year 1000. Then she meets Salazar and Helga at a café. Helga asks her about where she'll go to school. Then she finds her vault full of money and goes home to see her mom. When she tells her mom that she is a witch, her mom freaks out, Rowena destroys her mother's "prized Italian vase", and then her mom kicks her out. She goes running back to Diagon Alley, where Godric and his dad find a nice "flat" for her to stay in. Then they decide to build Hogwarts, in one chapter, just so they don't have to go to France for school. It takes 10 years to build it. She and Salazar start "courting", and then Godric becomes envious and tries to pursue her. She decides to have an affair with Godric, and they have late-night rendezvous. Of course, it is discovered and a giant fight occurs in the Great Hall. The same day Rowena finds out she is pregnant with Godric's child. Rowena runs away to have the baby, leaving Godric with Helga. Where does she go? Oh! I have to quote it: "Rowena went by train to America, where she had her name legally changed to Meredith Granger. She had the baby and named her Lillian Rose Granger. Lillian turned out to be a squib, married a muggle man, and so goes the family tree without magic, until a certain Hermione Granger comes along." She rode a fucking train from England to America in the year 1000, my minions.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She knits out of boredom.

NOTES: I think I purposely avoid Founders Era stories because as a History major I don't want to see my field of study getting raped in the ass again and again.

( Would it kill you to research life in England 1000 years ago??? )