I have got to stop reading wtf_inc and tws_support. I think by now I've built up antibodies to the Sues, but I don't think there are antibodies for things like this...

TITLE: At the Stroke of Midnight (the Sue will turn back into a pumpkin?)
PERPETRATOR: Annunwilwarin (HELP!)

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Amiliare La Noir, called 'Mia'. Her real name, she discovers later, is Amiliare Greenleaf. Who's surprised? Anybody? Me neither.
SPECIES: Elf/Witch
HAIR: 'billowing long blonde hair'
EYES: 'deep piercing blue eyes', 'far-seeing blue eyes'
MARKINGS: pointed ears, 'although she did not know it or see it she had become even more beautiful and entrancing over the last summer'
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: Dumped at Hogwarts as a baby and then given to the La Noir family to raise. The men in her adopted family all lust after her and the women are all jealous of her amazing beauty. She's 'head prefect' of Ravenclaw.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry is possibly related to her adopted 'relatives'. Hermione is her new best friend for no real reason at all.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: talking to herself.

NOTES: Hermione and Draco seem to be head girl and boy in this, which for some reason obligest them to bunk together - nothing new there. But this unspellably-named-Sue is also rooming with them... what is she, head elf?

SAMPLE: ( The New DADA Teacher Is Also An Elf. Not To Mention A Stu. )

Purple Prose ahoy!

TITLE: Waltz With Me My Love
PERPETRATOR: Ruby2

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Laurel Millan
SPECIES: 'Egyptian Elf'
HAIR: 'Her bark-colored hair with intermingling strands of silver ran the length of her back and pooled near her forearms.'
EYES: Red. She wears sunglasses to cover them so people won't stare.
MARKINGS: pointed ears, 'By no means gorgeous, yet not ugly in the least, she thought of herself as semi-good looking, on good days that was.'
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: I'm confused... she was supposedly summoned to Hogwarts by airplane to meet Dumbledore, only she got ambushed by Voldemort, who set the whole thing up, but then Voldemort got ambushed by Hagrid, and I gave up in confusion.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The summary says she's going to become DADA teacher and fall in love with Snape.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: understands every language in the world.

NOTES: Kinda nice to see an elf named 'Laurel' instead of 'Marisuielwen' or something... although I'm betting 'Laurel Millan' is a fake name. And I have no idea why Egyptian Elves would be pale skinned and red-eyed. That implies a lack of pigment, and given that Egypt is largely desert, you'd think pigment would be extremely important.

SAMPLE: ( It's Hard To Take A Story Seriously When It Talks About 'Tsunamis Of Silence'. )

I normally attempt to resist the urge to use this pre-Sue space to talk about things going on in my life... I have a personal journal for that. But today I just have to tell you about this anime I've been watching: Rune Soldier. Most. Lesbian. Anime. Ever.

( Brief Synopsis, With Subtext )

Anyway, onto the Sue... which also has lesbians! Yay!

TITLE: Sweet Protection
PERPETRATOR: Xx-nefarious-xX

SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Nerull Xiloscent
SPECIES: Elf
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: pointed ears
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: Random Elf Chick sent to Hogwarts to protect Harry. She used to go to 'the renown school of Manatee', which might well be the funniest thing I've heard this evening (I can't say 'all day' on a day when I've been watching Rune Soldier). Sorted into 'Gryphodor'.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Falls for Hermione. Yay, lesbians!
SPECIAL ABILITIES: actually amusing me.

NOTES: I'm pretty sure this one is a parody, and while it ain't great, it's not often that an intentional Suefic manages to make me laugh. Kudos to the author despite the purple prose!

If it's not a parody... well, kudos to her anyway for the lesbians.

SAMPLE: ( You Kidding? We LOVE The 'Whole Lesbian Thing'! )

I'm almost out of theme weeks... I think we'll probably do two more after Elf Week, and then be back to our regularly scheduled random sueage.

TITLE: James Potter and the Emerald Elfstone (OMG James/Aragorn OTP!)
PERPETRATOR: WolfGurl18 (I think having 'gurl' in one's username should automatically lose you ten points)

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Lily
SPECIES: Elf
HAIR: 'long, dark red hair that she had tied back in a braid'
EYES: 'the most amazing emrald green eyes'
MARKINGS: pointed ears
POSESSIONS: assorted knives.

ORIGIN: Elrond's daughter. James, Sirius, and Peter meet her in Arborlon while on a quest for the Jade Elfstone.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The only trace of pottercanon is a few names.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: amazing knife skills

NOTES: This is weird. According to the summary, it's a crossover with Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time, and Shannara. I give it an 'awful' for Crossoverness That Should Not Be and Lack Of Anything To Do With Harry Potter.

SAMPLE: ( Oooh, Lookit All The Pretty Elves. )

Y'know what they say about bicycle riding? Well, it's true: once you learn how, you never forget!

TITLE: Blue Hair, Pointed Ears, and a Wand
PERPETRATOR: Yarrharr

SUE-O-METER: (okay)

FULL NAME: Nadea Ruibhen, which we're told is pronounced 'Nadia Raven'
SPECIES: Half-Elf/Witch
HAIR: 'short neon-blue hair'. This is emphasized a lot.
EYES: 'cat-like, slitted pupils'
MARKINGS: pointed ears. I'm not gonna have to change this category all week!
POSESSIONS: A talking Raven named Croiky

ORIGIN: Some evil elf killed her father for not siding with Lord Voldemort. Now she's going to Hogwarts.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: No Canon yet besides the Hogwarts letter, which inexplicably arrives when Our Sueoine is in third year.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: None mentioned besides remembering things that happened before she was two, but I'm sure there'll be some weird Elf Powerz later.

NOTES: Could be just me, but this is actually pretty cool... I'm just having a hard time getting over the whole 'blue hair' thing.

SAMPLE: ( Of Course I Never Told You About Our Angsty Past, Dear... If I Had, We Couldn't Have Had This Touching Revelation Scene. )

This is unreal. Today's Sue actually manages to out-toxic yesterday's.

It's going to be a hell of a week. x.x

TITLE: Crimson Stains (I guess even Mary-Sues have to get a period sometime)
PERPETRATOR: Rae chan1

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Namarae Potter. Sounds to me like the author saw Fellowship of the Ring and failed to realize that this pretty word means 'farewell'.
SPECIES: Elf/Vampire/Witch
HAIR: 'dark red hair'
EYES: 'light amethyst eyes'. Zarabeth Persephone Riddle lives!
MARKINGS: pointed ears.
POSESSIONS: none mentioned.

ORIGIN: So James and Lily had a fight, and James went and slept with some floozy who later left the fruit of their fling on his doorstep. He didn't want to admit that he'd had an affair, so he sent the girl to live at Hogwarts, where she was brought up with Dumbledore. Still with me? Then some evil mage cursed her to be an elf. Allow me to repeat: then some evil mage cursed her to be an elf. Following this? You sure? 'Cause it gets better - see, the elf curse didn't work properly, it just made her look like an elf, so the mage came back and cursed her to be a vampire, too. Got all that? There'll be a test later.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry's half-sister, Dumbledore's adopted daughter, Draco is fascinated by her. *sigh*
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Healing powers and probably some mystic Vampire shit of some description.

NOTES: Ron has a laptop in this fic... just one more 'why' for the heap of 'em.

SAMPLE: ( It's A Long-Lost Sister! No, It's An Elf! No, It's A Vampire! No, It's A Mary-Sue! )

I tried out that OTP Generator Meme merulina linked to... and what do I get?

loves

What's Your OTP?
St. Dymphna's - A Harry Potter RPG
Yup. Mary-Sue and Sirius. *sigh*

This week is Elf Week.

TITLE: Till the end The final battle
PERPETRATOR: jasmin flower

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Yitkah Raven
SPECIES: Elf/Witch
HAIR: 'streight blonde hair, never leaving out the six braids and the beads with my status as well as my acomplishments'
EYES: 'large jade green eyes'
MARKINGS: pointed ears.
POSESSIONS: spiffy-ass robes.

ORIGIN: Is from the City of Legolas. Heh heh. See, Tolkien just wandered into Elf Land one day when he was a kid, and went on to write out all the history they told him. Now Our Sueoine goes to Hogwarts. Mary-Sues don't need reasons.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is in Slytherin. Malfoy seems to like her. Of course.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is an artist. Can sense 'large losses in life'. That gives me two mental pictures... the first is a Sue who gets chills every time somebody loses a bet or goes through a divorce. The second is of a Sue sitting there going, "I just felt a great disturbance in the Force..."

NOTES: Gorgeous Elven Sue who seems to get waaaay too much of a kick out of describing herself. I'll bet she masturbates naked in front of a mirror, which is a mental picture I didn't need, thanks (of course, you didn't need it, either, but misery loves company). I made it through the first two chapters, but my head started to hurt about the time the POV randomly changed. This one could challenge She-Snake on the annoying scale.

She-Snake Versus Yitkah! In a cage! Two Mary-Sues go in, only one Mary-Sue comes out! Or, if we're lucky, no Mary-Sues come out! I could totally go for that!

Perhaps I've been working too much...

I love how the Sue Author claims she could win a court case that her Sue belongs to her. If I had millions to spare on extraneous court cases, I'd take her up on that. A character based (badly) on Tolkien's world and dropped (badly) into J. K. Rowling's... yeah, you could totally prove that's a hundred percent your property.

SAMPLE: ( I'm Specialer Than You. Pay Attention To Me. )