Potter Sue of the Day ([info]pottersues) wrote,
@ 2009-04-24 13:49:00
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Current mood: chipper
Current music:My neice chatting with me
Entry tags:dead and alive, related to harry, toxic

Thanks to an anonymous minion for sending in today's second Sue!

TITLE: Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone: my version
PERPETRATOR: Forevercountry
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Faith Lily Potter aka Faith Lily Windrift
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: like Lily's
EYES: "a hazel mixed with blue"
MARKINGS: a mark/tatoo that Death gave her that says "Semper Fidelis" with a cross.
POSSESSIONS: a baby phoenix that has a connection to her. It's named Snowfire.

ORIGIN: She was a premature stillborn birth; Harry had to "stay in the womb" for a bit longer. While Lily is holding her body, a heartbeat starts and then Faith glows. Then Death shows up and not!dead newborn Faith has a chat with him. No one is to know she is alive to protect Harry and herself. Is raised by the "Windrift" family.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Harry's twin sister. Becomes friends with Hermione as a child.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Comes back to life. Talk and walks at birth. Is a Seer. She is more powerful than any witch or wizard that has ever lived and will become more powerful as she grows.

NOTES: This story made me think of creating a "What the shit is this?" rating. But really, aren't all "toxics" like that?


SAMPLE:

October, 31, 1981 (After Voldemort killed James and Lily potter and Hagrid took Harry)

Sirus Black was just about to leave after trying to convince the half-giant Hagrid to give him his godson, but he heard a soft cry. He went into the house to find his goddaughter crying in the nursery. Faith Lily Potter was crying on her dead mother. Sirus went over and picked up the small girl and tried to calm her down.

Now Faith wasn't a normal baby. For one thing she could walk, talk, she was a seer and she could do much more. Sirus knew this cause he was there for her birth.

Flashback

"I'm sorry Mr. & Mrs. Potter your daughter didn't survive. She died in the womb. But your son is fine. He still needs to stay in the womb for a few more weeks though," The doctor told the Potters.

Lily broke down crying. James just stood there. Sirus looked at the couple and was loss for words.

"May we have our daughters body?" James asked recovering from the news.

"You may," The doctor replied.

He left to go get her body. James held his wife and tried to calm her down. Lily finally stopped crying after a nurse brought their daughter to them. She held her daughter and wouldn't let anyone hold her except for James, and Sirus. When Lily held her she could have swore she felt a heartbeat. It was the same with James and Sirus. They kept this between them though. After a few days Lily was able to go home. That's when Faith started to glow. She glowed for about an hour and then death appeared.

"Who calls me?" Death said.

"Wh-who are you?" Lily asked.

"I'm Death. Now who called me?" Death replied.

"N-no one called you here Death," James stuttered

"Do you dare call me a liar!" Death shouted.

"I called you on acceident sir I'm sorry," A small voice said.

"Who speaks? Anwser quickly."

"I do. I'm the one you saw as alive but dead. You said to live while I was born still. I'm called Faith," The voice said.

"So you decided to trick the healers and be left a secret just as I suggested. Yet your parents felt your heartbeat as did your godfather. Interesting. You are an amazing human," Death chuckled.

"How are you able to talk? Infants don't usually talk until they're older even in the wizarding world," James asked.

"Your daughter is very unique. She has the ability to talk because she heard you talking. Also she is very powerful. More powerful than the most powerful Wizard or witch alive or has ever lived. Her power will continue to grow." Death explained then Death asked, "May I hold her for a monent?"

"Umm... Well...I'm-" Lily started, but Faith interupted her.

"Mother it's ok."

Lily looked at her daughter and smiled then handed her over to Death.

"They were right your heart is pure. You have a good heart, a strong will, and will have many friends. This will help you a long your way through life little one," Death said as he touched her shoulder.

When he did a cross apeared. with the words 'Semper Fidelis' across the top of it. Then returned her to her mother

"No one is to know that your daughter is alive except for your family, and a selected few. Word must not get out," Death told them.

"Why must no one know?" Lily.

" It's for her protecton as much as the unborn child you carry," Death replied.

"What select few should we tell?" James asked.

" The one at her birth, your friend that is a werewolf, your old transfiguration teacher, and the Windrifts. No one else.

"Very well. Thank you for giving us our daughter back her life," Lily said.

"Dear your child was never dead. She has very special gifts. She will be respected, trusted, and even feared some, by everyone who meets her. She will forever have a pure heart and for that I will give her seven gifts in her future," Death told them then left.




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(95 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]bellereve_
2009-05-02 08:23 pm UTC (link)
BABIES THAT CAN WALK AND TALK ARE CREEPY.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]bandazgeek
2009-05-02 08:25 pm UTC (link)
TELL THAT TO STEPHANIE MEYER.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]missblackheart7, 2009-05-02 10:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bellereve_, 2009-05-02 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bandazgeek, 2009-05-03 09:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fer_de_lance, 2009-05-03 02:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]starlight976, 2009-05-03 04:26 am UTC

[info]maximuski
2009-05-02 08:30 pm UTC (link)
"Who calls me?" Death said.

"Wh-who are you?" Lily asked.

"I'm Death. Now who called me?" Death replied.

"N-no one called you here Death," James stuttered

"Do you dare call me a liar!" Death shouted.

"I called you on acceident sir I'm sorry," A small voice said.

"Who speaks? Anwser quickly."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XDDDD *pisses herself laughing*

yeah, you really should create a "what the shit is this?" rating.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]darth_gojira
2009-05-02 09:06 pm UTC (link)
"Who is it dear?"

"It's a Mr. Death or something. He's come about the reaping. I don't think we need any at the moment"

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jondosh, 2009-05-02 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]messiah_noire, 2009-05-02 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anivad, 2009-05-03 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-05-03 06:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]im_weird_people, 2009-05-04 05:01 pm UTC

[info]beshter
2009-05-02 08:40 pm UTC (link)
Oh dear God, the commentary made me laugh so hard I cried. After the week I've been having, perhaps I need a shot of this fic and some ether.

(Reply to this)


[info]cyniconvention
2009-05-02 08:42 pm UTC (link)
This story made me think of creating a "What the shit is this?" rating.

Please.
Because if a baby talking to her parents and DEATH doesn't warrant such a thing, nothing will.

(Reply to this)


[info]victorien
2009-05-02 08:45 pm UTC (link)
Has... has anyone read the reviews? I've lost all faith in the younger generation.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]maximuski
2009-05-02 11:07 pm UTC (link)
Me too!! I think good writers aren't getting the credit they deserve. I've personally have read awesome fics and they have like 2 or 3 reviews. That's sad.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alteration_duck, 2009-05-03 05:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-05-03 05:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_mercurial, 2009-05-04 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]victorien, 2009-05-04 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]piss_in_a_cup, 2009-06-27 01:59 am UTC

[info]azuresky001
2009-05-02 08:47 pm UTC (link)
So why is Death so friendly? Death is always portrayed as evil and bad for a reason, Suethor, and I see no reason to change that. Also, the fact that she's got some super awesome powers making her super SPECIAL awesome at birth is the first sign of a Mary Sue. Do people not realize this or are they trying to spam the internet to save kids from getting obsessed with it and surfing on it 24/7 when they find out only crap is posted here? Or do they just relish in writing Mary Sues? Oh, I do hope the former, though it's highly unlikely. Anyways, hope dies last.

Oh and Faith... a NO NO. James and Lily would have given their daughter a simple name, even similar to Harry's, especially if the two were twins.

One more thing - why and how did Lily and James and that baby and some weird pansy named Death randomly appear in nowhere or at least an unspecified place?:D WHERE WAS HARRY ALL THIS WHILE? WTF does this baby person need to walk and talk and - UH, I just imagined a baby doing that and it's overly creepy. SO much in fact that I'm going to have nightmares.

BTW... Death... no, wait, this just got me confused again! I have just recently joined this community and started commenting on these Sues and they're already affecting my brain. And I'm tired, but even when I'm tired I'm usually sharper and more coherent than this... yeah, it's the Sues, not my tired state.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]bunnyinthemoon
2009-05-02 08:54 pm UTC (link)
Well, Death isn't always portrayed as being evil, and some writers have even done a great job at writing death as neutral or even sympathetic... but this suethor is not a good writer. She makes Death seem ridiculous.
"O hai magic baby, did you pretend to be dead like I said you should? Because you know, even though I'm DEATH, I have nothing better to do than to give pointers to Mary-sue babies."

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]darth_gojira, 2009-05-02 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]azuresky001, 2009-05-02 09:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bunnyinthemoon, 2009-05-03 05:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-05-03 01:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bunnyinthemoon, 2009-05-03 05:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_mercurial, 2009-05-04 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bunnyinthemoon, 2009-05-04 05:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]burninglikeice, 2009-05-04 03:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jzygail, 2009-05-06 03:48 am UTC

[info]bunnyinthemoon
2009-05-02 08:48 pm UTC (link)
"Your daughter is very unique. She has the ability to talk because she heard you talking."

Obviously that's how everyone learns to speak, but if it happened that quickly, every baby would speak immediately. But they don't. So this explanation of "she heard you talking" still makes no sense.
Then again, why am I trying to bring logic into this... THING?

Also, as an infant she can come back from the dead, walk, talk, and summon Death? She is obviously possessed by a demon; James and Lily, please kill her now.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]azuresky001
2009-05-02 09:17 pm UTC (link)
I totally agree with the killing part.=)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]darth_gojira
2009-05-02 09:03 pm UTC (link)
DEAR GOD IT'S RENESSMEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Could you imagine how Pratchett!Death would deal with this one-"THIS ONE WON'T COME ALONG QUIETLY. BUGGER"

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]fer_de_lance
2009-05-03 01:59 am UTC (link)
The baby can summon Death; I wish the author would perform the Rite of AshkEnte backwards...

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]l_j_b, 2009-05-03 03:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darth_gojira, 2009-05-03 04:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-05-03 06:08 pm UTC

[info]morde
2009-05-02 10:09 pm UTC (link)
The title instantly let me know that this was going to be horrible. I had not imaged how much fail, however...

(Reply to this)


[info]__fantine
2009-05-02 10:55 pm UTC (link)
That had to be an unpleasant birth. Also, I'd like this story much more if the author actually realized that they created a zombie baby. Or a Jesus baby. Either one is good.
Also, I'm getting flashbacks to the time I read the last half of Breaking Dawn from the birthing scene onward because my friend said I couldn't make fun of the book until I read it. So I was all "LOL IT CAN'T BE AS BAD AS A HEARD" and then like ten minutes later I was like "OKAY I'D LIKE MY SANITY BACK NOW PLZKTHNX."

(Reply to this)


[info]camwyn
2009-05-02 10:58 pm UTC (link)
When he did a cross apeared. with the words 'Semper Fidelis' across the top of it.

... bitch did NOT just give her Suebling a Marine Corps tattoo.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]madeelly
2009-05-03 12:22 am UTC (link)
I was like, "Wait, she's a marine too?" FAIL.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fer_de_lance, 2009-05-03 01:53 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2009-05-03 12:05 am UTC (link)
"When Lily held her she could have swore she felt a heartbeat. It was the same with James and Sirus. They kept this between them though. After a few days Lily was able to go home. That's when Faith started to glow. She glowed for about an hour and then death appeared."

There's a lot wrong with this, but why did they keep their dead "daughter's" body with them for a few days? I don't spend time around dead bodies, but they smell. The rest of it is just bad. The idea has been used. What is it with Suethors using the same ideas over and over? It isn't that hard to come up with a plot.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-05-03 07:27 am UTC (link)
*whimpers*

They keep a DEAD baby with them? D:

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]catalinaormand, 2009-05-03 04:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-05-03 06:11 pm UTC

[info]ladysugarquill
2009-05-03 12:34 am UTC (link)
Dune called. They want their Alia back.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]wolkenser
2009-05-03 02:27 am UTC (link)
No, this character sucks too much to be based on Alia. I think this sue is based on that mutant half vampire antichrist baby from Twilight

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-05-03 06:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]camwyn, 2009-05-03 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wolkenser, 2009-05-04 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysugarquill, 2009-05-04 02:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_mercurial, 2009-05-04 05:21 am UTC

[info]fer_de_lance
2009-05-03 01:52 am UTC (link)
I'm extremely confused as to why the doc has to go and get the body when talking to Mrs. Potter -- didn't she just give birth to it? Do wizarding healers routinely attempt necromancy as a revival technique? Why would the mother be TOTALLY UNAWARE that the baby is dead, and the doctor have to go get the body from somewhere else?

And I agree with everyone else thst superprecocious!baby is scary, not cute.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]morzsa
2009-05-03 08:55 am UTC (link)
Because it wasn't their baby. Lily was never pregnant with twins. It's just some sane parents didn't want this freak for a dead daughter. Lily and James just got duped with Marine!baby.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-05-05 07:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fer_de_lance, 2009-05-05 07:33 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2009-05-03 02:03 am UTC (link)
Yay, I was the one who sent this in ^_^

... my bad?

(Reply to this)


[info]wolkenser
2009-05-03 02:39 am UTC (link)
...at least Sirius didn't imprint on her. That's the only positive thing I could find about this story.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-05-03 01:53 pm UTC (link)
I don't know, has anyone read far enough to see her in a scene with Remus? Death did say to tell him 'specialy about her.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Act I, Scene III
[info]piss_in_a_cup
2009-05-03 03:24 am UTC (link)
I couldn't help filling in what happened after this conversation:

Death: She will forever have a pure heart and for that I will give her seven gifts in her future
Death leaves stage left.

Lily: Wow, did that shit really just happen?

James: I think it did. Maybe... maybe everything's going to be okay. Maybe we can have hope.

Death flies through the window.
Death: Naww, I'm totally kidding! *grabs dead baby* I actually eat dead children. *chews on infant skull*

James and Lily look horrified as blood spatters onto their clothes.

Sorry if that was too intense. I'm actually a pacifist.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Act I, Scene III
[info]bunnyinthemoon
2009-05-03 05:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh Death, you and your crazy baby-eating antics.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Re: Act I, Scene III - [info]zoreta, 2009-05-03 08:29 pm UTC
Re: Act I, Scene III - [info]piss_in_a_cup, 2009-05-03 09:17 pm UTC
Re: Act I, Scene III - [info]zoreta, 2009-05-03 09:32 pm UTC
Re: Act I, Scene III - [info]bunnyinthemoon, 2009-05-04 05:08 pm UTC

[info]starlight976
2009-05-03 04:25 am UTC (link)
That would be so incredibly creepy. I started talking early - 3 months was my first "mama" apparently - but anything more than repeated sounds was still out of my grasp for a good long wile. Right after birth is just effing crepy, man.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2009-05-03 06:50 am UTC (link)
Oh, jeez. 'Cause Garth Nix totally didn't already do that whole stillborn-oh-wait-never-mind thing.

(Reply to this)


[info]grandanois
2009-05-03 09:24 am UTC (link)
D:




D:





D:

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]clockworktoast
2009-05-03 11:12 pm UTC (link)
Well said.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]schroduck
2009-05-03 11:03 am UTC (link)
"Dear your child was never dead. She has very special gifts... She will forever have a pure heart and for that I will give her seven gifts in her future," Death told them then left.

What the everloving crap? Is it the first day of Hanukkah or something?

Or is Death simply predicting only ever have seven birthdays, thankfully preventing this Sue from infecting Hogwarts?

(Reply to this)

The name "Faith" just makes me wonder . . .
(Anonymous)
2009-05-03 01:08 pm UTC (link)
Is anyone else hoping that Buffy comes and beats the shit out of this thing? Because I, for one, think that would be most awesome.

(Reply to this)


[info]thelovesupreme
2009-05-03 01:20 pm UTC (link)
all i can picture is Terry Pratchett's DEATH. it's totally fucking with my brain. but then so much of this fic is...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]beacon80
2009-05-03 06:15 pm UTC (link)
I'm thinking of the Death from Maximo.
"What? No. You have to come with me. Voldemort wants to tear up his soul, that's his decision. If he touches the souls of the dead, however... we'll have words."
I really liked Death from Maximo, because he cared. The souls of the dead were his children, and if you messed with them, he'd get angry about it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]crumplysnorkack, 2009-05-05 01:28 am UTC

[info]parcel_ribbon
2009-05-03 03:57 pm UTC (link)
At least it does what it says on the tin, I suppose, it is definately the suethors version...

(Reply to this)


[info]jennstarzzz
2009-05-03 04:21 pm UTC (link)
Nice dance, Faith

I thought of this immediately.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]jennstarzzz
2009-05-03 04:35 pm UTC (link)
First line of the story....

What if Harry had a almost twin sister that he never knew about? Would his life be different? And what if his aunt was nicer, and dudley never bullied him when vernon wasn't around? What if Hermione and Harry's sister were friends?

All of those questions mean his life would be different. He wouldn't be an only child (different) He might have had a bedroom for the first 10 years he was with the Dursleys (different) He and Dudley would obviously share toys. *rolls eyes* And I'd be pretty pissed off if a girl who was apparently my sister gegged my soon to be best friend.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-05-03 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jennstarzzz, 2009-05-03 06:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jzygail, 2009-05-06 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jennstarzzz, 2009-05-06 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maximuski, 2009-05-03 09:07 pm UTC

(95 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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