Link of the Day: "Hey, i know that man [Jesus]. He was around the Dursley's in a photo frame, I think I am related to him" Harry claimed.. What?!

Two Christmas/Jesus related Stus today!

TITLE: Harry Potter and the Greatest Power Ever Known
PERPETRATOR: downey boy
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Super Wizard
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a "Magical Core" that the Founders complete. Completed it creates the "Phoenixes Maximus Spell planted within Harry's very Magical Core, waiting to be unleashed and Call upon those who will Re-Awaken Jesus' Spirit." A box from Dumbledore that is labeled for Aunt Petunia: "The Day He Moves Out and Tells You What To Do". In the box is "PURE MAGIC" that Harry knows will help him raise "the Good Dead Ones", James, Lily, Sirius, as long as they have a piece of their soul imprinted on his soul. It sounds like Harry's soul is a sticker book, and he collects souls as stickers.

ORIGIN: Harry Potter receives his "full inheritance" from the Founders at the end of sixth year. He gets to bring back Jesus. There is some sort of prophecy made: "You must know that Harry will become more powerful then the Ancient Ones of Time. He will inherit the Powers of all Powers! He is Desendant of the first real Magician who walked this Earth! He is going to be a very special young man when he grows up! He is going to have the Special Powers of 3 of the Good Founders of Hogwarts thrust upon him! He will be called THE True Guardian of Light! He will bring upon his friends the Other Great Powers of The True Guardians Of The Light! The Time will come when Powers be unleashed and all Hell will break loose, but it will not be today! The Time will come when all bonds of fellowship will break, but it is not this day! A Time when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! On this day, the Good will make a stand and destroy the Evil that threatens to take over this world for his own! And sometimes, there is no Good or Evil, but there is Power and those too weak to seek it!" So he's related to Jesus as well, or Merlin. Probably Jesus.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Three of the founders, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff have to "watch over" Harry now that Dumbledore is gone. He needs their help "to Re-Awaken the Great Spirits of Jesus and His Disciples to help him protect those who he cannot protect himself, and destroy the Dark Lord." He is the heir to the three "good" founders. Snaps at Hermione and Ron, but then apologizes to them. Goes back to the "Durselies" and tells them to flee. His aunt and uncle agree and sort of worship him. Then he writes a letter to the "Weaselies" giving them a crap-load of instructions, it's hilarious. Harry was named Head of the OotP, but steps aside due to his "mission" and tells Remus to take over. Then he opens this magical box, and "pure magic" flows out, "filling his reserve" and filling Aunt Petunia's reserve, giving her magical powers.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: His "full inheritance" includes "the Ancient Power to ReAwaken Jesus and His Deciples". Can feel the presence of people in other rooms. When focusing on the "presence" he can see their faces. He can feel emotions in the air, and stop people's physical actions with his own mind/wandless magic. Can "delve deep" into Voldemort's mind to see what he is planning. Only "PURE MAGIC" flows through him, which is undetectable by the Ministry. Dumbledore had it, as well, but not as "strong" as Harry's.

NOTES: I often find that Stuthors who are male write the worst Stus.

( This is absolutely absurd )

I had a Sue picked out for tonight... but then this showed up on marysues. That's right... I had the NSync Goes to Hogwarts fic up for one day, and somebody already topped it.

Do Bible fics count as RPF? I mean, just a question...

...anyway, you might wanna take advantage of that back button. Like NOW.

TITLE: Jesus goes to Hogwarts
PERPETRATOR: undercover goon

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Jesus Christ
SPECIES: Umm... human/incarnate deity/wizard? Perhaps someone more religious than I can help me here.
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: Born of a Virgin, has a sky-high midichlorion count and is prophesized to bring balance to the F... OW! Enough with the thunderbolts, already! Sheesh, you'd think a supposedly benevolent god would have a sense of humour. Myah. He's Jesus, okay? And Dumbledore travels back in time to get him so that he can fight Voldemort, who is the incarnation of Satan. There, now go aim your lightning at the author of the fic.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: er...
SPECIAL ABILITIES: you mean in addition to being the son of god and all?

NOTES: Look on the bright side: maybe he'll smite the NSync guys. Hey, anybody wanna write a HP/Bible crossover in which Jesus smites the Mary-Sues?

OW! Dammit, I worked hard on this hairstyle!

In all seriousness, I'm pretty sure this is a parody... but gawdayum. Oh, and the author has the legendary DBZ/Anne Frank Crossover on her favourites list.

SAMPLE: ( I'm Agnostic And This Still Burns )