Get your nominations in for the Golden Bubotubers!


TITLE: Catlike Green Eyes
PERPETRATOR: sakurayamakawa
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Catgirl/werecat
HAIR: "Long brown hair"
EYES: "glittering green orbs"
MARKINGS: retractable claws, "so sharp that they could slice glass".
POSSESSIONS: Remus' shirt

ORIGIN: Left over side effects from the Polyjuice Potion mistake leave Hermione as a catgirl.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Hermione Granger. Her parents are killed by Death eaters and after killing one of them, she runs from her house. A werewolf attacks. She wakes up at Lupin's house, where she discovers that she is not a normal werewolf, but a werecat. She also has a strong sexual attraction to Remus, who has a strong sexual attraction to her. But apparently it is the result of Hermione being in heat. They almost have sex, but then they are interrupted, and that's the end of the story as it hasn't been updated since 2005.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Retractable claws, excellent balance, great eyesight and sense of smell. After she was bit: super-healing powers, the ability to "speak werewolf". Goes into "heat'.

NOTES: This is a 10 chapter excuse to write porn, that is all.

( OOC Alert! )

TITLE: Kit
PERPETRATOR: Smexy-penguinXpruductionsX Classic.
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger aka Kit
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: brown and bushy, I assume.
EYES: big and brown, which cats don't have.
MARKINGS: "dark brown kitten with spots of orange and a few dark stripes and a bushy tail"
POSSESSIONS: Nothing, she's a cat.

ORIGIN: Ron accidentally turns her into a kitten, and she gets adopted by Draco Malfoy.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Hermione Granger. She will be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Appears to be content as a cat once Draco starts paying attention to her. She retains her human-mind despite being transfigured into a cat. We all know, from Tales of Beedle the Bard that that is not the case.

NOTES: You have to admire the creativity that Draco/Hermione writers have. They go to great lengths to make their characters get together.

( If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd have feelings for this cat. )

Thank you to the anonymous minion who sent in today's Sue!

TITLE: Make me wonder
PERPETRATOR: sweetwolf47
SUE-O-METER: (troll)

FULL NAME: Katherine aka "Kitty" aka You
SPECIES: "half cat demon, half vampire, and half fallen"
HAIR: red
EYES: purple
MARKINGS: 5'1". She has "cat ears and tail".
POSSESSIONS: a dark secret, cancer, a dog named bella, a hybrid, "a dark jeans and a black slipknot band tshirt with a messager [bag]", an ipod,

ORIGIN: Her dad and three other guys are trying to kill her because of her special magical powers. Her dad beats her, as well.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Feels that she's had a harder life than Harry Potter. She lives with Dumbledore. Despite being in sixth year, the Trio notice her existence just now. She dances to Britney Spears song on her ipod, and the new DADA Professors, Sirius and Remus, laugh at her dancing in the Great Hall. She has the hots for Lupin, but is going to be paired with Harry.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is a loner, not that anyone would want to be around her. She likes to dance alone in the Great Hall.

NOTES: Sometimes when it looks to good to be true, it probably is.

( And when the troll mentioned 'cancer' it's fate was sealed for me. )

Fanartcentral.net week continues. God help us all.

TITLE: Kitty Dumbledore 1st year-The Magic That Resides Within
PERPETRATOR: swampertgirl0504
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Katherine Mae Dumbledore aka "Kitty"
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "Purple, then in the sixth year it turns silver from sorrow when her Gdad dies, then gold at the end of the seventh year"
EYES: purple, but they change colour.
MARKINGS: Edit: Thanks to lovely_joy who found this photo Clearly Kitty has cat ears.
POSSESSIONS: After her grandfather's death, she inherits Hogwarts.

ORIGIN: Voldemort kills her family, but Dumbeldore shows up to stop him/collect her.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is Dumbledore's granddaughter. She showed magic very late as a child.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "As she gets older, her animorphus licac point cat ability form becomes stronger." What the fuck does that even mean? As a baby, she can stop the Avada Kadavra curse with wandless magic controlled by her eyes.

NOTES: I can't understand the desire to write other fan's OCs into your story. I just don't get it.

( So pink-eye stops Avada Kedavra? Interesting. )

Sue #1!

TITLE: Let's compare scars i'll tell you who's worse(Draco Malfoy)
PERPETRATOR: carmelpop2000
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Katherean (kath-er-een) "Kitty"
SPECIES: Catgirl
HAIR: "traight hair and goes past her waist and is normaly down"
EYES: "green eyes like a cat". Like my cats?
MARKINGS: "pale-ish skin", "as soon as she turned 13 she grew cat ears and a tail she can make them disapear & nobody knows but her mom and dad "
POSSESSIONS: "Red plaid pleated skirt that went about 3 inches above my knees and a black longsleeved corset top with red ribion", dresses at the Malfoys " in the colors i loved ( pink hot pink, green, lime green, black most of these have black on them and mybig red with black ribbons dress)", "black rasberry and vannila shampoo", "black and purple dress (its black with swirls of dark purple)".

ORIGIN: Has been going to Hogwarts all along.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Gets along with Draco, but not Pansy. "stays with draco every summer and winter break because her parnents are ashamed but draco once saw her kitty ears but yea" LOL WHAT? The Malfoys adore her, naturally.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "Pretty". It takes a lot of energy for her to stay in human form.

NOTES: I love how all of the "big discussion issues" are just sort of glossed over. This is not how you write a story.

( Enjoy losing the use of your eyes. )

It's my second anniversary! Wheeeee!!!

Thank you to purplecrow for sending in today's first Sue! I'm still working on that backlog! I haven't forgotten!

TITLE: Volpe
PERPETRATOR: Dark Angel- lonely traveler
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Lilly "Volpe" Black
SPECIES: Witch, "but with abilities no one else has"
HAIR: "dark green almost black hair"
EYES: "green eyes only a shade lighter than her hair",
MARKINGS: "pale white skin that seemed to glow", "ears of her demon fox form as well as its tail", "the reason she has her demon fox’s tail and ears is because she spent like a month in that form when her mother almost killed her when she was 12". ROFL!
POSSESSIONS: "shorts and a semi tight shirt",

ORIGIN: Her parents divorce, causing much angst. Some previously unknown sibling "Ken" gets to live with her father. "Lilly" stays with her mother, and they move to England. Her mother likes to hit her across the face causing her child to runaway. She is around the same age as Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Sirius Black's daughter. She shows up at "12 grimald(sp?) place", crying and covered in blood. "Poppy" levitates her upstairs, where she kicks everyone out of the room using wandless magic. Then, over three days, Lilly heals herself, puts on a new outfit, and pops downstairs to see her family. They have a touching reunion, and then she goes to rock out to "Family Portrait by Pink" and "Weasel Stomping Day by Weird Al", lyrics included, of course. Everyone reassures her that they all love her, even people like Harry and Hermione who it appears she has never had a conversation with. Then she is kidnapped and tortured by Voldemort.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Has self-taught herself magic, as she had been forbidden to attend Hogwarts. "Apparently Lily was the strongest wizard/which alive today. She also had healing powers and was a multiplo animagus which means she had multiple animagus forms. Lilly was a Black wolf with silver wings, a demon fox (all black fur with red eyes and six tails), a green phoenix,a falcon and a cobra." Wandless magic skills. She is "beautiful". She "I have a mate as soon as I see him we’ll both know and I’m the strongest witch or wizard alive today". She can sense what the abilities of others are; she tells Harry that he will be able to bring back the dead.

NOTES: The Suethor lets us know that she calls Dumbledore "Albus" because Dumbledore is too long to write. Also, I used the "catgirl" tag due to the presence of animal ears and a tail. I'm sure none of you mind, haha.

( I love the last line, it made me laugh so hard! )

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in today's first Sue!


TITLE: Soft Spot
PERPETRATOR: AnAnGeLiNbLaCk
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Cat Demon
HAIR: "raven", "a bit longer and wasn't as wild any more, but still disorderly"
EYES: "jade green"
MARKINGS: "had also lost a great deal of weight too, now looking as if he was nothing more than pale skin stretched over a gangely skeleton. Long hands that any pianist would envy...". A "elfin featured face". He has cat ears, a tail, and "sharp little fangs that clacked together with his lower teeth when he closed his mouth".
POSSESSIONS: A cat named Kasumi, it talks.

ORIGIN: Harry has some demon blood in him, and on his birthday he transforms into a cat demon.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape brings cat!Harry over to his place, where Harry is told about his true nature. Snape thinks he is cute, and Harry will be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Anything he thinks of he gets.

NOTES: This was very difficult to read, I think it has to be a mix of the prose and the subject.

( Creepiest Snape ever. )

TITLE: Cat's Moon
PERPETRATOR: balefullbrowneye
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Harry James Potter
SPECIES: Cat boy
HAIR: "his jet black hair had changed from its normal birds nest to a ‘just got shagged look’(one very reminiscent of a certain Sirius Black)"
EYES: "vivid unique emerald", "When not wearing his glamour his eyes varied colors. From emerald to black to emerald to black (and on occasion they turned this fetching shade of aquamarine...but Harry refused to get attached to them) and so on. They seemed to change depending on his mood and then again sometimes they would just change. Probably just to mock him. Oh and his pupils weren’t round anymore, they were more like slits. ‘Like the color thing wasn’t enough!’ he thought bitterly."
MARKINGS: Muscles, "His ears had a point at the top, closely resembling and elves ear but not quite", "His teeth were also, well, sharper. Not fangs, like a vampire, yet not human." "The tattoo was a full moon, three stars, two eyes (similar to his own except red), and pair of black wings. They were arranged in a certain way on his creamy skin. The moon was more to the left and the wings were spread to the right. Over lapping them were the two red eyes. On the bottom in an upside-down semi-circle shape was the three stars".
POSSESSIONS: contacts.

ORIGIN: On his sixteenth birthday, Harry starts undergoing a transformation that he does not understand. No, it's not puberty, he starts to become more cat-like.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry is tired of his friends, and admits that he puts on a "fake face" for them. He bitches at Ron and Hermione. He will be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Mood swings, constant cravings for sushi.

NOTES: This is One of the many plot devices to get Harry and Draco together. Why do most of them involve Harry secretly hating all of his canon friends, and some sort of Creature-fic? Why can't it be believable?

( You know, pregnant women didn't trademark mood swings. )

I've been saving this one for a day when I'm good and pissed off. *rubs hands together and cackles in a suitably evil fashion*

TITLE: Black to Silver (yes, sir, there's nothing like a good jewelry polish!)
PERPETRATOR: Ink Doodler

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Jade Embers (*snigger*). Formerly Harry Potter.
SPECIES: human/witch, though I'm really tempted to start putting 'taco show' in this field when these turn up. Later on, she becomes a catgirl.
HAIR: 'Long black hair fell down her back in a slightly messy fashion that made her look more wild than untidy', 'midnight black hair that curled slightly at the tips'. Later, 'Her once completely black hair now had silver streaks.'
EYES: 'large slightly slanted emerald green eyes', 'gourgeous vibrant green eyes'. Then later, 'Her eyes were now almost completely silver decorated with emerald markings.'
MARKINGS: lightning bolt scar. And she eventually grows cat ears: 'Her ears were still on the side of her head but looked like cat's ears. The ears were covered in a fine coat of silver fur.'
POSESSIONS: A musical jewelry box that belonged to Lily Evans, and assorted magical jewelry to keep in it. Contact lenses.

ORIGIN: Uh... Harry Potter had a bad dream - or possibly got lost and was forced to drink a potion - and woke up as a Mary-Sue. So they're pretending she's a transfer student... I guess so that the other students will think, "oh, it's okay, it's just another Sue." Is re-sorted into Slytherin. Another potion later, she becomes a catgirl.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Will probably end up with Draco, but Hermione seems to be thinking lesbian thoughts. Yay!
SPECIAL ABILITIES: So beautiful, she can seduce anybody. It actually says that. And when she becomes a catgirl, all her senses are enhanced.

NOTES: The writing is somewhat pretentious, and has it's share of odd grammar and strange spellings, but is good compared to some of the crap we see around here. It seems to start out with a plot, but all trace of that seems to have evaporated by chapter two, and we're back in familiar "oooh, you're a chick now, let's buy bras!" terretory. All that puts it at around 'awful', but as Taco Shows go, it really ain't bad.

Then in chapter eight, she starts turning into a catgirl, in accordance with some prophecy about a Sphinx Child who will chain the darkness. Now it earns a 'toxic'.

SAMPLE: ( Lesbian Hermione - Hooray! )

--

( And Here's The Catgirl Chapter. I Couldn't Choose. )

And a very happy holiday to all my loyal minions! I wondered if I could do something special for you all, and I thought, "hmm... maybe since it's Christmas, I won't post a Sue today... that'll give my minions a day off being miniony, and spare some poor wangsty Sue author from having her Christmas ruined by a lot of people mocking her."

Then I thought, "nah."

Merry Christmas and Happy Sue Year. ^_^

TITLE: Harry Potter and the Queen of Ice
PERPETRATOR: Jasie Song

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: there are two... one is just called Yabby, and the other is 'Sheranaqua Selene Smith' (*snerk*)
SPECIES: human/witches
HAIR: Yabby is currently stuck in the form of a grey-furred cat. Sheranaqua's (*snerk*) hair is not described.
EYES: Sheranaqua (*snerk*) has grey eyes. Yabby's aren't described.
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: Yabby tried to become an animagus, turned into a cat, and couldn't turn back. Sherenaqua is some random girl she goes to for help.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Making instant friends with the Weasley twins.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Yabby seems to be almost an animagus. Sheranaqua (*snerk*) is a witch and didn't know about it, didn't get a Hogwarts letter, and apparently speaks 'felitonque', the cat language... that's a new one... oh, and she can do all kinds of nifty wandless magic.

NOTES: For some reason I forgot to do new notes for this Sue. And now that I realize I have to, I'm too tired to think of anything to say, besides the following:

'Sheranaqua'.

*snerk*

SAMPLE: ( 'The Ugly Curse'... Can We Use That On More Sues, Please? )

I've been putting this one off a while now... I figured I'd drag it out and keep up the 'truly dreadful' streak I'm on.

TITLE: In a cat's eye!
PERPETRATOR: KazenoYama ('Mountain of Wind'?)

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Kasumi
SPECIES: Catwoman. I suppose it was only a matter of time...
HAIR: 'a full head on long wavy auburn hair that fell past it's hips'
EYES: 'blue eyes. They were a strange icy color that seemed to stare right though him'
MARKINGS: She has fur. 'It had cat like feet with claws that dug into the wood as it tried to hold itself up. Its nose was a tiny little black cat nose and it had two golden brown ears on it's head, it had a full head on long wavy auburn hair that fell past it's hips. The woman was covered in short golden brown fur and it had a long tail with a tuft of blond fur on the end.'
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: The pits of hell. Harry and somebody named 'Sasha' find her in the woods after they're told a story about a strange catwoman hanging around.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: none mentioned
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She shape-shifts - she's able to make herself look like a normal human being. But then, all Sues can do that...

NOTES: When I consider the author's name, it occurs to me that perhaps she had her word order mixed up, and might've been going for something along the line of 'wind of the mountains'. Which is, actually, what the Hawaiian word keanu means, so maybe this person was trying to name herself after Keanu Reeves, but in Japanese.

Then I thought, "nah".

SAMPLE: ( WTF?! )