Sue #2!

TITLE: Rocking Hogwarts
PERPETRATOR: The Vampiric Angel
SUE-O-METER: (troll)

FULL NAME: Raven
SPECIES: half vampire, half fallen angel.
HAIR: "silky midnight black hair" with "blood red tips"
EYES: "swirling silver"
MARKINGS: pale skin, black wings with red tips and silver runes, fangs.
POSSESSIONS: black combat boots, a "runic dagger" that she transforms into a telescope, "black, silver studded belt", a "strapless blood red top", "A black panther and a small black strange creature called a flitter, which was reminiscent of a sleek rabbit with a long tail". They are named Ebony and Onyxia. She has a "bobbing orb of black and silver flame with red eyes" named "Phyen" acts as her butler. A "Quill Creation" named Nix.

ORIGIN: A cloud. She "warps" dimensions to Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts to help out.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Shows up at Hogwarts, knows Snape on a first name basis, the boys at Hogwarts drool over her. Is sorted into every one of the Hogwarts houses. Attacks a mary Sue that wanted to be sorted again. She gets to stay in her own tower, adjacent to Dumbledore's. He waves at her from his tower and then walks over a magical black cloth to hang out with her.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is the "last Fallen Angel to walk the earth" and half-vampire. She can travel through dimensions. Is a "raven coloured" phoenix animagus. Can apparate like a phoenix on Hogwarts grounds. Has mind shields that she lowers for the Sorting Hat. Is sorted into all of the houses.

NOTES: I am amused that the Mary-Sue attacks the deliberate Mary-Sue that the Suethor created. It's like the pot calling the kettle black.

I think this is RPG/crack fic, and not actually a troll. I think. I loved the part where it said Dumbledore was waving at her. I was picturing Walter Bishop from the Fringe at that moment.

Edit: Sadly, it is a troll/parody.

( The horror! )

I love Quizilla!

TITLE: .:. I Trust You, More Then I Trust Myself.:. Harry Potter Romance
PERPETRATOR: goddessofevil13
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Carly Baker aka You
SPECIES: "part fallen *a mix between a angel and devil*"
HAIR: "you look however you look like"
EYES: "you look however you look like"
MARKINGS: "you very beautiful *i bet you are* and very fit, curves at the right places and you have a tattoo at the bottom of your back near your ass, it had a heart with vines around it your 5'4", "you have fangs and wings, black wings!"
POSSESSIONS: "a orange tight t-shirt saying *why you looking here perv!* and bage (sp?)cargos" and "tims", which I assume are Timberlands. After that, I don't feel I have to include any more clothing descriptions. A baby named Sage, and a wedding dress.

ORIGIN: "you moved to london from canada and your parents abandoned you" but "you live at 5 PRIVET DRIVE!"
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry invites you, a winged creature, to go for a walk. You guys go to the beach, as well, I think, it's not to clear, it's Quizilla! After 22 chapters the Suethor posts a literate "Sorry" chapter where she announces that she's giving up on the story and gives a quickie epilogue. You and Harry get married and have a daughter named Sage. You're a homemaker, and Hermione and Ron are Sage's godparents.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Wings, half devil/angel.

NOTES: In the first 198 words of the story, not including the "memo", she used the word "sexy" 5 times. This is 5 times too many.

( Prepare your eyes my faithful ones. )

Thank you to the anonymous minion who sent in today's Sue!

TITLE: Make me wonder
PERPETRATOR: sweetwolf47
SUE-O-METER: (troll)

FULL NAME: Katherine aka "Kitty" aka You
SPECIES: "half cat demon, half vampire, and half fallen"
HAIR: red
EYES: purple
MARKINGS: 5'1". She has "cat ears and tail".
POSSESSIONS: a dark secret, cancer, a dog named bella, a hybrid, "a dark jeans and a black slipknot band tshirt with a messager [bag]", an ipod,

ORIGIN: Her dad and three other guys are trying to kill her because of her special magical powers. Her dad beats her, as well.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Feels that she's had a harder life than Harry Potter. She lives with Dumbledore. Despite being in sixth year, the Trio notice her existence just now. She dances to Britney Spears song on her ipod, and the new DADA Professors, Sirius and Remus, laugh at her dancing in the Great Hall. She has the hots for Lupin, but is going to be paired with Harry.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is a loner, not that anyone would want to be around her. She likes to dance alone in the Great Hall.

NOTES: Sometimes when it looks to good to be true, it probably is.

( And when the troll mentioned 'cancer' it's fate was sealed for me. )