Last day of Blaise Zabini week - only one more theme week to go!

TITLE: Blaise
PERPETRATOR: Eilynne

SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Blaise Zambini
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: Not described - being as this was apparently inspired by She Who Must Not Be Named, I'm guessing red.
EYES: I would guess green, for the same reason as above.
MARKINGS: 'the prettiest girl in Slytherin'
POSESSIONS: The best notes in Slytherin.

ORIGIN: We all know who fanon!Blaise is by now, right? This one seems inordinately familiar with Muggle life, as Slytherins go...
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The usual, plus Draco likes to copy her notes.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: None so far besides amazing note-taking skills that all the boys envy.

NOTES: This isn't terribly Sueish thus far, really... what it is is incredibly fanonical.

She!Blaise? Check.

DarkPrinceOfLove!Draco? Check.

Ho!Pansy? Check.

Draco Trilogy as canon? Check.

There's no Chapter Two, but if there were, I'm sure it would have Quidditch-toned muscles in there somewhere.

The author's note is funny, though... if you can't tell who I'm referring to as She Who Must Not Be Named up there, read the sample.

SAMPLE: ( How Does That Random 'M' Keep Getting Into 'Zabini', Anyway? )

My day today can be nicely summed up in one painful word: sunburn. Ow, ow, ow...

TITLE: The Serpent Apprentice
PERPETRATOR: Morbane - elsewhere she calls herself 'Morbane Zyzadne'. How the hell do you pronounce 'Zyzadne'?

SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Blaise Zabini
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'straight, lank black hair'
EYES: 'dark eyes'
MARKINGS: 'She hoped her face didn’t give her away like theirs did; she tried to keep it blank and cool, especially when faced with annoyances'. Whatever that means.
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: Random She!Blaise who doesn't fit in with the other Slytherins. Yawn.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Same as all the other Blaise-Sues.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Dreaming randomly about dragons, and making the Sorting Hat speak in rhymes.

NOTES: Boring.

SAMPLE: ( Nothing We Haven't Seen Before )

ironychan tells me she's working on another Sue shirt... which, unlike my pathetic text-only efforts, will have an actual illustration on it. So watch this space.

TITLE: The Quiet Ones (isn't that how the neighbours always describe guys who flew off the handle one day and shot their wives and kids? "I dunno, he was always so quiet...")
PERPETRATOR: Lyta Padfoot (sister of Darka Padfoot?)

SUE-O-METER: (good)

FULL NAME: Blaise Zabini
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'As it was summer and magic was forbidden, she could not charm her hair into a neat chignon as she did at school and the wispy blond strands kept escaping to tickle the back of her neck.'
EYES: hazel
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: Just another femme!Blaise, who along with her friend Alan Nott decides to take Draco down a few pegs.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: You know this bit.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: none mentioned.

NOTES: Wow indeed... for starters, this is an author who actually likes Slytherins for being Slytherins and doesn't try to make them into delicately angsty goths. Blaise and Alan are intelligent, ambitious, and crafty - exactly what Slytherins are supposed to be - and detest the fact that their house has a reputation for being home to a lot of unsubtle I-4M-73H-3B1L types... said reputation being mostly Draco Malfoy's fault. So they set out to take him down a few pegs.

The fic starts off decidedly Sueish with 'oh, look at me, I'm so unlike the other Slytherins!' Blaise, but picks up quickly after that, and as of the end of chapter two I'm sufficiently hooked to forgive it a few abuses of canon. Excuse me now, I'm going to go read the rest of it... something I rarely do with our feature of the day.

Oh, and I find the idea of there being a Harry Potter Chocolate Frog Card immensely amusing. That is all.

SAMPLE: ( 'She Turned Me Into A Sue!' 'A Sue?' 'Well, I Got Better...' )

And today's schedule demands late-Sue. Ain't work great?

TITLE: Princess of the Darkness (a Sue title if I ever heard one)
PERPETRATOR: Blaise A. Snape (this is not good. Not good at all.)

SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Blaise Lestrange-Zabini
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: The daughter of the Lestranges (or at least, of some Lestranges - their names are apparently Nikolai and Lydia), adopted by the Zabinis after her real parents went to Azkaban. At the end of 7th year she, like most 17-year-olds, angsts a bunch about not knowing what she wants to do with her life. Then Snape asks her to be his apprentice.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Based on the author's handle, I'm somehow guessing she'll end up married to Snape.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: none mentioned.

NOTES: The POV shifts back and forth between Blaise and Snape, but at least it's done chapter-by-chapter, which makes it a bit less annoying than doing it bam in the middle of a scene. In fact, this is all-around the least annoying Blaise-Sue so far.

SAMPLE: ( Look, Ma - When I Angst, The Answers Drop Right Into My Lap! )

The vagarities of my work schedule today demand Uber-Early-Sue.

TITLE: Glass Dragon (read the TOS, Sue Author - Irene Radford does not allow fanfic!)
PERPETRATOR: Le Chat Qui Garde La Lune (furthermore, using French in your username does not make you cool.)

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Blaise Zabini-Malfoy
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'dark haired'
EYES: 'Her most intriguing feature were her eyes, which, for unknown reasons (supposedly a birth defect) changed color along with her mood.' That statement really made me start to hope this one might be intentional...
MARKINGS: Besides the freaky-ass eyes, none.
POSESSIONS: Draco.

ORIGIN: She doesn't know who her parents are, but was brought up by the Malfoys (who are really nice people! No, seriously!). I'm betting her father is Voldemort.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: The usual.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Floating in midair above Draco's bed. Going to Hogwarts Preschool (?) and Durmstrang Summer School (?!)

NOTES: There's a bonus-Sue in the form of an apparent relative of Snape who has become headmistress of Durmstrang. And one named Madrigal, who's just sort of there. And none of it makes sense.

The blatantness of the colour-changing eyes still makes me hope it's some lame attempt at parody. It would be a lot funnier if she didn't have to remind us of it every six sentences.

SAMPLE: ( Nonsense, Colour-Changing Eyes, and Random Pansy-Bashing )

I was in an RP once in which everybody thought Blaise Zabini was a girl, but then there was a massive scandle when it came out that he was actually a transvestite. That was funny.

hprpsues informs me that there's also one on greatestjournal in which Blaise is a metamorphmagus and can switch gender at will. That amuses me, too.

Both are more amusing than this fanfic.

TITLE: Behind her Eyes (so this is a fic about her optic nerves?)
PERPETRATOR: SomeEvilKid (too easy)

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Blaise Zabini
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'dark red hair… not like Ron’s but deeper.. Like a cherryish colour.'
EYES: 'Harry saw two honey coloured orbs looking at him. They looked so transparent but so secretive.' Transparent eyes... hence the title?
MARKINGS: 'She looked… different this year, because Harry never saw her look so beautiful.' Oh, geeze, not another makeover-Sue...
POSESSIONS: Breasts. And Harry.

ORIGIN: I dunno, she's just there, and suddenly Harry's lusting after her.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: We all know this one.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Making Harry forget all about his hatred of Slytherins just by passing him a 'meet me in the astronomy tower at midnight' note.

NOTES: Y'know, I gotta wonder about the astronomy tower at midnight there. Aren't there likely to be people there at midnight? Since, y'know, the astronomy tower is for looking at the stars, and those don't tend to be out during the day.

That RP with the transvestite Blaise also had a paranoid Professor Sinistra who would hide out and try to catch kids sneaking up into his tower for trysts. It really was awesome.

SAMPLE: ( Who Needs Character Developsment Anyway? )

This week is Blaise Zabini Week.

TITLE: The Life and Times of a Girl Named Blaise Zabini
PERPETRATOR: Rosy the Cat (apparently, over-use of line breaks is a feline trait. Who knew?)

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Blaise Zabini-Thurandilion. Oh, yes.
SPECIES: Elf/Witch. Oh, yes.
HAIR: not described. I'm guessing it's blonde.
EYES: not described, possibly blue.
MARKINGS: It doesn't mention pointy ears one way or the other, and I'm too scared to guess.
POSESSIONS: An 'heirloom sword' of some description.

ORIGIN: She's Legolas' granddaughter and doesn't belong in Slytherin - the hat only put her there because it's where all the Zabinis go.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is impersonating a canon character, with the addition of boobs.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is 'really smart' and would be the best student in her year were it not for that bitch Granger.

NOTES: What the hell does 'blarg' mean, anyway?

SAMPLE: ( Blaise Zabini Was A Mary-Sue... )