It seems to be pretty common knowledge that nothing can be considered to have a real fandom until somebody has crossed it over with Gundam Wing.

Would anybody out there happen to have any theories about why?

TITLE: Heero Potter?
PERPETRATOR: Ashly

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Heero Potter, or 'Hee-chan'
SPECIES: Human/Wizard
HAIR: not described
EYES: 'Prussian'. Is 'blue' not a fancy enough word for the Mary-Sue author? 'Drop dead gorgeous eyes'
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: So Heero is Harry Potter's long-lost twin brother or something (the author claims that Lily was Japanese O.o), and he and the other Gundam pilots are being sent to Hogwarts to protect the students, because OZ and Voldemort have joined forces. Yeah, this is all so plausible.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: 'Heero Potter'
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Under the circumstances, I'd say magical powers count.

NOTES: Note To Self: Titles that end in question marks are a bad, bad sign.

Normally I limit myself to Sues, not Stus, but in this fic, Heero is so often referred to as 'beautiful' that I have made an exception. Consider Heero an honourary woman for the occasion.

SAMPLE: ( Chapter Two: Worst. Flashback. Sequence. Ever. Oh, And Be Glad I Cut Off All The 'Review Thanks' At The Beginning. )

I had somebody offer to do drawings of those gods of fanfiction from yesterday... would anybody object to their ending up in icons and on T-shirts?

Anyway... yet another poor square peg of an anime is shoved into the round hole that is the Potterverse. Today the unfortunate victim is Fruits Basket, which never did anything to anybody and really doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.

TITLE: A Year at Hogwarts (at least this person can spell 'Hogwarts')
PERPETRATOR: Kissa-chan

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Tohru Honda
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described; brown
EYES: not described; hazel green
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: Akito's respect. Since when did Tohru have that?

ORIGIN: Okay, this is really very weird; it seems that 'due to the strange events at the beach house the year before', the various members of the zodiac, plus Akito and Tohru and her two friends, were turned into small children. What happened? Why? How? The author does not explain. Wouldn't it have been less annoying to just say this is an AU?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: None so far.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: none... not even Tohru's normal 1337 5k!115 for understanding people.

NOTES: Which deity do we pray to in order to beg for double-spacing between paragraphs? Is that Grammatica or Formatalus?

SAMPLE: ( Does This Make Any Sense To YOU People? )

The past couple of days, the Sues have not been half bad... the most annoying thing about them has been the nagging question of why anybody would bother writing them in the first place. So let's have a real nasty one, shall we?

TITLE: Sakura's Hogworts Adventure
PERPETRATOR: Water Lily3 (the numbering begins!)

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Lily Li (that's right... the Sue is NOT Sakura)
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'shoulder length blond hair'
EYES: 'crystal blue eyes'
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: A pet fox kit. Whatever happened to an owl OR a cat OR a toad?

ORIGIN: Sayoran's sister.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Sakura's new best friend.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: none so far, but I had to skim... when you read the sample, you'll see why.

NOTES: That's right... 'Hogworts'. I actually found more crossovers by searching under 'Hogworts' than by using the correct spelling. Oh, and not only are the only line breaks in the entire thing the ones in the song lyrics in the first chapter, by chapter three the author has said that even she doesn't like the fic, but is continuing it because her reviewers kept begging her for more.

If this fic has a redeeming feature, it's that Lily seems to be a secondary character; the story is mainly based around Sakura. Let us sing praises to the gods of fanfiction.

Does anybody want to name the gods of fanfiction? It's always nice to know who you're sacrificing to.

SAMPLE: ( See Why I Skimmed? )

The Sue will be early tonight, because I need to get to bed early.

TITLE: Hogwarts (short and to the point)
PERPETRATOR: Uri-Mistress

SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Kagome Higarashi
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described; black
EYES: 'But her eyes made a sickening feeling jump in his stomach. Her eyes were a pasty gray-blue, with no feeling and no life, it was as if she had risen from the dead.'
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: A jewel she wears around her neck... it's apparently posessing her and making her suicidal. This is so absurdly obvious that I want to beat the characters over the head for acting like it's a big mystery. Oh, and a 'worg'. If this is also a LotR crossover, I might just find myself forced to commit terrible and violent murder.

ORIGIN: 'Exchange Student from Japan', which is only marginally more original than 'Exchange Student from America'.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: none so far. Let's keep it that way.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Freaking everybody out. Talking about herself in the third person. Being impossible to sort. Magical 'worg'-taming abilities.

NOTES: Exactly why is this fic set in the Potterverse? So far, the story offers no clues. Points for having an actual plot (no matter how lame), which unfortunately had to be immediately removed again due to distressing OOC-ness.

SAMPLE: ( The Confused Sorting Hat Is Rapidly Becoming My Biggest HPfic Pet Peeve. )

Hot. Boiling. Baking. Need. Slurpee. Now.

TITLE: Tears of a Phoenix
PERPETRATOR: Chibigreen Tanuki (picture that. It's amusing)

SUE-O-METER: (okay)

FULL NAME: Miaka Yuuki
SPECIES: Human/Witch/Most Bloody Annoying Canon Character Ever, Bar None
HAIR: not described; brown
EYES: not described; green-brown
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: A wand. "Apple, eleven and a half inches, bendy." I'm betting phoenix feather.

ORIGIN: Miaka, her brother, his best friend, Yui, all the seishi, and a dozen other random Fushigi Yuugi characters are going to Hogwarts! This author admits that there are magic schools in Japan, but claims that people from Tokyo go to Hogwarts 'because it's safer'.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: none by the end of chapter two, which is where I stopped reading, having realized that they next few chapters were going to be doing the whole 'shopping trip' thing I'm so damn sick of hearing about. Please, please, don't let Fawkes turn out to be Suzaku. I beg the kind and generous gods of fanfiction, I beg them on bended knee... don't let Fawkes turn out to be Suzaku!
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Amazing disappearing, reappearing English fluency... in chapter two she drinks a potion to let her understand English properly, but before that, she understands it or not according to the author's current whim.

NOTES: At least the characterizations are not totally horrible. The author had people voting on which house the seishi end up in.

SAMPLE: ( What Voldemort Has To Do With This Crossover Goes Unexplained. )

God, it's been hot here the last month... hot and dry, which is possibly the reason we've got an infestation of grasshoppers the size of fucking lipsticks.

I found two Slayers/Harry Potter crossovers... one was absolutely horrible and one was really very good. I picked the horrible one. If anybody's interested, the good one is here.

My apologies to tears_priestess... but you guys do make funny noises when your brains break. ^_^

TITLE: If The Slayers Were Wizards
PERPETRATOR: Zarmina

SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Lina Inverse
SPECIES: Human/Sorceress
HAIR: not described, but we know it's red
EYES: not described, also red
MARKINGS: none mentioned, two small moles high on her forehead
POSESSIONS: none mentioned

ORIGIN: The Slayers are in modern-day England, are mysteriously familiar with the potterverse, and are going to Hogwarts! Why? Who cares!
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: none
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Well, she's Lina Inverse... we all know what that means. Now, if she were only in character...

NOTES: This isn't really a Mary-Sue, I suppose... but man, does it suck. It's in annotated script format. Ow, ow, ow.

SAMPLE: ( There's A Big Difference Between 'Characterization' And 'Caricaturization'. )

Bad Anime Crossover week begins with a Hitomi-Sue!

TITLE: The Magic Within Thy Blood
PERPETRATOR: Enzeru no Yami (can anybody translate that for me?)

SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Lady Hitomi Kanzaki de Fanel
SPECIES: Human/Witch/Seeress
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none
POSESSIONS: I suppose her pendant might count, but it's never mentioned.

ORIGIN: Okay, let me see here... so Hitomi is the daughter of a wizard who lives in Britain. She went to Hogwarts and was a Gryffindor, and her little brother, Mamoru, is now one, too. At the age of 18, she's married to Van and they have nasty sex in weird places in the palace at all hours of the day and night while discussing politics. One day she suddenly recieves a letter from Hogwarts asking her to become the new DADA teacher.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Draco's older brother, Zilas, is lusting after her.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Some jealousy issues that she and Van should probably both seek counselling for.

NOTES: If you just read the first chapter of this, it begins to sound like a somewhat interesting - if a bit poorly-written - Escaflowne AU. In fact, if the author had found a beta-reader, cut the hysterical sex scenes, and continued the storyline about the dragon's nest and the possible war, this might not have been a bad story at all.

Unfortunately, after that half-decent buildup, the word 'Hogwarts' appears. From there it's all downhill.

SAMPLE: ( Hot, Nasty Sex In The Throne Room! )