Current mood:	confused
Current music:	My own laughter ringing in my ears
Entry tags:	awful

Thankfully the author of Stars and the Moon is far more level-headed and thick-skinned than her readers. I tip my hat to you.

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in today's Sue!


TITLE: Our First Year Of Hogwarts
PERPETRATOR: icecream401
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Emily Fosen and Haley Marie Grant
SPECIES: Witches
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: Emily has a scar.
POSSESSIONS: Emily: a Hogwarts letter. Haley: a "lame'o journal", Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

ORIGIN: Emily was orphaned the same night Harry was. Haley appears to a crossover from the muggle world. They live with Harry and his "stupid" family. Believed to be crack!fic.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Haley thinks Harry is stupid, he kisses her on the cheeks. Tonks and Remus collect the three of them to take them to Hogwarts. It is Haley and Emily's first year there. They are sorted into Gryffindor and both have feelings for Harry. Then Harry and Emily plummet from the tower, but they'll be ok. Then she witnesses the birth of Tonks and Lupin's child.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Emily has a beautiful singing voice. Haley makes predictions.

NOTES: I really have no idea what's going on in this story. Although, there is a hilarious "birth scene" in Chapter 17. It contains gems such as: "I watched Tonks trying to push the baby out of her, but I got bored of that." and "The healer wasn’t there. Apparently, the healer just left the Lupin and Tonks family, because the previous mother had an experience. So, the previous mother would help her daughter have the baby, and if there was a problem, then, the healer would come back.". LOL WUT?!


SAMPLE:

After lunch, we all headed to Astronomy. Since lunch was from twelve until one thirty, we had Double Astronomy. Double periods are two hours, perfect timing for my prediction.

Emily didn’t seam to mind. She probably forgot overnight that she was possibly going to fall off the Astronomy Tower at three thirty in the afternoon.

Finally, it was three-fifteen. Emily had to go over to the window to look at the sky to see if she saw any of the planets. “I need to get closer.” she said, and put her feet out the window. Professor Synistra, the Astronomy teacher, was working with a student, so, Emily stood up on the ledge. Oh, no, I thought, she’ll be falling off soon.

My wish came true. The first thing that happened was that Emily was standing out on the edge of the ledge. There was a sharp rock on the edge of the ledge. She stepped on the rock, howled in pain, and fell, almost a hundred feet out the window. Harry went down after her and fell almost a hundred feet after one of his best friends. I just stood there stunned, thinking that, two dead bodies laying on the side of the Astronomy Tower. But no…my prediction said that they would either be in St. Mungo’s, or at Tonks and Lupin’s. And if they were at Tonks and Lupin’s all three of us would be staying for Christmas and New Year’s. If they were both at St. Mungo’s, Tonks and Lupin would let us—all three of us—stay at their house for the holidays—Christmas and New Year’s—anyways.

I ran over to Professor Synistra and told her what had happened. Before I knew it, I was running down the spiral staircase and bumping into Dumbledore. I told him what had happened and he sent an owl to Lupin and Tonks.

So, I was waiting outside of Dumbledore’s office, waiting for Tonks and Lupin to come out, when I saw two lifeless-looking bodies, hovering over to me. It was Emily, followed by Harry, and supported by a healer from the hospital.

As the healer came closer, I could see the pale, round face of Emily Fosen, and the dark-haired moron of Harry Potter.

All of the air seamed to rush from my lungs, like it was going on a vacation, and it wouldn’t return for quite a while.

“Are they going to be okay?” I asked the healer.

“They’ll be fine.” she answered, swiftly, and put the stretchers on the ground, just as Lupin and Tonks came rushing over, Lupin’s face was set and white.

“Haley!” cried out Tonks. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I’m alright, thanks.” I said. “However, I knew this was going to happen,” I admitted, “I made a prediction and they just fell at the right time. I didn’t mean to…to….” I couldn’t take it any longer. I ran over to Emily and cried. The healer patted me on the head and said that they were going to be fine, but, I couldn’t believe her. After all this, what was there to believe?

“I’ll disapperate with them and I’ll take them to the hospital.” she said.

“Thank you.” said Lupin. “Tonks, I think the baby is ready to come out.”

“Yeah. I think so, too, Remus.”

“Let’s get that baby out, shall we?” said Lupin.

“I think you’re supposed to get examined first, at the time of twenty-weeks. They see how the baby is and if it’s a boy or a girl.” I said.

“You know a lot, don’t you?” asked the healer.

“Yup. Thank you for noticing.” I said back to her.

“Well, we don’t have that, however, I’ve delivered babies before. We do them at the patient’s house.” said the healer.

“Oh…what are you going to do?” I asked.

“We’ll put her on the bed, ask Tonks to push for about an hour or so, and then the baby will be out.”

“Let’s go, then, my stomach’s hurting…ow…really…ow…bad…ow!” yelled Tonks.

“Sweatheart!” gasped Lupin. “C’mon, let’s go back to our house. You’ll be pushing in no time at all, sweaty-pie.”

“Thanks, Remus, starlight.” said Tonks. “If I faint on the way there, it’s only because I’m nervous. The same theing happened to my mother when she had me.”

“Same with my mom.” said Lupin.

“We’ll get these two back to St. Mungo’s.” said the healer.

“Great,” I said. “wonderful!”

After going by portkey, again, Lupin helped Tonks to their bed, while the healer put paper between her legs. “Just push really hard, for me, Nymphadora.” the healer said.

“It hurts, really bad, Remus!” said Tonks, pushing as hard as she could, “you’re lucky you’re not a girl.”

“I know.” said Lupin, smiling slightly.