Thanks to the lovely minion that sent in today's Sue!
TITLE: Lydia's Love Potion
PERPETRATOR: odddoll
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Lydia Kent aka Miss Phoenix aka Phoenix
SPECIES: Muggleborn, was believed to be a muggle until her wizarding boss saw her do magic.
HAIR: long, an ordinary shade of brown
EYES: green
MARKINGS: She is 5’1". "She had a woman’s figure, with ample cleavage, but the sight of it was usually blocked from above by the view of the part in her hair." A crooked smile. Her healing applies to all parts of her body, so she can be a technical virgin again and again. She admits this to Dumbledore and McGonagal while trying to find a virgin to get some unicorn blood.
POSSESSIONS: A cape that she uses a cooling charm on. A "long, lavender dress, with three-quarter sleeves and a shallow neckline", she hopes it gives her "the appearance of innocence and propriety". A magical pocket watch. She loves "whimsical clothing, flowing skirts and sleeves, funky hats, period pieces, and costumes". For interviews with the female professors she wore long gowns, for the men she wore dresses and "a skin-tight top that had short sleeves and a scoop neck, and was cropped to show her midriff. Her skirt clung to her hips and flared to a feminine swirl below the knee".
ORIGIN: Dumbledore agrees to protect her, so she shows up at Hogwarts one summer. She needs protection because she doesn't age and that Voldemort would try and learn her secret. Voldemort's stupid, clearly it is the result of regular use of Oil of Olay! Voldemort kidnapped her and killed her husband 14 years before, she escaped by faking her death, but her son recognized her about a year ago. Now she has to go into hiding.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She distrusts Filch, Voldemort kidnapped her, her son is a Death Eater. During her interviews at Hogwarts, all the teacher's like her, except Professor Sinistra. Sinistra reminds "Phoenix" of Voldemort. Snape does not like her at first, but then she gives him a love potion. Snape drinks it and feels it's effects. They don't hook up just yet, so Snape has to quench his thirst manually. Snape is going to take her on as an apprentice. The Slytherins bully her. She uses her healing powers on a student. She finds out that Snape is a virgin. Apparently, Snape dissects her newborn daughter, and she sleeps with him, again. And then the Death Eaters make him rape someone and she wants to chat about their relationship. Then the unicorns come out to dance around her. I gave up before I got to those last two sentences.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can see Thestrals, is amazing at potions, is immortal. She is described as "intelligent, hard-working and her character is flawless". The "phenomenon" that keeps her young also grants her the ability to heal. What can she heal? Well, I'll let her tell you in her own words:
"I can cure just about anything: cancer, maiming, blindness, every disease known to man, any deformity that is caused by illness or injury. The nature of the healing is to restore the body to the height of maturity and perfect health. Unfortunately, though, it is a rather slow process, and sometimes in a life-threatening situation I need the added boost of standard medical practises to save a life."
She can speak "Both Modern and Mediaeval French and Italian, Old English, a smattering of Gaelic and Greek, a bit of Spanish". She thinks transfiguration is cruel to the animals. She transfigures using an Ancient Greek method. She has seen all sorts of diseases, even the plague. She ran a cotton plantation once, probably when she lived" on a teensy little place outside ah Narlens." She coaches Snape about potions.
NOTES: This Sue is very conceited. She goes on and on about all the great things she has done. She recounts her achievements:
She voted in the very first election after women were granted suffrage, standing outside the polling places in the early morning hours with the neighbour women, to be the first to cast her vote. She went to medical school, and received a piece of paper to legitimise the work she had done for a very long time with little pay and no recognition. In the twenties, she bobbed her hair and wore short dresses that showed her knees, and were cool and so easy to move in. In the thirties she wore silk trousers, and in the forties and fifties she adopted mannish suits and two-piece bathing suits that exposed more than they covered.
Phoenix danced on the beach during warm summer days in the sixties, wearing denim miniskirts, crocheted bikini tops and nothing else. She let strange young men paint designs on her body, and made love in smoky back rooms to the sound of rock music and the moans of other couples nearby, or some scholar discussing communism and the merits of LSD. She would return home after her decadent weekends a bit saddened by the way a whole generation tried to throw their lives away, but she knew things would swing back to more conservative trends. They always did.
It's like a Heritage Minute in a story!
( I just had to stop. )
TITLE: Lydia's Love Potion
PERPETRATOR: odddoll
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic) FULL NAME: Lydia Kent aka Miss Phoenix aka Phoenix
SPECIES: Muggleborn, was believed to be a muggle until her wizarding boss saw her do magic.
HAIR: long, an ordinary shade of brown
EYES: green
MARKINGS: She is 5’1". "She had a woman’s figure, with ample cleavage, but the sight of it was usually blocked from above by the view of the part in her hair." A crooked smile. Her healing applies to all parts of her body, so she can be a technical virgin again and again. She admits this to Dumbledore and McGonagal while trying to find a virgin to get some unicorn blood.
POSSESSIONS: A cape that she uses a cooling charm on. A "long, lavender dress, with three-quarter sleeves and a shallow neckline", she hopes it gives her "the appearance of innocence and propriety". A magical pocket watch. She loves "whimsical clothing, flowing skirts and sleeves, funky hats, period pieces, and costumes". For interviews with the female professors she wore long gowns, for the men she wore dresses and "a skin-tight top that had short sleeves and a scoop neck, and was cropped to show her midriff. Her skirt clung to her hips and flared to a feminine swirl below the knee".
ORIGIN: Dumbledore agrees to protect her, so she shows up at Hogwarts one summer. She needs protection because she doesn't age and that Voldemort would try and learn her secret. Voldemort's stupid, clearly it is the result of regular use of Oil of Olay! Voldemort kidnapped her and killed her husband 14 years before, she escaped by faking her death, but her son recognized her about a year ago. Now she has to go into hiding.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She distrusts Filch, Voldemort kidnapped her, her son is a Death Eater. During her interviews at Hogwarts, all the teacher's like her, except Professor Sinistra. Sinistra reminds "Phoenix" of Voldemort. Snape does not like her at first, but then she gives him a love potion. Snape drinks it and feels it's effects. They don't hook up just yet, so Snape has to quench his thirst manually. Snape is going to take her on as an apprentice. The Slytherins bully her. She uses her healing powers on a student. She finds out that Snape is a virgin. Apparently, Snape dissects her newborn daughter, and she sleeps with him, again. And then the Death Eaters make him rape someone and she wants to chat about their relationship. Then the unicorns come out to dance around her. I gave up before I got to those last two sentences.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can see Thestrals, is amazing at potions, is immortal. She is described as "intelligent, hard-working and her character is flawless". The "phenomenon" that keeps her young also grants her the ability to heal. What can she heal? Well, I'll let her tell you in her own words:
"I can cure just about anything: cancer, maiming, blindness, every disease known to man, any deformity that is caused by illness or injury. The nature of the healing is to restore the body to the height of maturity and perfect health. Unfortunately, though, it is a rather slow process, and sometimes in a life-threatening situation I need the added boost of standard medical practises to save a life."
She can speak "Both Modern and Mediaeval French and Italian, Old English, a smattering of Gaelic and Greek, a bit of Spanish". She thinks transfiguration is cruel to the animals. She transfigures using an Ancient Greek method. She has seen all sorts of diseases, even the plague. She ran a cotton plantation once, probably when she lived" on a teensy little place outside ah Narlens." She coaches Snape about potions.
NOTES: This Sue is very conceited. She goes on and on about all the great things she has done. She recounts her achievements:
She voted in the very first election after women were granted suffrage, standing outside the polling places in the early morning hours with the neighbour women, to be the first to cast her vote. She went to medical school, and received a piece of paper to legitimise the work she had done for a very long time with little pay and no recognition. In the twenties, she bobbed her hair and wore short dresses that showed her knees, and were cool and so easy to move in. In the thirties she wore silk trousers, and in the forties and fifties she adopted mannish suits and two-piece bathing suits that exposed more than they covered.
Phoenix danced on the beach during warm summer days in the sixties, wearing denim miniskirts, crocheted bikini tops and nothing else. She let strange young men paint designs on her body, and made love in smoky back rooms to the sound of rock music and the moans of other couples nearby, or some scholar discussing communism and the merits of LSD. She would return home after her decadent weekends a bit saddened by the way a whole generation tried to throw their lives away, but she knew things would swing back to more conservative trends. They always did.
It's like a Heritage Minute in a story!
( I just had to stop. )
Current Mood:
worried
Current Music: The Hour
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