So, I saw New Moon today. It was better than Twilight, but still cheesy fun goodness. I know some of you are snobs about Twilight *wink*, but I just love cheese. You can't blame me! I do get a kick out of Mary-Sues.

So, in honour of the new film, here's a crazy crossover!


TITLE: Harry PotterTwilight mix
PERPETRATOR: Twilightcat14
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Cedric Diggory aka Edward Cullen
SPECIES: vampire/wizard
HAIR: not described. Topaz?
EYES: "dark crimson"
MARKINGS: "ghostly"
POSSESSIONS: a dark cloak.

ORIGIN: "This is the story about what should have happened to Cedric Diggory after he was sent with Harry by the Triwizard Cup to the graveyard! Enjoy!" He died and stayed dead?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Wormtail "kills" him, but then he comes "back to life" help defeat Voldemort at the graveyard. Everyone from Twilight comes to help. Cedward is glorious. He reveals himself to everyone, confessing his true identity. Then he stays at Hogwarts as Harry's bodyguard, and after Dumbledore dies he becomes Headmaster of Hogwarts!
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Immortal, super-strength, sharp teeth.

NOTES:This is too funny! Maybe it's a troll, maybe it was honest, you can't really say with Twilight fans. ;)

( Headmaster Cullen? LMAO! )

Thanks to glideiscope for sending in this Sue!

TITLE: Wild Thing
PERPETRATOR: HarryPotterLover101
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Hermione Mia Jane Granger aka "Mia"
SPECIES: Witch/vampire
HAIR: "strait down to my back"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: a "slimm body", "light and natrual makeup"
POSSESSIONS: a "laytex Jumpsuit", "a sexy short black strappless dress",

ORIGIN: "Loosely based on Jennifer's body". Voldemort tried to sacrifice her, and now she's a vampire.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Draco recognizes her in NYC they hook up because it's true love. Nine months later they have a daughter: Esmee Mia Malfoy.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: kills without remorse or regard.

NOTES: Draco "wore baggy blue jeans and black tight fitted top with a whith a black ed hardy top." So Draco is now Jon Gosselin.

( OH MY DEAR GOD! THIS IS HILARIOUS! )

TITLE: Wishes
PERPETRATOR: Lady IkoYume
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Bella Isabella Malfoy
SPECIES: Part veela
HAIR: not deascribed
EYES: "light silver", they change to "golden lava" when she is mad.
MARKINGS: wings, "poisoned claws" that come out of her nails. They emit flames.
POSSESSIONS: a diary

ORIGIN: Draco and Isabella Malfoy's daughter. She is going to be married off. She wishes on a star for a good man of her own choosing. and is transported to the Star Trek Enterprise, the 2009 version.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is Voldemort's "adoptive granddaughter". She is "the other Heiress to Salazar Slytherin throne". Throne? She runs away from home, and then is transported to the Enterprise. McCoy tries to give her a "sanative" but she freaks out. She is scared of muggles.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is part Veela. She is a Parselmouth. Voldemort "gave" her that ablity. Advanced Potion making skills.

NOTES: I'm am killing myself with laughter at the cliched reaction to Spock, her one true love.

( This is pure Sue! )

TITLE: Silk On Steel
PERPETRATOR: twighunter
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Lilly Merry Lassana de Orchid, formerly Lily Daggerbit from the Clan of Evans in the highlands of Scotland
SPECIES: Courtesan-in-training/Highland Lassie
HAIR: Red
EYES: Grey
MARKINGS: Alabaster white skin...and that's about it
POSSESSIONS: Surprisingly, no fancy dresses - she has to borrow from her Mistress at Orchid House, her virginity for the first couple of chapters, a friend by the name of Erik Zabini, two blue steel knives to protect herself from the advances of King James Potter of a rival city who apparently loves to love 'em and leave 'em. Seeing she's a courtesan, I would imagine that would be her MO too, so I'm not sure of why that's a BFD.

ORIGIN: Someone thought it would be an amazing idea to crossover HP with Kushiel's Dart. It really wasn't.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Apart from the name? Absolutely nothing
SPECIAL ABILITIES: horse riding, dancing, etiquette, reading, writing and the art of knife wielding, as well as tumbling and flexibility

NOTES: This is a horrible bastardization of what happens in the Kushiel's series. Which I would much rather read than this hokey crap.

( This is what you went to courtesan school for? I think you need to get a refund )

TITLE: TruBlooded Family
PERPETRATOR: Kiera27
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Wizard
HAIR: as per canon
EYES: like Lily Potter
MARKINGS: none described, a scar I assume.
POSSESSIONS: Wangst.

ORIGIN: Same ol' Harry, just with Bon Temps connections.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Which one? He is a cousin of Sookie and Jason Stackhouse. Gran is actually Petunia and Lily's mother, as well as Sookie and Jason's grandmother. Sookie is going to take him to Merlotte's. Harry is going to be paired with a male.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: He can read minds like Sookie can.

NOTES: Part of me is horrified that there is a Harry Potter/True Blood crossover. Twilight I can understand, True Blood less so. But as the saying goes, "If you think it up, it's on the internet."

( Pity I couldn't have had Sookie be the Sue to report. )

TITLE: Green Eyes
PERPETRATOR: Twilighter1006
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Eleanor "Ella, El" Maria Carmichael
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: curly, just the way Cedric likes it.
EYES: "the most gorgeous hazel eyes"
MARKINGS: "a smile that will light up the room even on a cloudy day"
POSSESSIONS: Lots and lots of dresses. The most hilarious accessories ever: "‘Cedric’s Forever’ necklace, a bracelet that said ‘Forever and Always’ that Cedric got me for a fourth year together", "I had the promise and engagement rings on…engagement on my left and the promise ring on my right just like Cedric’s is", "my belly bar that had ‘C’ for Cedric the I put in a diamond pair of earring that Cedric also got me". I GET IT YOU LIKE CEDRIC.

ORIGIN: A fan-fic based on a Suethor's fantsaies with Robert Pattinson's "characters" (Cedric and Edward only, of course). She says she didn't use her own name "because I don’t want to sound to obsessive with Robert".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is "THE" Cedric Diggory's girlfriend. Incorrectly believes he is Head Boy. She is a Ravenclaw. They met at the age of eleven, and in second year he saves her from being embarassed by Fred and George. Six months later he asks her out and they've been dating ever since. Girls hate her because she's dating him. They get engaged before the last task. Then they have sex in the Room of Requirement on their fifth aniversary (dating). They have sex to Bryan Adams "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)". She's hoping to get pregnant.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Phrophetic dreams.

NOTES: She is so excited to have sex with Cedric that she says "“Cedric…I just want you to make love to me…no foreplay” I said…to him. I smiled at him once I saw that he smiled to me first." That made me laugh like crazy. Silly, silly girl.

( Your virginity is not a gift. It can not be returned and exchanged for an iPod. )

Last day to send in memorable quotes to pottersues@gmail.com or pottersues@hotmail.com


TITLE: Your Journey Through The Hogwords School Of Witchcraft And Wisordtry==> And Your Encountors W\ Draco, Harry, ect.
PERPETRATOR: DracoHarryBoyLover420
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: aka You
SPECIES: "65% WITCH, 25% SLAYER, AND 10% VEELA"
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: An owl from dad.

ORIGIN: You lived in the States with your mom, then you leave at the age of 15 to go live with your dad in England so you can go to Hogwarts. You are late starting because your sisters died when you were 11.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: I'm pretty sure your are Lupin's daughter, since dad has "scars all down his face" and this story was written around the time when the PoA came out. You meet Draco and Harry on the Hogwarts Express, and you get an eyeful of Draco when he changes into his robes, and you fall asleep in his lap. I know I like to fall asleep in strangers laps, especially on public transportation.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "A SLAYER IN THIS QUIZE IS DIFFERENT FROM A SLAYER IN LIKE THE SHOW BUFFY. IN THIS QUIZE SERIES, A SLAYER DOESN'T SLAY ALL VAMPIRES, MONSTERS, DEATH EATERS, ECT. WHAT A SLAYER SLAYS IN THIS QUIZE SERIES IS ONLY THE EVIL VAMPIRES, MONSTERS, DEATH EATERS, ECT. AND A SLAYER IN THESE QUIZZES STILL HAS ALL THAT SUPER STRENGTH, AND STILL IS A GIRL."

NOTES: It was difficult finding a good sample, but I loved how she told us how to pronounce "rapture", "serenity" and "trilogy".

( Why are you shouting at me? )

VOTE! Get your last minute votes in!

TITLE: Harry Potter and Voldormorts curse
PERPETRATOR: soon2bestephanie
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: selena black
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: "a scare, shaped like a lightning bolt, on my lower neck. with this scare he gave me most of his powers but also gave me stronger ones that he never has had or ever will have"
POSSESSIONS: "strawberry scented shower gel", "white leggings with blue flowers down the sides of them, i like the idea of having flowers on my clothes, and put on a light blue long top", this dress for the Ball, a magical invisible cottage.

ORIGIN: Voldemort killed her family and gave her some amazing powers.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is "Serious Black's" sister. Is best friends with Lily and James, and is Harry's godmother. She is at Gordic's Hallow when Voldemort kills them and trying to kill "three-year-old" Harry. Selena stops him because he starts talking to her about joining his side. She refuses and he runs away. Dumbledore, Hagrid and the Minister of Magic arrive and drag Selena and "Serious" off to "askaban". After 13 years they let she and "Serious" go, and the fly to Hogwarts together to find Harry. Then Peter and Voldemort show up at Hogwarts to kill Harry, but then vanish when they become outnumbered. Cedric "diggery" winks at her and she thinks he's hot. He puts his arms around her waist and such. Her "home" is a dance studio, all she is dancing ballet to Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now", and she transports to dinner where she learns that Harry is going to the ball with Rosalie Hale from Twilight shows up. Then they go to
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Has been 16 for over 50 years. Special powers: "1)never eat and never starve. 2)never sleep 3)warmth is my energy 4)click my fingers and i can be somewere else within a second. 5)not having to use a wand to do majic. 6)to be able to fly 7)basicly do whatever i want to do with the click of my fingers 8)see visions of the future." *[Bad username: pottersues"] drags her hands down her face in pain*

NOTES: This isn't a troll as much as it is movie-canon only + writing whatever I want.

( Please stick with one plot, thank you. )

I'm so excited for this! Muhahahahaha! *rubs hands together with evil glee*

TITLE: Vampire At Hogwarts
PERPETRATOR: Simpsonsdude13
SUE-O-METER: (okay)

FULL NAME: Renesemee "Nessie" Cullen
SPECIES: I mean 'vampire hybrid"/witch.
HAIR: as per Twilight canon?
EYES: as per Twilight canon?
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a snowy owl from Alice. She names it Lily. A Hogwarts letter. Earrings: "One pair was simple, golden orbs that shined in the lamplight. The other pair was golden dolphins, one with a sapphire in its body and one with a ruby in its body", "wooden wolf earrings". She has a "pink DSi", which the Suethor knows isn't canon compliant, but wants us to go along with. Then we get a big description about her "Animal Crossing: Wild World" game. A girly suitcase.

ORIGIN: Edward thought he was infertile. He thought wrong.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She's a witch because Edward was a wizard before he became a vampire. He attended Hogwarts and everything. Might not be paired with Jacob because Leah imprinted on Jacob. That's not how imprinting works btw. All of the Cullens move to England so Nessie can go to school. Might be paired with Harry. I wonder if they ever told Jacob that they were moving? I could see him hanging around their house like Grampa Simpson. It would be hilarious.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "My growth had slowed down to the normal speed, so it didn’t look like I’d grown a year every month." Haha Jacob, you're screwed.

NOTES: I rated the story okay because despite Nessie being the Mary-Sue that she is, and the Suethor can't help it as he's sticking with that part of canon, I was most impressed that it actually seemed like I was reading a story about an 11-year-old going to Hogwarts.

( Sadly she is the most 'real' 11-year-old I've ever featured here. )

I am loving the crossover section at the Pit. It's wonderful.

TITLE: Mermaids
PERPETRATOR: Harpiebird
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger aka Lady Hermione
SPECIES: Witch/Mermaid
HAIR: After she becomes a mermaid: "Her hair also seemed to be less crazy as it usually was".
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: A tail: "It was much darker then Ariel’s light green".
POSSESSIONS: Ariel gives her a "very beautiful, a dark green dress which wasn’t as dark as emerald but just as beautiful". As a mermaid: "her bra was of sea shells, almost exactly like Ariel’s except light bluish green".

ORIGIN: Ron does something stupid and sends Hermione into the past, and into world of Disney's The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea. Of all of the sequels to crossover with...
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Hermione meets Ariel and gets to be a mermaid to go to Atlantica to see if King Triton can find a way to send her back home. Ariel joins her.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Adjusts to her new surroundings very well. Has no difficulty being a mermaid.

NOTES: Why is everyone obsessed with turning Hermione into a mermaid?

( Who care that this doesn't make sense! I always wanted to be a Mermaid! )

TITLE: Me and Cedric
PERPETRATOR: Mrs. Edward Anthony .M. Cullen
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Epiphany "Pip" Gabriele Nisus Kae
SPECIES: Witch (part-vampire?)
HAIR: "waist-length dark chocolate"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: "pale white ivory skin"
POSSESSIONS: "I never wore a dress under my robes, just short black denim shorts and other black clothing constantly." She has a "black bikini and black swimming shorts".

ORIGIN: "My parents are Aro and Sulpicia Nisus Kae". This is a Big Deal, as Pansy becomes jealous and blushes at this reveal.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Slytherins love hanging around this Ravenclaw, she thinks it's due to her looks. Draco asks about her blood status, Cho and Pansy are jealous of her, Cedric stares at her, but tells her off for her poor attitude and conceit. Obviously he lives a double life as Edward and hates her for being Aro's daughter. But then she tells him off and slaps him and for some reason he apologizes. Then they go swimming in the Black Lake, in December, and make out. Then they spend some non-sexual time in his Head Boy bed, where he sings her a lullaby. You know, it feels like I've read this before.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "I was sassy and snide when I wanted to be, and I knew exactly how to make someone hurt if I wanted them to. Magic or no magic." Why would these be admirable qualities that someone would want to be around? Why?

NOTES: "I created the Nisus Kae family, for I AM Gabriele Nisus Kae." Ok, then. Also, the plot makes no sense, there are lines stolen from Twilight that don't fit because in the fic Cedric never leaves her, so why would he apologize for that? There is no confirmation that either of them are vampires, but Cedric is constantly described as "icy", etc. Maybe he's just a zombie.

( Your history is no reason to condone violence. )

Thanks to sinkinto_heart for sending in today's Sue!


TITLE: Blood and Magic
PERPETRATOR: tiki876
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described in detail
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: her mother's wedding dress, a "Wedding Book", a book called "Theory of Magical Vampire Breeding".

ORIGIN: The Cullens lost everything they had in America due to some magical folk/vampire segregation. Dumbledore sends them a note asking them to join the Order of the Phoenix. "When arriving to number 12 Grimmauld Place for the first time, they did face some dirty looks (mostly from the Weasleys) but they were soon accepted warmly. Throughout the years, Jasper became very good friends with Luna, Ginny developed a love hate relationship with Emmett, Alice grew very fond of Harry , Rosalie became very close to Fleur, Carlisle became good friends with Mr. Weasley, and Esme learned much from Mrs. Weasley. However, Edward seemed to be the one who kept himself away from everyone else. It was not long before he fell head over heels in love with a certain witch named Hermione Granger." Oh for the love kittens and ladybugs. He proposes to her and she accepts. This is all in the prologue.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Hermione Granger.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Gets Edward to warm up to the idea of creating half-magical half-vampire spawn

NOTES: The characterization of Edward is like reading a whiny characterization of Remus.

( And I thought Bella was Sueish enough )

TITLE: Seiya
PERPETRATOR: greenbugflutepants
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Seiya "Sei" Clara-Jane Diggory.
SPECIES: Witch. Will be a vampire.
HAIR: "bronze"
EYES: "dark grey"
MARKINGS: 5'5", looks like Hermione.
POSSESSIONS: "She inherited her mother Hermione Granger’s brain, and father Cedric Diggory’s stubbornness, and Quidditch abilities." An owl named Storm.

ORIGIN: "Cedric and Hermione Diggory and their daughter Seiya, all have a typical magic filled life. But one day Seiya is almost killed by Death Eaters (because Cedric lived through the gravyard thing) and is on the brink of death. When all hope of her recovering a certin vampire thinks he can save her."
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The daughter of Cedric and Hermione. She is dating Malfoy's son, Alexander. She has finished her fifth year at Hogwarts and is a Hufflepuff.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is going to be an amazing sparkly vampire guys!!!

NOTES: I think my favourite line is "Everyone do the spell Severus taught us. The one that leaves horrible gashes" It just sounds so vague.

( Aw! We're an adorable family! )

Sue #2!

TITLE: Midnight
PERPETRATOR: Arianna_Victoire_Snape
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Wizard
HAIR: messy, black
EYES: green, just like his mum
MARKINGS: lightning shaped scar on his forehead
POSSESSIONS: a loving vampire family, a loving Uncle Severus, a fateful meeting with Hermione Granger in New Jersey when they were thirteen. If the story continues, they will be paired together.

ORIGIN: On the night that his parents were killed by Voldemort, Snape comes to the Potter's house and whisks Harry away to be raised by the Cullens, the vampire family from Twilight since it's better for everyone in the Wizarding World to believe that Harry is dead. The Cullen's lovingly raise him, moving around America to avoid everyone realizing that only Harry is aging.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is the Boy Who Lived. He's just now raised by Vampires
SPECIAL ABILITIES: He will begin attending Hogwarts as a 17 yr old, but will be in year 7 since Snape has already taught him all the magic he would ever need to know. He will also bring Edward with him because he needs protecting and Edward's telepathic powers will allow him entrance into the school as a seer. Harry wants to learn to hone his powers to defeat Voldie once and for all.

NOTES: If I wanted to read a story about a live boy being raised by the dead, I'd reread Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book. It at least won the Newberry, and is amazing.

( I wonder if in the next few chapters anyone will mention how Edward resembles Cedric? )

Thanks to theeternalnoob for sending this Stu in to me!

TITLE: Reincarnetion Release Spell
PERPETRATOR: The Annoyed Demon Summoner
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Harry aka Gaara
SPECIES: Shinobi
HAIR: "redish brown"
EYES: "sky" blue and "Black had formed around his eyes"
MARKINGS: "Lighting bolt disappeared on his head and the love symbol appeared on the other side of his forehead", "There was a wierd seal on his stumick. It looked like a dimond with several weird symbols in and around it."
POSSESSIONS: pants, anger.

ORIGIN: "THe founders had put a spell on hogwarts to see if reincarnation was real. It is because five people in hogwarts are the rincarnation of several shinobi." and ""Everyone we have an interesting annocement to make. We recently found out that the founder sought to see if reincarnation was true so the placed a spell over the school. In a minutes if you are the reincarnation of someone you shall regain your old looks and memories back. It time,'' said Dumbledor before Draco, Harry, Ginny, and Neville suddenly fell to the ground withering in pain." "Magonigal" turns into Tsuande.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Was Harry Potter. He either killed Dumbeldore or tried to kill Crookshanks, it's really not clear.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: wandless magic, other kinds of skills that I'm sure is related to the Naruto canon.

NOTES: After the first chapter it rapidly becomes less and less of a Harry Potter crossover and just a Naruto fanfic. Plus, there is no real backstory or adequate descriptions given to help Harry Potter fans understand what the hell is going on.

( Now you can all see why I didn't know who Harry killed. )

Thanks to darth_gojira for today's Sue! We all knew this was coming one day...

TITLE: I'm Nick Jonas's Twin Sister and I'm A Witch
PERPETRATOR: soxxer12
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Kristy Jonas (aka you)
SPECIES: She's a witch! Didn't you read the title?
HAIR: "Dark Brown hair that goes a little past her shoulders" But where does it stop?
EYES: not described, brown?
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a wand: "10 inches,unicorn hair and cherry".

ORIGIN: She's Nick Jonas' twin sister. Again, didn't you read the title? Where do they come from? Disney.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: You and the Jonas brothers get to go to Hogwarts! Yay! I can just imagine Lav-Lav now... You bump into Harry in Diagon Alley. You are sorted into Gryffindor and become a member of the Golden Trio with Harry as your love interest.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Likes to write songs!

NOTES: If I wanted to read the books again I would just pick them out of my bookshelf. Argh!

( Read more... )

TITLE: Stuck In Middle Earth
PERPETRATOR: PopcornGirl-Eva
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger aka Lady Hermione
SPECIES: Elf-Witch
HAIR: "less bushy and easier to tame"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a pendant that her mother gave her, "a royal blue dress with white embroidery",

ORIGIN: Voldemort Crucios her and some hidden magic in her pendant sends her to Middle Earth. She is Lady Galadriel's youngest daughter. Is there some sort of fan-fic challenge going on right now about canon characters being Galadriel's kid?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Hermione Granger. She get's to join the fellowship.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Everyone loves her.

NOTES: I loved the part where Legolas laughed. I don't remember him laughing.

( Not only am I in Middle Earth, I'm an elf-princess! )

TITLE: Only Time Can Tell
PERPETRATOR: Lady Eriathwen
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Ginevra "Phoenix" "Ginbug" Weasley aka Aredhel Anwarünya
SPECIES: Elf
HAIR: "luscious fiery mahogany seemingly having a life of its own crowning atop her head cascading down to her waist". Someone please make a picture of this.
EYES: "emerald green to fiery purple tinged with what look like red and purple and hazelnut shade blended beautifully". Sounds like Skittle-vomit.
MARKINGS: 5'7", her freckles sparkle and she's tanned. She has an "ethereal glow".
POSSESSIONS: "black muggle clothes" which include a "sultry top", and "knee high leather boots". She has a "silver cloak" and "silky black bed sheets and a warm, thick comforter designed with lines of every shade of red possible".

ORIGIN: Was "lost" for a year, and presumed dead with the rest of her family. She is the daughter of Galadriel and Celeborn. Actually she was living in the Golden Woods of Lothlorien with mom and dad and Draco.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Shows up at Hogwarts and ignores everyone. She shares a dorm with Draco at Hogwarts. She has a brotherly connection to "Ice" aka Draco Malfoy. This character bears little to no resemblance to the real Draco Malfoy. Legolas is destined to be with Ginny. They are soul mates.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A gaze that can make Harry turn into the purplest of thinkers: "He gasped at how intense and different her gaze was, full of wisdom and maturity that was not present before". Wow. Wandless magic that Galadriel and Gandalf taught her. She can communicate with Draco telepathically.

NOTES: So on top of everything that I posted above, this came out of no where at the end of chapter 5: "Galadriel closed her eyes a smile grazed her lips.

“Yallume (At last),” she said. “Their fates are sealed. Their worlds are slowly intertwining. They will meet soon.”

“Who’s are, melamin?” Celeborn asked, watching his wife curiously. She opened her eyes and her smile grew bigger upon seeing her husband walk towards her from where she stood near her mirror.

“That of the young Prince Legolas Greenleaf… and of our daughter, Aredhel Anwarünya.”"

What?! Oh, if you could have seen my face...

( Stop frickin' shouting! )

Thanks to an anonymous minion for sending in today's Sue!

TITLE: Mid Night Desires
PERPETRATOR: SeleneMaeAysel
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Lily Luna Potter
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "long black hair was pulled back in an intricate bun"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: "special gloves" that keep her powers in control, a room decorated in Slytherin colours, an advanced Charms book, a digital watch, "black high heeled shoes", and "gold hoop earrings".

ORIGIN: Harry Potter did not marry Ginny Weasley. He married Brianne Riddle, Voldemort's daughter. Lily Luna is their daughter, and happens to be in love with a Cullen.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry's daughter, Voldemort's granddaughter. She is sorted into Slytherin. Voldemort didn't die, he was just "weakened", and his daughter, and granddaughter are Death Eaters. She is Voldemort's "gem" and he relies on her for many missions. She is one of the "most loved and most hated" students in Hogwarts, and she is seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team. Pansy and Draco's daughter, Daisy, hates her. Harry and his wife break-up, and the same day Voldemort "steps down" as the leader of the Death Eaters. He passes the leadership on to his two daughters, Bellona and Brianne. Lily acts angsty and decides that she does not want to stay in England. Her aunt offers to watch out for her and set up a "mini-headquarters" wherever Lily wants to live. After closing her eyes and pointing at a map, she discovers that she chose Forks, Washington. Obviously she is going to be paired with Edward, or Jasper, or Renesemee.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She has "some special powers that she had trouble controlling", especially when she is angry.

NOTES: Wow. This is full of lol-worthy drama. I highly recommend everyone read the whole story.

( Is there anymore critical information you want to bombard us with? )

I'm all caught up! Yay!

TITLE: Earthly Happenings
PERPETRATOR: Lear's Daughter
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Kara Starbuck Thrace
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: blonde?
EYES: as per BSG canon?
MARKINGS: tatoos as per BSG canon?
POSSESSIONS: just her flying gear. A feather bed in her "guest" quarters. A wand: "willow and dragon scale". Robes.

ORIGIN: Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica finds Earth, and ends up at Hogwarts. Yes, I did just write that. Yes this was written before the new season started.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Her viper blows up and she lands in Hogwarts. She meets Harry who takes her to Dumbledore. There he performs a spell that allows her to understand English. She flirts with Harry who is a grown man, and is the DADA professor. Snape stops them to ask some questions and she punches him out. Then she faces a Boggart to see if she is magical, after seeing the Adamas, she learns that she does have some magical ability, but not a lot. Harry takes her to Diagon Alley and buys her a wand and some robes, then she sees Snape in Knockturn Alley, and he hexes her. Harry is going to be paired with her, possibly?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Has an important destiny. Magically shows up at Hogwarts?

NOTES: I am quite surprised that this is the only BSG Sue I could find. Of course it had to be a Starbuck one, but really, she's not that far off from being a canon-Sue, am I right? Love the character but I had to point it out.

( I hate myself for not being able to rate this higher than 'bad'. )