Potter Sue of the Day ([info]pottersues) wrote,
@ 2009-03-17 23:02:00
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Current mood: tired
Current music:Twilight
Entry tags:awful

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in today's Sue!

TITLE: The New Girl
PERPETRATOR: Ravenclaw's Redhead
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Rose Bellevoire
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "She shook her head to move her scarlet bangs from her eyes, her mid-back length, wavy, ginger hair sparkling as it moved gently, rippling down her back"
EYES: "a swirl of blue-green with flecks of grey, brown and purple centering around her pupil"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a time turner so she can go to muggle school as well. A "black owl Ebony". A "Starburst 8500" that "she had helped to design and test".

ORIGIN: She is allowed to "finally" go to Hogwarts. She starts third year with everyone else. She flies to Hogwarts on a broom.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She impresses everyone. Gets to "try out"
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A great singer and dancer.

NOTES: Go to the Suethor's page and vote in the poll, one of the options is to create a new Hogwarts House. I want to see that happen.


SAMPLE:

“Finally, we have a very special performance for you all tonight. I believe this school needs more inter-house bonding,”- he paused as groans filled the hall. No Gryffindor had any desire to be on kind speaking terms with a Slytherin. “And what better way to bring us together than through music. May I present to you, The Royals Dance Crew!”

****Outside the Great Hall during this speech…****

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you guys!” Rose said to her five best friends.

“Well Rosie, let me elaborate. This is a school, where I’m assuming you will learn-” the Italian boy was cut off when Rose punched him in the arm, grinning.

“Shut it, Dan, you know what I meant! And don’t call me Rosie!” Rose said, despising her nickname.

“How much longer are we waiting out here for?” Haley said, changing the subject. She knew how hard it must be for Rose; the six of them had been practically inseparable since age three.

“I don’t know… Oh, there’s the signal, let’s go!” Rose said happily, as they ran through the now open doors of the Great Hall.

*************

Everyone turned their heads as they heard the doors to the Great Hall open. Music started to play and in ran six figures. Two of them went right, between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables, two of them went left, between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, and the other two ran between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. No one could see their faces, they had purple hoodies on that covered their faces. They made it to the front of the stage (the Head Table had disappeared and the teachers were now sitting in a row of balcony seats that had appear in midair from out of nowhere) and the one in the front, who everyone supposed was their leader, grabbed a microphone that appeared from thin air.

“Hello Hogwarts!!! We are the Royals Dance Crew. Before we get started, let me introduce you to the team!” A female voice exclaimed into the mic. Several people recognized the voice from somewhere, but no one knew who it was. One of the hooded figures stepped forward and removed his hood, revealing a boy about thirteen, with tanned skin and curly dark hair. He smiled and waved at the crowd before doing flares on the spot.

“This is Daniel!” The girl said, watching Dan do the flares. He stopped, kicked up so he was back on his feet, struck a B-boy pose and walked back to the group. Another one stepped forward and removed their hood.

“Here’s Haley!” The girl had long black hair and fair skin. She did three pirouettes and jumped, landing in the splits, before returning to her friends. The audience cheered.

“Meet Rupert!” A boy with dirty blond hair stepped forward. He ran towards the Slytherin table, before turning right, running and doing a triple handspring across the stage.

“Here is Selena.” Another girl removed her hood. She had long brown hair and freckles. She did a 6 Step followed by several Air Flares before blowing a kiss to the crowd.

“Give a shout out to Tom!” This boy had dreadlocks and dark olive skin. He smirked at the crowd before starting out with an air walk and ending with a drill headspin. He got up, winked (at which point Rose was thinking “Good god, why does he always have to be like this?”) and took the mic from the girl, who walked to the centre of the stage, arms crossed.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you our leader, and your newest classmate. You’re very lucky to have her, we’re all gonna miss her. Here’s Rose!!!” Tom practically yelled into the mic. She took off the purple hoodie, revealing a blue T-shirt. She had long red hair and fair skin. She smiled and waved, before turning around. She did a backflip, followed by a back handspring, ending in the splits. Her group followed behind her and they did their end poses, followed by bright blue fireworks shooting out everywhere.

“It’s her! IT’S HER!!!” Blaise and Harry both hollered at the same time to members of there houses. Blaise was going ballistic, as were Fred and George. The lights came back on, and Dumbledore stood next to them, clapping his hands together.

“Everyone, this is Rose Bellevoire, your newest classmate. She will be starting her third year here at Hogwarts. Before the Royals Dance Crew continues, if anyone has any questions to ask Ms. Bellevoire, now would be the time,” Dumbledore said.

There was silence for awhile, before Blaise yelled out “Are you single?” at which the audience laughed at, Draco groaned at, the teachers glared at and Rose blushed at.

“Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Now, are there any actual questions?” She replied, grinning all the while. She had missed being onstage, and getting the opportunity to introduce herself to her new classmates by performing for them made worth the wait.

“What house are you in?” Someone yelled. Rose looked at Dumbledore, who nodded at her.

“Well, Professor Dumbledore asked me if I had a house preference, to which I said I didn’t really know much about the houses. We came to an agreement.” She paused, and looked at Dumbledore, nodding at him to continue.

“Miss Bellevoire will be staying in each common room for one week, before we will place the Sorting Hat on her head. The two of them will then decide where she will be.” Dumbledore finished for her.

“But what about any house points she gains or loses during that time?” Came the unmistakable voice of Hermione.

“All points she gains or loses will be given to the house she will be staying with after the first month.” Dumbledore replied. “Are there any more questions?” No one said anything.

“Then let’s get on with the show!” Rose yelled.

They danced, they sung, they performed in the best way they knew how. It seemed that the audience’s favourite performance as of yet was “Circus” which involved hip-hop moves, crazy outfits, Rose twirling around a metal staff with two blades on it which had blue fire added to it halfway through, as well as Rose performing a series of flips after falling from a great distance and landing on both feet. They were about half way through their final performance when Rose stopped in the middle of the routine and looked and Tom. There was a flashing piece of… something that had started to produce and beeping noise at his feet. Without thinking, she ran forward and knocked him out of the way. At that moment, the thing went off, exploding. Rose flew into the air and landed spread eagle on the stage. Several people screamed, several people gasped, and Fred and George looked at each other with looks of horror.

“We’re so in for it mate.” Fred said.

“Maybe not, I mean it’s not like we knew it would do that,” George said hopefully.

All eyes were on Rose. Slowly, she got up, shook her head and looked at the audience.

“Well, that was unfortunate and more than slightly painful,” She said smiling, although inside, she was wincing with pain. Rupert, Daniel and Tom ran towards her to support her, Tom apologizing profusely, exclaiming how it was his fault and she shouldn’t have pushed him out of the way. She shook them off however.

“It isn’t like I’m scarred for life, there’s no need to support me,” Rose said, although the room was getting fuzzy.

“Thank you everyone, but I’m afraid this show has to end now,” She continued. One by one the other five members disappeared from Hogwarts in a different coloured puff of smoke. The audience applauded one last time before gasping as Rose fell to the floor, fainted.




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(116 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]alteration_duck
2009-03-20 03:36 am UTC (link)
I voted and now I feel like a horrible person.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]liketwilight_xo
2009-03-20 03:43 am UTC (link)
ditto. :/

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]bookish_brownie, 2009-03-20 03:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]malinbe, 2009-03-20 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alteration_duck, 2009-03-20 03:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bookish_brownie, 2009-03-20 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelleneveu, 2009-03-20 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]schroduck, 2009-03-20 02:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandkitty, 2009-03-20 08:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]interviewfan, 2009-03-20 08:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alteration_duck, 2009-03-20 08:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowenaraven13, 2009-03-21 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brookolas, 2009-03-21 01:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandkitty, 2009-03-22 09:38 am UTC

[info]isis_uf
2009-03-20 03:39 am UTC (link)
Just FYI, you mis-tagged this as awful when you rated it bad.

(Reply to this)


[info]malinbe
2009-03-20 03:41 am UTC (link)
What is this? Hannah Montana goes to Hogwarts without the need of an artistic name?

Rose flew into the air and landed spread eagle on the stage.
For the first few seconds, I thought she transformed into an eagle. And I was wondering why would Fred and George be horrified? And then I was the one horrified: at the spelling!

I'm going to vote for a brand new house: Sparklypoo. Seriously. I hope she googles it and finds out she's not being exactly original.

(Reply to this)


[info]liketwilight_xo
2009-03-20 03:44 am UTC (link)
I just think the worst thing is that ALL her "original" characters have names from celebrities of her fandoms.

especially "Rupert, Daniel, and Tom."

FAIL.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-03-20 04:38 am UTC (link)
How much do you want to bet that Haley and Selena are her best friends names?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-20 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]colin_chaotic, 2009-03-20 06:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-20 04:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]colin_chaotic, 2009-03-20 06:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-20 07:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-21 12:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-21 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-21 10:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-22 05:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]panalysis, 2009-03-22 04:33 pm UTC

[info]malinbe
2009-03-20 03:47 am UTC (link)
Hey, look at this:

If you read my reviews, you would know that Catwin pointed out that Rose is becoming a “Mary Sue” type of character. Well, that isn’t what I had planned on, but, who knows, like Cedric’s death (this is a fact, btw), it may be unavoidable.


...at least she's honest?

Why are all the reviews good? Why can't others see that this is just some awful big cliche?

*lost faith in humanity completely*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]alteration_duck
2009-03-20 03:50 am UTC (link)
Welcome to the club.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]meepalicious, 2009-03-20 12:40 pm UTC

[info]bookish_brownie
2009-03-20 03:51 am UTC (link)
Damn the sue for getting "Circus" stuck in my head; I hate that song with a passion (never mind that it wouldn't have existed until about fifteen years after the story takes place). But I have to say that this was one of the funnier ones lately. I snorted at the "Royals Dance Crew" and some of the descriptions of their moves.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rowenaraven13
2009-03-21 12:10 am UTC (link)
If she has to self-insert for a musical performance, better "Circus" than "Gives You Hell". I've never hated a song like I do that one. And I can't go three steps in any direction without hearing it.

Edited at 2009-03-21 12:11 am UTC

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tinystarkitten, 2009-03-21 08:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pottersues, 2009-03-21 03:20 pm UTC

[info]minoukatze
2009-03-20 04:07 am UTC (link)
This reminds me of the dance crew at graduation in Ghost World.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]torchbaby
2009-03-20 05:18 am UTC (link)
Even the graduation dance crew in 'Ghost World' is better than the one in this fic.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hecate_12, 2009-03-21 10:32 am UTC

[info]tabloidrhetoric
2009-03-20 04:43 am UTC (link)
um, did she really just use a song from music and lyrics? please tell me she did, it might just make my life. and she sang a duet by herself, no less! i have a new hero...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rachelleneveu
2009-03-20 05:24 am UTC (link)
Oh,HELL NO.

Suethor, you best be steppingback from one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tabloidrhetoric, 2009-03-20 01:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelleneveu, 2009-03-20 06:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tabloidrhetoric, 2009-03-20 11:02 pm UTC

[info]starlight976
2009-03-20 05:20 am UTC (link)
Oh. My. Word.

Seriously? I - I seriously?! But why's she there? WHAT IS HER POINT SUETHOR?

Btw, I totally voted for the Purple House. Poor Hufflepuff had no votes at all. Although Gryffindor had plenty. GET AWAY FROM MY fictional HOUSE BITCH.

(Reply to this)


[info]beacon80
2009-03-20 05:26 am UTC (link)
Her parents had refused to allow her to go to Hogwarts for her first and second year as she was desperately needed to help protect her home.
I really have to wonder what's so threatening that they need to keep an 11 year old girl at home so she can help fight... whatever it is.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]liketwilight_xo
2009-03-20 05:37 am UTC (link)
well, her ~untapped~ magical powers will be at their full potential (see: harry apparating onto a roof as a kid) - not that that's an excuse. I say boo on shitty parents for keeping a small child in whatever dangerous situation may be when she could have easily been protected.

curse you, earth logic!

ps, just noticed your icon - how fitting!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-20 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-21 03:54 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-20 11:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-20 04:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-20 06:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]liketwilight_xo, 2009-03-20 07:30 pm UTC

[info]darth_gojira
2009-03-20 01:45 pm UTC (link)
"Daniel, Rupert, and Tom". Subtle. REAL subtle.

I bet when she puts on the Sorting Hat, it EXPLODES.

Harry's not even going to be in this, is he?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]liketwilight_xo
2009-03-20 04:36 pm UTC (link)
pfft, why include canon characters in FANfiction?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]fl_brightside, 2009-03-20 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-21 03:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alteration_duck, 2009-03-21 03:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-21 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alteration_duck, 2009-03-23 02:12 am UTC

[info]schroduck
2009-03-20 02:09 pm UTC (link)
Because it just wouldn't be a Suefic without a Selena or two.

“We’re so in for it mate.” Fred said.

“Maybe not, I mean it’s not like we knew it would do that,” George said hopefully.


What, so your magic equipment exploded, badly injuring the user, thanks to your shoddy workmanship, and you expect to be let off the hook because it was only death (I can always hope) by negligence? Good luck.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-03-20 03:32 pm UTC (link)
That *does* seem to be how it works in canon. People regularly get mild or trivial punishments for things that cause life-threatening injury, or else they get life-threatening punshiments (like detention in the Forbidden Forest) for comparatively mild transgressions.

- Dan Hemmens

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]schroduck
2009-03-20 02:13 pm UTC (link)
I found this in the disclaimer at the top of the fic:

Anything you recognize clearly isn’t mine, but my characters are my characters, as is the plot as well as a few minor details. Also, I WILL be the next J.K. Rowling! Enjoy, my fishsticks!

I WILL be the next J.K. Rowling, as soon as I can perfect the latex mask and wig, and then kidnap her and take her place.

Also, I hate fishsticks.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]clockworktoast
2009-03-20 08:58 pm UTC (link)
Good God, someone cure this child of her megolomania NOW.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-21 08:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]schroduck, 2009-03-21 08:45 pm UTC

[info]roseribbon
2009-03-20 04:50 pm UTC (link)
Although there are three bazillion things wrong with these, all i can think is 'why the fuck is she riding a chewy lolly?'

(Reply to this)


[info]brookolas
2009-03-20 04:52 pm UTC (link)
HAHAHAH,this is so delightfully cheesy! And where's Maaaaaario?

Photobucket

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]liketwilight_xo
2009-03-21 03:55 am UTC (link)
Can't have a dance crew without Mario!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]bluealoe
2009-03-20 05:05 pm UTC (link)
a time turner so she can go to muggle school as well.

Ummmmm, WHY? If you're going to wizarding school, what possible reason do you have for going to Muggle school at the same time?

As for the dance crew...What. The. Hell.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-03-20 06:46 pm UTC (link)
If you're going to wizarding school, what possible reason do you have for going to Muggle school at the same time?

Because Muggle schools teach rather a lot of things that Wizarding Schools don't? From what we see of Hogwarts, Wizards should graduate at the end of their course with a pre-secondary-school grasp of mathematics, the reading age of an eleven year old..

Hogwarts is basically a massive vocational course, you come out at the end with an NVQ in wizarding.

- Dan Hemmens

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]theorclair, 2009-03-20 11:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-21 11:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysugarquill, 2009-03-29 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bishthemighty, 2009-03-20 11:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2009-03-21 10:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysugarquill, 2009-03-29 01:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-20 09:52 pm UTC

[info]sandkitty
2009-03-20 06:20 pm UTC (link)
a swirl of blue-green with flecks of grey, brown and purple centering around her pupil

What the crikey? Ew. That doesn't sound pretty at all. It's like the suethor couldn't decide which speshul eye color to use, so she put them all in at once.



Yeah, that's not really...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]darth_gojira
2009-03-20 09:05 pm UTC (link)
XD
Looks like a weird alien disease

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2009-03-20 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]schroduck, 2009-03-20 09:27 pm UTC

[info]catalinaormand
2009-03-20 07:39 pm UTC (link)
Wtf?!

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2009-03-20 07:59 pm UTC (link)
The only thing I could think of while reading this is that it sounded like one of those awful pep rallies they have in my school.

(Reply to this)


[info]star20breeze
2009-03-20 08:19 pm UTC (link)
I couldn't get past the starburst broom...I just imagine someone riding an actual starburst candy. It was amusing, to say the least.

I sort of wanted her to be put into Hufflepuff...just because I'd like to see how she would write her in that house, especially if she were a Hufflepuff hater, but then I realised it would just produce angst or something. Um, I voted for the new house, because it is purple and new house!Speshul Sues are always worthy of some laughs.

Or the "write another chapter" house.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]miss_mercurial
2009-03-20 10:48 pm UTC (link)
Thanks for the starburst image- it made me sporfle!
*hands you a cookie for making my day*

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rowenaraven13, 2009-03-21 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]theorclair, 2009-03-20 11:06 pm UTC

[info]beacon80
2009-03-20 09:55 pm UTC (link)
I love how much special treatment this Sue gets for no reason. She gets to ride a broom to school instead of taking the train. She gets to try out the 4 houses. She gets to put on a performance for the whole school.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rowenaraven13
2009-03-20 11:56 pm UTC (link)
Question. Remember how Harry almost got frostbite riding his broom from Little Whinging to London in OotP? In, like, August? Why would anyone choose to ride a broom all the way up to Hogwarts? She'd arrive a bitchsicle.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]miss_mercurial
2009-03-20 10:42 pm UTC (link)
OMG! This girl is, like, SO amazing! She like, invented her own broom, and she sings, and everything! She's soooo kewl, I wanna be her bestest buddy EVAH!
After all, all her friends are imaginary and named after celebs, she must be REALLY lonely.

(Reply to this)


[info]parcel_ribbon
2009-03-20 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Mmmm...I haven't had starbursts in ages.
Rupert, Daniel and Tom - I c wat u did thar! But seriously, it's not funny, and it's not origional.
Not to mention, wtf is going on in the "performance" of "Circus"? What year are we in again? Anyone?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]alteration_duck
2009-03-21 03:15 pm UTC (link)
We're using Sue years not Earth years. So, it doesn't really have a certain year; all of the years are merged.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]rowenaraven13
2009-03-20 11:51 pm UTC (link)
"And I really want to bring my new broom so I can try out for Quidditch. No one even knows it exists yet, so that should definitely give me an advantage!"

I guess if no one knows Quidditch exists, you have a shot of making the team.

(Reply to this)


[info]mornmeril
2009-03-21 12:10 am UTC (link)
Starburst? What's this, Farscape?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]panalysis
2009-03-22 04:43 pm UTC (link)
Made me think of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(116 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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