Potter Sue of the Day ([info]pottersues) wrote,
@ 2009-03-24 09:31:00
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Current mood: tired
Current music:Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carsile
Entry tags:fairy, pepper-jack cheese, related to voldemort, toxic, wings

TITLE: Butterfly's Truth
PERPETRATOR: Mistagicalness
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Marielle Sauveterre and Ethelinda "Elle" Riddle
SPECIES: Marielle: Fae Elle: Voldy's daughter
HAIR: Marielle: "long, dark brown hair". Ethelinda: black with "a cascade of loose curls".
EYES: Marielle: "Fae eyes". Ethelinda: "pretty, aqua eyes sparkled with mischief"
MARKINGS: Marielle: pink lips, wings.
POSSESSIONS: Marielle:"a light blue singlet, paired with black yoga pants". Ethelinda sticks her in "a simple green singlet, which, in Marielle’s opinion, was a little too low cut, and tight, black jeans tucked into green leather boots. There was a long gold chain hanging around Marielle’s neck, which held a pretty ring, set in silver, with a large amethyst, surrounded in a circle of small diamonds." She has a necklace that does not allow her to use her Fae magic. Ethelinda: "a knee-length, pale purple dress, a yellow shrug and matching yellow heels"

ORIGIN: New Zealand. Her family had been freed from some dungeons, and she was stuck being Voldemort's consort. Lucius had murdered her parents and her older sister had gone insane.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Marielle is a "Fae" that happens to be Voldemort's consort. She has a thing for Draco. Draco and "Tom" don't like each other. Ethelinda is Voldie's daughter with Narcissa. This is some complicated family shit. Voldemort sends her to Hogwarts to get to Harry Potter. He sends his daughter as well "so Dumbledore know I have more things going on for me".
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Marielle: Fae magic. Ethelinda: make-over skillz.

NOTES: The Fae is from New Zealand and so is the the Suethor! Hmmmmm. *makes a pondering face*


SAMPLE:

‘Better not just stand there like simple-minded Mudbloods and get in the fireplace already,’ came a cold voice from right behind the two.

Marielle and Ethelinda jumped. He always did that.

They both turned, and, sure enough, there stood the Dark Lord in all his hellish glory. Or something like that.

‘Yo, Vol-diddy,’ said Ethelinda jokingly. Voldemort merely raised an eyebrow.

‘Go, daughter,’ he said. ‘I must speak with Marielle alone.’

Sullenly, Ethelinda nodded, slouching off to the First Living Room alone.

‘Marielle,’ Voldemort said crisply.

‘My Lord,’ Marielle replied. Voldemort’s expression softened at her words.

‘Please, call me ‘Tom’, my love,’

Marielle nodded. Once upon a time, she would have cringed away from him had he said that, but she had learnt. Learnt that he wasn’t that bad and, being his Consort – it was all inevitable, and would happen anyway, so she had resigned herself to the fact she would never experience true love, and spent her time mentally preparing herself for the years ahead. Sometimes, she was even able to delude herself into thinking that she loved him back, too. Because he did love her, though it may be hard to believe.

‘Tom?’ Marielle acquiesced.

‘As much as it pains me to say this, your services are no longer required here at Riddle Manor,’ said Voldemort, his eyes focused on a strand of her hair that he held in his hand, twirling it around with his fingers.

Marielle was confused. Her services? What had she ever done to help his cause? Then what he had said sunk in.

‘What?’ she whispered. ‘You’re … sending me away?’ Her lower lip trembled as she considered the possibility. Later on, she would try to convince herself it was because she loved him and couldn’t bear to be without him, just like he wished it. But in her heart, she knew she was actually considering what life would be like without him/ Free to choose her own way, to do what she liked for once in her life. ‘Why?’ she said, her curiosity peaking.

‘Because, love. You’re going to Hogwarts.’

Marielle didn’t say anything for a moment. She was busy digesting what he had said. Finally …

‘Really?’ she squealed, trying so hard to contain herself and not jump about the room screaming. She might scare the house elves. Tom nodded solemnly, looking her straight in the eye.

‘Yes. But you will be working. I need you to get as close as you can to Harry Potter and his little group of friends. When I have completed my plan, you will be the one to steer him in the right direction, to lay the path to death for him, can you do this, my pet?’

‘Yes,’ Marielle said, nodding emphatically. She didn’t care that it was wrong, didn’t care that she would be forever hated, that her existence would be revealed and there would be no way of escaping after she had completed her job. All she cared about was the fact that she got to go to Hogwarts. After years of looking forward to the very day, when he might give in to her request. ‘But … can Elle come to …?’ she asked cautiously. Tom laughed.

‘Ethelinda? Of course, pet. I can’t leave you all by yourself, can I now? Besides, it was about time Dumbledore realized that I have a lot more going for me than he seems to think.’

Marielle didn’t even bother to point out that Draco would be there, too. Tom and Draco didn’t like each other, even though they had to pretend otherwise at times. Marielle had never quite understood it. It had only happened once, why the ongoing feud?

In fact, Marielle wasn’t even that sure of what had happened the first time, to make Tom so mad, and Draco so scared, and angry.




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(99 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]zoreta
2009-03-28 02:45 pm UTC (link)
Of all the things that are wrong with this, the one that sticks out the most...


Why Narcissa? Bella would be so much easier to convince, and Narcissa would have Draco to deal with about it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]zoreta
2009-03-28 02:46 pm UTC (link)
Bella = Bellatrix. Gah, too much time at Twilight Sues is making my brain go gooey.

In other words: First, hurray.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]curlychikk, 2009-03-28 04:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mornmeril, 2009-03-28 07:08 pm UTC

[info]rowenaraven13
2009-03-28 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Saffron eyes? Isn't saffron . . . like, red?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rakugo_report
2009-03-28 03:16 pm UTC (link)
Yellow. Think saffron rice.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rowenaraven13, 2009-03-28 04:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]celestineangel, 2009-03-28 07:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-28 03:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-29 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-29 01:36 am UTC

[info]rowenaraven13
2009-03-28 03:05 pm UTC (link)
'Better not just stand there like simple-minded Mudbloods and get in the fireplace already,' came a cold voice from right behind the two.

Yes, that sounds exactly like something the Dark Lord would say. Dignified, caustic, and rife with double entendre.

'Please, call me 'Tom', my love,' because I've always preferred my filthy Muggle father's name and should never have tried to change it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]lizoko
2009-03-28 08:08 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I sense some personality issues.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-28 09:11 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2009-03-28 03:15 pm UTC (link)
‘Yo, Vol-diddy,’ said Ethelinda jokingly. Voldemort merely raised an eyebrow.'

Just...WHAT? This conjours mental images of Voldemort in a crunk video, grinding up against some scantily clad lady in his gold tracksuit.
Also, he would *not* merely raise an eyebrow. He would kill her for that comment. Pure and simple.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]catalinaormand
2009-03-28 03:29 pm UTC (link)
After the initial reaction of disgust, that mental image is actually kind of funny.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-28 03:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cosmosmariner, 2009-03-28 05:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fl_brightside, 2009-03-29 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]celestineangel, 2009-03-28 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizoko, 2009-03-28 08:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]celestineangel, 2009-03-28 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizoko, 2009-03-28 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catalinaormand, 2009-03-28 09:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fl_brightside, 2009-03-29 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-28 08:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]carolpent, 2009-03-29 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]piss_in_a_cup, 2009-06-28 09:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahiss, 2009-05-03 01:48 am UTC

[info]malinbe
2009-03-28 03:25 pm UTC (link)
As if Voldemort would put up with some teenage girl as his Consort. Also, he'd consider marriage a loss of his precious Crucio-muggles-time. Please, tell me somebody slipped him Amortentia (twice) for April's Fools and it just went too far.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]lizoko
2009-03-28 08:12 pm UTC (link)
And wouldn't Bellatrix murder anyone who came between her and Voldemort. I always kinda got the impression she was in love with him would not want any other woman near him.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]malinbe, 2009-03-29 05:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]little_masaouki, 2009-03-30 02:36 pm UTC

[info]catalinaormand
2009-03-28 03:28 pm UTC (link)
This could actually be a good story with the whole idea of it and all, but i'm afraid a writer talented enough to make it into one doesn't exist.

(Reply to this)


[info]terraforming
2009-03-28 03:55 pm UTC (link)
I had to look up what the hell a singlet was.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]im_weird_people
2009-03-28 11:33 pm UTC (link)
what is it?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]betwixtzelled, 2009-03-29 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosesfade, 2009-03-29 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-29 01:30 pm UTC

[info]darth_gojira
2009-03-28 04:16 pm UTC (link)
How this would end up if this was real: "Hey, Vol-Diddy-" *ZAP* *THUD*

The end

Wow, this fic instantly gave me a headache.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mornmeril
2009-03-28 07:10 pm UTC (link)
I stopped reading there. Just... not worth it. I admire Pottersues for going through that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]little_masaouki, 2009-03-30 02:38 pm UTC

[info]yumiboo
2009-03-28 04:41 pm UTC (link)
Besides, it was about time Dumbledore realized that I have a lot more going for me than he seems to think.

... were you that devastated[?] after your last attempt to woo Dumbledore failed that you've returned for a part two in your 5th grade seduction attempts?

(Reply to this)


[info]curlychikk
2009-03-28 04:48 pm UTC (link)
Sauveterre? So she's going to save the Earth? Geez Suethor, if you wanted to be a little less subtle you should have just gone for "Sauvemonde".

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rareb
2009-03-28 06:21 pm UTC (link)
-> Sauveterre? So she's going to save the Earth?

That was my first thought, too - :rolleyes:

I don't think "Sauvemonde" would be more subtle. In fact, she's showing "modesty" - she's not going to save the world, only Earth. ;)

Anyway, *really* stupid name.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]ladysugarquill, 2009-04-05 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]piss_in_a_cup, 2009-06-28 09:26 am UTC

[info]cyniconvention
2009-03-28 05:51 pm UTC (link)
‘Please, call me ‘Tom’, my love,’

My first 'Not Canon' sighting! My mother will be so proud!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-03-28 07:11 pm UTC (link)
ICON ADORATION!!! God, I love that game...I just can't play it for two long or my brain goes mushy.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cyniconvention, 2009-03-28 11:30 pm UTC

[info]celestineangel
2009-03-28 07:39 pm UTC (link)
Someone has some very whacked-out fantasies about being a member of Voldemort's family. It's like they want to present Voldemort as being the head of household in some Osbournes-meets-weekly-sitcom-crazy-pants family.

How many times do I have to say Voldemort is asexual before the insane fangirls begin to believe me?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]little_masaouki
2009-03-30 02:46 pm UTC (link)
The fangirls will never believe. J.K. Rowling could carve it into the face of the moon with a high powered laser (she could afford it too) and they still wouldn't believe,

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lizoko
2009-03-28 08:07 pm UTC (link)
‘Yo, Vol-diddy,’ said Ethelinda jokingly. Voldemort merely raised an eyebrow.

‘Please, call me ‘Tom’, my love,’


I think this makes this Voldemort and Voldie-Stu.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]fl_brightside
2009-03-29 04:38 am UTC (link)
Vol-diddy Stu?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]andiais
2009-03-28 09:42 pm UTC (link)
^ New Avatar. I Just Had To. It's not brill, but it makes me snigger!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]beacon80
2009-03-28 10:36 pm UTC (link)
The text is REALLY hard to read on that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]andiais, 2009-03-28 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]im_weird_people, 2009-03-28 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-28 11:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]andiais, 2009-03-28 11:39 pm UTC

[info]time_ambassador
2009-03-28 10:03 pm UTC (link)


Yo, Vol-diddy

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-03-28 10:13 pm UTC (link)
That is the best thing I have seen. Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-28 10:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hazehull, 2009-03-28 10:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-28 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alteration_duck, 2009-03-28 10:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darth_gojira, 2009-03-28 10:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sinkinto_heart, 2009-03-28 11:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-29 12:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]betwixtzelled, 2009-03-29 03:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yumiboo, 2009-03-29 03:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]time_ambassador, 2009-03-29 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hello_goodbye05, 2009-04-06 12:59 pm UTC

[info]im_weird_people
2009-03-28 11:36 pm UTC (link)
They both turned, and, sure enough, there stood the Dark Lord in all his hellish glory. Or something like that.

I loled at this and then just didn't stop laughing after that. "Or something like that." ahahaha

‘Yo, Vol-diddy,’ said Ethelinda jokingly. Voldemort merely raised an eyebrow.

Considering THIS came right after. AHAHAHAHAHA Totally most quotable line.

(Reply to this)


[info]cyniconvention
2009-03-29 12:18 am UTC (link)
‘Yo, Vol-diddy,’ said Ethelinda jokingly.Voldemort merely raised an eyebrow.

Correction; Voldemort raised his wand and said "I'ma Avada Kedavra yo ass, fool! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]sinkinto_heart
2009-03-29 05:22 pm UTC (link)
Your icon made me lol.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]colin_chaotic
2009-03-29 12:52 am UTC (link)
You know, attempting to figure out the family relationships just reminds me of my current Sims family, where the heir totally had a daughter with his step-father (and father of six of his nine siblings).

Otherwise... yeah, Vol-diddy. I got nothin' to add to that that hasn't already been said.

(Reply to this)


[info]beacon80
2009-03-29 03:47 am UTC (link)
Just had some interesting emails with the author. First of all, Voldemort is acting, which is good to know, but with all the bad fanfics out there, an author really can't expect readers not to think she merely can't write him.
She also insists that my review is a flame because all I did was point out what's wrong. That it's only constructive criticism if I suggest how she fixes it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]fl_brightside
2009-03-29 04:46 am UTC (link)
Gosh, that annoys me. Why can't Suethor's get the fact that just because every review doesn't consist of "YOU'RE AMAZING, YOUR STORY IS AWESOME; CAN'T WAIT TILL THE NEXT ONE" doesn't mean it's a flame. In fact, most of the pottersues minions are tame compared to true flamers

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]maximuski, 2009-03-29 08:25 am UTC
Flame - [info]piss_in_a_cup, 2009-03-29 10:21 am UTC

[info]kakeochi_umai
2009-03-29 04:16 am UTC (link)
The pain of seeing my second language butchered is nothing to the pain of seeing someone from my native country saying "Vol-diddy". I'm going to go somewhere and cry now.

your services are no longer required here at Riddle Manor

But a healthy meeting of mind and gutter does help. :)

(Reply to this)


[info]maximuski
2009-03-29 08:23 am UTC (link)
Voldemort saying "love" just cracks me up XD

(Reply to this)

Fucking Wings!
[info]piss_in_a_cup
2009-03-29 10:24 am UTC (link)
Vol-diddy's bitch has wings!

I don't know if anyone else read the whole thing, but Dumbledore is ridiculously out of character. Why does no one ever seem to GET Dumblydore? Or Snape for that matter. I can honestly say that Snape would never "adore" that winged freak, even if it was the love child of him and (spoiler!) Lily Evans herself.

(Reply to this)


[info]alteration_duck
2009-03-29 03:48 pm UTC (link)
Why is the Suethor keep saying that the Sue's Voldemort's "consort"?

Consort=associating with someone undesirable

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]pottersues
2009-03-29 07:37 pm UTC (link)
It also means A husband or wife, especially the spouse of a monarch/A companion or partner.

Prince Philip is Queen Elizabeth II's consort.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]malinbe
2009-03-29 06:12 pm UTC (link)
She rewrote the whole thing, after a review. Now it reads:

"‘Yo, Vol-diddy,’ said Ethelinda jokingly. Voldemort raised an eyebrow, the look in his eyes conveying to his daughter how much he loathed to miss an opportunity to Crucio her."

It's a bit on the purple side, but a teensy bit better.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]alteration_duck
2009-03-29 08:48 pm UTC (link)
The bottom of the rewrite disgusts me.
So now I'm going to tell how every one of her explanations are WRONG.

"One: "Voldemort does not love". No, he does not, I completely agree. He is acting, for those of you who have not guessed."

For those of you who have not guessed? Why does the reader have to guess? It's not the responsibility of the reader-it's the AUTHOR's.

"Simple fact: She was ordered to."
This explanation is already flawed. "Simple fact"? How was the reader supposed to know if it wasn't mentioned in the story?

"Three: "Voldemort taking a teenage lover seems both disgusting and out of character". I repeat, it is OOC. Out of character. But he has not taken a teenage lover. He has chosen his future-wife."
Voldemort would NOT have a wife.

"Five: "Similar for "Vol-diddle". If Voldemort even acknowledged her as his daughter, he'd insist on her calling him "father", if not "Lord Voldemort". One, it's "Vol-DIDDY." And no, he wouldn't. Not if Marielle was there."
Because the Sue is just SO special, it makes VOLDEMORT care about some Sue.

"Six: It's all part of the BIG PICTURE." The reader is just SO dumb for not being able to predicate what you're trying to say in this mess of a fic.

You fail, Suethor.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]malinbe, 2009-03-31 03:08 am UTC

[info]starlight976
2009-03-30 02:29 am UTC (link)
Seriously?

*SERIOUSLY??*

And those colors... *eye twitches* they're making my poor, hopeful clothing designer's heart cry.

(Reply to this)


(99 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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