Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!


TITLE: Draco malfoy and me? engaged??? part 1 xx::(a hogwarts love story)::
PERPETRATOR: thedevilschildxxx
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: felicity riddle
SPECIES: Witch/Elemental/Sue
HAIR: "raven black waist length hair that looks like it has dark blue an purple in it, its slightly wavy"
EYES: "my eyes change colour randomly from my naturalmysterious gray tosky blue,silvery green an black"
MARKINGS: "i'm 5,6 and i'm petite but "developed"" If you are 5'6", you are not petite.
POSSESSIONS: "i had loads of friend but no best friends", a kitten named "Blood", "a denim mini skirt, a red bikini top an apair of red flip flops", "white skinny jeans, blackknee high stilletoe boots, and a long black top with a"i wouldnt fuck you for money" on in white letters across my boobs, then some black netted arm warmers".

ORIGIN: Voldemort's daughter and she loves him. We are told this in the first line. She was born on Halloween. She is transferring to Hogwarts from Beauxbatons.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is surprise-engaged to Draco. We all know the story.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She was the "sexiest" girl at Hogwarts. "my personality is bitchy cocky spoilt kind caring sweet funny, also icontrol the elements,air, fire,earth, water, light, darkness, the weather, and i can read minds, when i use the elements my eyesflicker between blue, green, orange, pink, black white, yellow, purple, red, indigo.also i'm a parseltongue, i can also talk to cats dogs, birds and horses"

NOTES: Wow! If Sues were a drinking game, we'd all be drunk! It would probably make this better.

( Quick! Avert your eyes! )

TITLE: They always lie
PERPETRATOR: Christina Lillian Potter
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Christina "Chris" Lillian Potter aka Princess Adrasteia "Dray" of Elron
SPECIES: Witch/Elemental
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a kingdom

ORIGIN: Harry's long lost twin sister. They are separated after Voldemort's attack. She is sent to Elron "there parent home land". There she will become "Queen of Elron when she turns of age". There are "older brothers" who will be going with her to Elron. Harry get's to live with the crappy Dursley's to "be brave and learn to put others before himself".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry's twin sister. Is going to go to Hogwarts with her friends to teach "non-magical defenses". Wants to be sorted like everyone else. Despite being a teenager she can go to the MoM and discuss treaties and "Voldemort issue".
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She will become a "fine warrior and leader". She is "the element binder she will lead the other element powers together and keeps the balance".

NOTES: There are two chapters updated months apart. Chapter two is better than chapter one, but is still irritating with her uniqueness and my pet peeve of the chapter opening with someone yelling at someone else to get up/come down stairs.


( A case for stricter grammar instruction. )

TITLE: Harry's Melody
PERPETRATOR: WhimsicalBreeze3897
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Melody Black aka Melody Weasley
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: colour changing with her moods
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSSESSIONS: a letter

ORIGIN: "Samantha Lupin walked into her bedroom to find her husband, Sirius Black, and told him, “Hey, Hun? Ummmm I’m kind of….. sort of…. A little… pregnant. Isn’t that well, um, oh just scream already.”

The tears had started to fall down her cheeks, and Sirius said, “OH MY GOD!!! That’s, that’s amazing!” He then picks her up and spins her around." HA HA HA HA HA! Yeah right.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The Weasleys raise her after Sirius is arrested. She is going to be paired with Harry.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Elemental: "can shape, move, expand, boil, and freeze water". Also: "Her singing has the special power to calm immortals. Such as vampires, werewolves, merpeople".

NOTES: The chapters are very short and abrupt. The Suethor wants to get to the "good stuff".

( I love the fact that Arthur disregards the part about Samantha being dead. )

Thanks to an anonymous minion who sent in today's Sue! Remember if you want to be credited to let me know, I don't always reply to your submissions. Also, if you want to submit a Sue/Stu to send it to pottersues@gmail.com. Do not send them via LJ messages. LJ deletes them after two weeks.

TITLE: Vampires and Valkyries
PERPETRATOR: IWantALLtheIceCreamFlavours
SUE-O-METER: (troll)

FULL NAME: Odette Ivanjilinah Envy Neveah- Miko Valencia aka Ivan ("Ee-vaahn")
SPECIES: part vampire, part Valkyrie, half veela
HAIR: "Caramel bronze coloured hair with strawberry blonde highlights and blonde tipped tresses was in fat encircling ringlets". It goes down to her legs. "her large, ringletty caramel hair dancing sexily and seductively in the blustery weather".
EYES: "caramelicious"
MARKINGS: She's 5'8", willowy, long legged, 110 lbs. Her skin is full of "lightness and purity".
POSSESSIONS: a "empire waist gown bodice-corset, which was bursting of red, luxurious lace", "7 inch diamond heels made of rubies and gold in the soles", "a brilliant silver dagger encrusted with rubies and silver letters that didn’t say anything, they were just letters"

ORIGIN: Was attacked and raped in her home in "Norseway" and wakes up in Hogwarts.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry saves her from her attempted suicide. They automatically love each other and after knowing each other for one day they make love. Harry's penis of healing heals her. While they are "having the best sex of their lives", she turns into a mermaid. Harry decides to steal "Gillymerweed" from Snape so they can be together.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is a vampire and half Veela. And some sort of elemental called a Valkyrie. "She can control air, earth, fire, water, and nuclear weapons except she can only control one of these each day and she never knows which one it will be. If she summons enough strength to use two powers at once, she gets a whole new power, and she won’t know what that is either. Her powers rule her life."

NOTES: This troll made me laugh a lot. Way better than all the My Immortal trolls. I think it's funny that it has two flames/negative reviews when it's such an obvious parody.

( Harry 'prancing happily' brought near-endless giggles. )

TITLE: I am not who i appear 2. It's a sequel.
PERPETRATOR: wild-in-spirit
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Leila Canis Kilgour Lupus aka Leila Canis Kilgour Lupus-Snape
SPECIES: Sorceress/Elemental/Goddess
HAIR: "Her hair was no longer the dark brown it had been, it was now a dark burgundy colour"
EYES: "had changed from the chocolate brown to stormy grey"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: Amazingness.

ORIGIN: She is the daughter of "Artio, Celtic Goddess of the wild, and Marcus Major Lupus".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Snape's wife. He showed her that there is more to life than the just death of those around you. She shows up after disappearing for a while and then shows up out of nowhere, takes charge of the order, brings back Harry, Ron and Hermione from the Horcruxes, understands Ginny better than anyone, enlists the twins to help. She is the godmother to Teddy Lupin. She convinces Tonks to stay at home, and that Remus will be fine "once I get to him". She dies in the final battle because she saved the lives of so many people. *crystalline tears travel down my face at this knowledge - due to laughter*
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "I am a sorceress, an elemental and I have the blood of a goddess running through my veins".

NOTES: This is almost as annoying as that 5th Marauder/Remus' wife Sue we had about 100 Sues ago.

( Teddy is an orphan for a reason! )

Thank you to the anonymous minion who sent in today's first Sue!

TITLE: Sabrina the Elemantal Witch
PERPETRATOR: aussie-chick114
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Sabrina Tiffany Jones
SPECIES: Elemental Witch
HAIR: brown "in pigtail plats".
EYES: can turn her eyes black.
MARKINGS: "I had a very feminie figure. Big chest, nice butt and a shapely waist but I’d also matured a tiny bit. I still had a slight American accent, my stupid phrases, my crazy attitude and my very wicked and mischievous nature but I now had a deeper side, a side where I showed my feelings and thoughts."
POSSESSIONS: a broom, "pair of denim short shorts and a green shirt", shorts and tank top", "a black skirt and a blue top that seemed to fit like a glove. It came to my belly button and had royal blue ribbon crossing over my shoulders and back.".

ORIGIN: America.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is BFF with Lily Evans and Severus "Serv" Snape. Is in Gryffindor. Calls McGonagall "Gonnie". She and Lily play pranks on the Marauders. She and Lily find out about Remus in second year, and keep his secret. Is on the Quidditch team as a beater, opposite Sirius. She is going to be paired with Sirius Black, obviously. In fourth year, she and Lily go to a nightclub on the seventh floor, near where THEY found the Room of Requirement. It is called "Blaze". There they become dancers and singers, but the Marauders never got to the club. In fifth year she moves out on her own, her parents buy her in Mayfair, and Dumbledore puts protective wards up around it. Lily comes to live with her there.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can involve the elements in her magic. She is almost unsortable. In third year she an Lily become animagi: "I was a brown dog, the fur the same colour as my hair. Lilly on the other hand was a gorgeous doe, green eyes and red tinted ears."

NOTES: I love how the class bimbo is described: "Sirius walked in with our year level slut, Rachael. Rachael was your classic bimbo, big boobs, tiny waist and flawless skin. It also didn’t help that she had a really whiney voice and she was a slut."

Hmm, physically she sounds like you? Interesting.

( Jennifer Lopez music? In the 70s? Oh wait, you didn't set it in the 70s. )

TITLE: Playing with fire
PERPETRATOR: Syren Hmmm, not a good sign.
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Syren Singer
SPECIES: Witch/Elemental/Immortal
HAIR: "long multi coloured hair"
EYES: hazel
MARKINGS: a "roundish" face. The Dark Mark on both arms and a tattoo that says "The only Muggle born death eater".
POSSESSIONS: a "dark secret" that she is hiding from everyone. Two uniforms.

ORIGIN: She "was kicked out of Cackles Academy, she then was sent to St.Esmeralda's Academy. After being transfered from there in her 5th year (must be 18) she is being sent to Hogwarts to do her final years."
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: A grand entrance into the Great Hall. She sang at everyone and they all loved her for it. She is unstortable, and has to divide her time between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Pansy is rude to her at first, and after Syren pacifies her. She is a showoff in Potions, and Hermione automatically befriends her, and then Harry, Ron, Fred and George do as well. Then we learn that when she was in her old school, she was forced to be a Death Eater. She's quit now, though. Harry trusts her. Then she gets an owl from her old school saying two of her best friends were killed in the tri-wizard tournament, and that they would like her to return to represent them. She does.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is an amazing singer, is unsortable. She goes invisible when she is embarrassed, and invisible and in flames when she is scared. She has "abilities" that would make Voldemort "cringe". Yes, the man who split up his soul would cringe. She is amazing at school. She can duplicate herself, like in Multiplicity. Apparently some experiment backfired and it joined her magical abilities with her elemental ones. She can turn into a ghost. "I can shape-shift into that snake that he has around his shoulders. I have elemental control; I don’t need a want for magic. In my ghost mode I am immortal as well as invincible".

NOTES: It passed my "troll" test. There were so many awful parts, it was so hard to pick a sample!

( I command everyone to read the whole thing! She calls Snape 'the teacher'. )

Link of the Day:

belovedligeia wants us to see this sad video. :(






Thanks to ikabod11 for sending in today's first Sue!

TITLE: Driven Mad
PERPETRATOR: Nemesis
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Archaic Fae aka a Sebal or Elemental Fae
HAIR: "silky, long, and tied back gently in a ponytail"
EYES: "green eyes were shining inhumanly"
MARKINGS: He is now "impossibly tall" and "attractively slim". He has a "supernatural glow" to his skin. He tells us later that he is "seven foot two, and I weigh barely 45 pounds". His voice "was smooth and deep and very sexy." He has a geometrical shape on his right hand showing that he is mated to someone.
POSSESSIONS: An amulet that helps reduce the desire he creates. pottersues has one, too. *swishes hair around like a shampoo commercial* He has a bracelet, which shows his bond to his life-partner.

ORIGIN: Harry's grandfather was an Archaic Fae, so now Harry is. Harry has come of age.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: He is smarter than Dumbledore. Hermione wants Harry to have a threesome with Ron and her. Fudge wants to use Harry's powers for the Ministry, and Harry shoots him down. Malfoy, Ginny, Ron, and other members of the school population ask for kisses from Harry. A Fae confirms their life-partner with a kiss. He gives Professor Snape the deepest feelings of desire and lust, and is his life-partner.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Now that Harry has come of age this means that he has come into his full powers. He tells us: "Sebal, when they are underage, are usually unremarkable in appearance and possess scarcely one-hundredth of their magic and one-twentieth of their intelligence. One of the magical powers a Fae possesses is the ability to make all single wizards and even some witches incoherent with lust." Furthermore, this lust is so strong because Harry is a virgin. Harry tells Dumbledore: "I have twelve different senses – magic rebounds on my natural magic shields, and my magic is exceptionally strong. Voldemort and his entire army could not hold me." He can Apparate on Hogwarts' grounds. Harry explains his powers in more detail to Hermione: "I can see and hear with any part of my body. [...] I can sense magic and magical signature. That’s the sixth [sense]. I can hear thought waves, although that’s a sense I can turn off, kinda like shutting your eyes. That’s the seventh. [...] Eight is detecting levels of intelligence and skill. [...] Nine is detecting emotions. [...] The others are inexplicable."


NOTES: Harry is so attractive that the stone gargoyle staircase moans in lust for him. No, I am not making this up.

( I want someone to make an illustration of Harry's proposal and Snape's response. )

TITLE: blessing of the wild
PERPETRATOR: wild-in-spirit
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Eclipse Major Kilgour McGregor
SPECIES: Elemental
HAIR: "shoulder length, layered, dark brown/black"
EYES: "grey, almond, glasses/contacts". I am going to assume that means that her grey eyes are almond shaped and she has glasses and contacts.
MARKINGS: 5'8", "curvy, clear complexion". She has six tatoos: a "black dragon on her back, phoenix rising from the flames on her left hip, goddess symbol on her left wrist, McGregor written across her neck, picture of a wolf howling at the moon on her right arm and a unicorn on her ankle."
POSSESSIONS: "jeans, t-shirt and trainers", several pets: "black owl named midnight, 2 dogs; German shepherd called Scully and a Husky called Lola and a phoenix which she does not class as a pet, more like a companion for life, called Despida Pájaro meaning fire bird. He was her grandfathers but when he died D.P was passed on to her", her wand is "9 inch, oak tree and phoenix feather". She inherits Fawkes from Dumbledore.

ORIGIN: She "was born and raised in Scotland. Went to a muggle primary school and travelled a lot due to her family working for the muggle RAF meaning she learnt many languages until she was 11 when she received her Riverside letter. Riverside is a private magic school in Russia that she has attended for 6 years and is now going to Hogwarts for her last year. Is the middle child of Evonne and Andrew McGregor, Alastor is 2 years older than her and Luke is 3 years younger. She discovered she was a telepath when she heard her brother thinking about a girl at the school and learnt how to be an animagus when she was 13 which was needed to pass her exams in Riverside."
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is best friends with Charlie Weasley, and has been accepted into the Weasley's family. She attended Hogwarts in her seventh year, and was sorted into Gryffindor. She shows up at the reading of Dumbledore's will, and Harry gets in her face, not knowing who she is. She tells him off and then she and the Weasleys' reunite. We learn that she taught them some basic Spanish.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can speak "English, Gaelic, Italian, Spanish, Russian and Swahili". Her powers are: "non-verbal magic, wand less magic, telepath, able to speak to animals, elemental and an animagus". Her personality traits: "very honest, believes in equality (none of the purebloods are better), intelligent, free spirited and hot headed". Her strengths are: "intelligence, wittiness, bravery and loyalty", and her weaknesses are: "short temper, her fear of being inadequate to the people around her but mostly the fear of failing her friends and family". She plays "Quidditch (chaser or beater), reading, singing, and plays piano and guitar".

NOTES: This part made me laugh: "Likes: Quidditch, honey dukes chocolate, zonkos, friends". Zomg! No way! You like friends, too?

( 'Because I loved you, damn it!' is one of those LOL-worthy phrases. It's like I'm watching some awful soap opera. )

Thanks to Mickey for sending in today's first Sue!


TITLE: The Known and Unknown
PERPETRATOR: Hellen Malfoy
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Hellen Potter
SPECIES: Elemental
HAIR: "waist length, straight, platinum blonde hair with one streak of black hair in the front". "The black streak in my hair relates to me being the Elemental. When I’m sad or hurt the black streak will grow larger, covering more of my hair, when I’m mad the streak will turn red, and if I’m happy the streak will decrease in size. However, the streak in my hair can cover my whole head if I’m upset enough but even when I’m the happiest person in the world it will still be there even if it’s only one strand of hair."
EYES: "crystal clear blue eyes"
MARKINGS: She's 5'11", her "body was slender but had curves in all the right places", and she has "flawless light skin".
POSSESSIONS: C.D.s from Draco, a boom box, flip flops, "black dressy short shorts (because I only have short shorts), a light blue babydoll top, and a pair of black flats", "a light blue halter dress that was full length, silver heels, a diamond set of jewelry I had given to me", a diamond engagement ring from Draco, a wedding band and engagement ring from Lucius, "a very simple, yet elegant, short black dress".

ORIGIN: Has completely replaced Harry Potter. Her parents are not dead, and she is 17.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The daughter of Lily and James Potter. She is in Slytherin. Draco Malfoy is her boyfriend and she loves him a lot. She knows she's not like his evil father. ne day, her family tells her that she has a long-lost twin sister named Katherine, and Hellen freaks out and begs it not to be true. Why? I don't know. Snape calls her Hellen, and she gets to call him Severus. When she leaves the house out of afterwards to go to a cafe, Snape meets her there and begs her to talk to him. After talking for two hours, they kiss. Then she goes home, and Draco is there, and James Potter lets him stay the night in her room. She meets her sister the next day, and is a complete bitch to her, then she gets to go on a date with Draco. While on this date, Draco proposes to her, she accepts, and then Lucius arrives tells Draco and Hellen that Voldemort wants to see them. So, they oblige him. He wants Hellen to bring her sister to him, she reluctantly agrees, and then goes back to London with Draco to party in a club. The next day they tell her family and decide that they want to get married as soon as possible. They are not going back to Hogwarts because they "know everything". Suddenly Voldemort and the Death Eaters kidnap the couple and Katherine. She strikes a deal with Lucius, and agrees to become his new wife. What happened to Narcissa, you ask? Oh, she died last Thursday. How does Hellen feel? She loves Draco, right? Well, she used to have feeling for Lucius too. She and Lucius have relations, and when she learns that Lucius has some illegitimate children, and that she would always be chained to him, she decides that she would rather be with Draco. But in the meantime she has sex with Lucius at his beach house. He calls her "belladonna" all the fucking time.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is only one two elementals born this century. "The Elementals have extraordinary powers. We have the ability to control the five elements: earth, water, air, fire, and spirit. With my powers, I can control anything having to do with the elements such as the weather. When I cry, it rains and when I’m mad there can be earthquakes. It is a great but horrible gift to have because it is such a huge power and responsibility. The worst part of it is the attraction to darkness, which goes back to the gypsy blood that runs through the veins of every Elemental. The magic that we have the ability to use is so powerful that even the most advanced wizard cannot do handle it." " I could always tell when someone was lying because of my special gift." She can make Lucius promise to never cheat on her.

NOTES: The Sample is different from normal. I couldn't decide which one to use, so I included two sections. You will understand why.

( Why does everyone love her? )

Thank you for the nominations! The polls will be up later today!

Link of the Day: ghessy's first Harry Potter Sue was Just a Japanese Girl Prodigy.

Jennifer has sent us her First Harry Potter Sue! When she first found pottersues she wanted to have this story sporked. Sadly it was deleted from the archive she found it at. Recently, for the "My First Sue" activity, she found it on fanfiction.net! It has even been updated, but she's far to scarred to find out what happened.

TITLE: Elemental Prophecies: part one
PERPETRATOR: Nival Vixen
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Ginvera "Ginny" Weasley
SPECIES: Elemental
HAIR: shoulder-length and red
EYES: blue
MARKINGS: Bruises from Harry's beatings.
POSSESSIONS: A "thought wand", ash wood 8 1/2 inches long, "mermaid scale, unicorn hair and a gryffin feather. Her wand had chosen her, as if it knew she needed him. Mr Ollivander had been pleased to sell it, saying it had been in the shop for over 10, 000 years. Ginny believed him, she could feel it's ancient power." It's named Tzal that she can communicate with telepathically. No one else knows that she and her wand chat. An ancient letter written in the Elemental language that describe their magical abilities. Ginny has "socks and hoes". A painting that Draco made for her. Mountains of "Get Well" presents. An expandable Invisibility Cloak. An Ancient wedding ring, with the inscription "Together through life and past death". A white dress, green ribbon, silver tiara.

ORIGIN: An abusive relationship with Harry in her sixth year. One day at school the Professor discover that both Ginny and Draco are Elements. There is a prophesy about them. It reads, "Two the same but different must be found. They must learn to love again, then be bound. If evil is to be defeated they have to love each other Past death, through life and always be together. One shall have a heart of golden fire, the other a heart of silver ice. Their hearts will be surrounded by steel that only the other can break. Their souls are fire of water, water of earth, and fire on air. Element is the name of the pair". Soooo, Draco and Ginny are going to be forced into marriage, and will defeat evil.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: In the Prologue, we learn that Harry Potter has been raping Ginny for the last six months. If she resists then he would hurt her family. As a result she has not spoken to anyone for six months. She goes to Potions early, and Snape talks to her. She communicates with hand signals and written notes. Snape is very kind to her, assigning her house points and is impressed with her work. McGonagall is teaching her Charms privately. Snape sends her to Dumbledore, praising her abilities, and recommends that she go into a seventh year class. Dumbledore lets her choose which class and she picks Slytherin. Harry forces Ginny to meet him at the Astronomy Tower, and as he is raping her Tzal/Ginny attacks Harry. She brings him to the Hospital Wing. Upon leaving Draco teases her, asking what did Harry do to her? He can tell from her reaction that he struck something deep inside her, and is left wondering about what happened that would cause Ginny to curse Harry. In her DADA class, Moody sees through her glamour spells, and sees her bruises. He also sees "fire" because she is an Element. Moody finds out that Draco is an Element and Dumbledore calls a meeting. In the meeting he tells them about the prophesy and tells them that they are the Elementals in the prophesy. Then they have dinner together where they test out their new powers. The next day Rapist/Evil Harry harasses Ginny, she defends herself and Draco shows up to help her escape. After they escape, Harry says to himself, "I'll get you for that Ginny. Putting Lumos on me! Making me look like a fool!" This made me crack up! They don't trust McGonagall. Secretly, McGonagall is working for Voldemort, because she is married to him. Then for many chapters Draco and Ginny get to know each other and show off their powers. When Harry is walking down the hall, Ginny changes her appearance and demands that Draco kisses her. The trio made rude comments. Hermione yells, "He's got a new whore!" WTF?! Then Harry sends her a note saying that she doesn't do it for him anymore, so he's going to kill her. But, because he's not so bad he is going to give her one last chance to make him come. They create a trap, and Hannah catches Harry raping Ginny. Draco punches Harry, and then the big brothers Ron and "Derek" come in to add some more punches. Then Ginny slits her wrists, saying that Voldemort made her do it. Draco saves her using his powers. He tells her that he loves her. Ginny is in a coma to escape her pain. In her mind, her and Draco have to completely three challenges if they want to see each other again. One is a stupid quiz, the next is a pseudo lie-detector, and the last is a maze. Obviously they pass all the challenges. Ginny wakes up from her coma. All of Hogwarts has gone to Hogsmede to buy her presents. They all file into the Hospital Wing to give them to her. Cho calls her a slut, so Ginny curses her. They decide that they can fight Voldemort. Then they get married in Dumbeldore's office. And Ginny concieves Draco's daughter.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is very smart, and is a head of the class in Potions and Charms. She can enter Dumbledore's office using a "thought pass". They installed it for her when they realized that she won't speak. "Alastar" Moody discovers that she is an Element: "His magical eye swivelled to her, and all it could see was a fire. He looked at her heart and saw a gold fire surrounded by steel, then he forced himself to look at all of her, the fire intensley bright. He saw a fire, within the fire was water. At a closer look, the water looked like it was made from the earth, and the 'fire' sat on the air". The same day, he also notices that Draco is an Element: "Out o the corner of his magical eye, he saw something that looked silver. He looked properly and saw Draco. He was the same as Ginny had been: fire of water, water of earth and fire on air. They were the same, except for one thing: their hearts. Ginny's was a gold fire surrounded by steel, and Draco's was silver ice, but also surrounded by steel". When angry, they can make spheres of light surround themselves. Ginny's is golden. The Elementals left a list of the magical abilities that Ginny and Draco are going to inherit:
"1) You will be able to read, write and speak every language fluently,
2) You will both be able to fly, but only if you are within a 100 metre radius of each other,
3) If you both sing at the same time, you can knock a person unconcious (only if you want that to happen though),
4) You will have telekenisis (the ability to move objects with your mind),
5) You can become invisible at will,
6) You can change into any animal of your choosing (without having to qualify as an Animagus),
7) You will be able to communicate to each other through telepathy,
8) You will both be able to do any type of art perfectly,
9) You can stop time for 10 minutes maximum (you will only be able to do this twice a day, so choose your times carefully and wisely)
10) You will both have spheres that react to strong emotions. They will also be activated through willpower or if you need it. You will both have to control your emotions better so you don't lose control infront of anyone, Muggle or wizard.
These powers will come into affect after you have both agreed on one pwer from the above list not to have until you have fallen in love." They choose to abstain from telepathy until they fall in love. Also, "The last Element descendants live inside of you. They may come out of you to guide you in your quest. They may also (with or without permission) take over your bodies for a short amount of time. You will become very weak and tired with both of these adjustments, but you will get used to it after a few times. On the first few attempts, we suggest that you have a large portion of chocolate handy." They can speak Elementa, the language of the Elementals. She received 2330 N.E.W.T.S.

NOTES: There are pictures! I love it when there are pictures and banners, it takes the sporking to another level. Harry is so commically evil. According to the Suethor, "shrieked" or "loudly" is not a word. The Suethor claims that Slytherin is "(Satan to Jesus believers)".

( There are 29 chapters. I stopped at 11. )

bitchoftheday is gone. Does that mean I'm no longer the bitchiest bitch ever? I was kind of proud of that... it's not many people who can claim somebody said there would never be a bitch to match them!

TITLE: Teenage Terrors
PERPETRATOR: YNKEJNR

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Missy Marcus, Andrea Till, Pam Troc, Whitney Hall, Chelsea Wood, Ellie Walled, and Rachel Grith
SPECIES: human/witches
HAIR: I'm not looking through this fic for each one's specific hair colour. No way.
EYES: See above.
MARKINGS: Here are where the appearances are described. I have no idea how to sort out which ones go with which Sues: '(Going from left to right) There was a tall red-head with a brilliant white streak on the left side of her head, wearing black gloves and a tight fitting blue jacket. Next to her was another red-head, who was taller then the rest, wearing a biker jacket and large gothic pants. Both surveyed the whole platform with questioning looks. Behind them was a labeled ‘wacko’. A silvery haired wonder, whose happy expression did not match the strange things she was discussing with a small built brunette, who tended to act like a two year old. Overseeing the whole ordeal was another silvery haired girl with a sword tied to her belt, and a black haired, chaos happy, psycho who longed for a fight to brighten her day. In the back of the strange group, stood a girl with dyed purple hair and earrings galore.'
POSESSIONS: nifty gloves.

ORIGIN: Do we really care? They're Americans, and have been summoned to Hogwarts by Dumbledore to infiltrate the Death Eaters with their Super Special Powers. Maybe Dumbledore is hoping Voldemort will recognize them as Sues and kill them all.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: New friends with Luna Lovegood. I'm sure at least one of them will shag Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: 'Each can control a different element: fire, water, air, earth, metal, darkness, and lightning.' Wake me when Captain Planet gets here.

NOTES: Amazing how the Sues with the most complex premise always seem to be the most boring to read.

'Metal' is an element if you follow the Chinese system... but 'darkness' and 'lightning'? Oh, well, I suppose it's no dumber than 'heart'. I always thought I would hate to be the kid stuck with 'heart'.

I wish I could say that seven Sues in one fic was a record.

SAMPLE: ( Yawn. )

If this week is anything to go by, any fic that spells it 'Hogworts' is almost certain to be a toxic.

TITLE: Another Year
PERPETRATOR: buffy black

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: scirese lese weasley. It is never capitalized that I can see.
SPECIES: Mary-Sue
HAIR: not described - could be red, I suppose.
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: About all I could tease out of the mess is that she's from California. Or maybe that was all a dream - who knows?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: A Weasley (or should that be weasley) cousin of some sort. Possibly adopted. I can't tell.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: she's one of four kids who seem to have some kind of element powers. Hers is fire, and there's a water, a wind, and a lightning. I suppose Harry's will be heart and then Captain Planet will show up to destroy the evil Sue Authors who pollute our bandwidth.

NOTES: Incredibly, I don't think this is a parody.

SAMPLE: ( What The Hell Is Going ON Here? )

Six days to vote! Call your friends and get them to vote, too!

TITLE: Gryffindor Princess, Slytherin Prince
PERPETRATOR: Cosmic Angel

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Elemental/Witch
HAIR: 'waist-length dark blue hair'
EYES: 'strange eyes. They didn't seem to be any colour she recognised'
MARKINGS: apparently 'extremely tanned'
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: The daughter of the Queen of the Elementals, given to the Grangers to raise so that she wouldn't be in danger from Voldemort. Now she must locate the Prince of the Elementals, her destined true love, who was likewise hidden. This is going to be Draco, and despite the author's promise of a 'twist', it could not be an iota more damned obvious.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Yet another Hermione impersonator.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can control the elements... if this mean magical powers over helium, boron, and plutonium I would have laughed. Sadly, we're stuck with water (a compound), fire (the light given off by a violent oxidation reaction), air (a combination of many gases), and earth (which can be made of just about anything). Although... I would also have laughed if 'heart' had been in there and the fic had paired her with Captian Planet...

NOTES: This story has been sue-reported before, apparently. The author claims that somebody told her it was terrible, so she took it down and vowed never to post another fanfic. Sadly, when she changed her mind, she chose to re-post this one rather than trying to write something that's actually good.

*sigh*

SAMPLE: ( Apparently, Hermione-Sue Can't See That Big Flashing Sign That Says 'Draco's The Prince' )