Potter Sue of the Day ([info]pottersues) wrote,
@ 2008-12-16 21:59:00
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Current mood: i have wet feet
Current music:CSI NY
Entry tags:awful, hermione-sue, pepper-jack cheese

Sue #2!
TITLE: A Fantastic Debut
PERPETRATOR: zzombie
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: brunette
EYES: "her usual bushy tresses straightened themselves out and were three inches below her shoulder line... and that it looked good"
MARKINGS: not described
POSSESSIONS: Vogue and Elle Decor magazines, a digital camera, a T-shirt that says "I AM BOSS", "a black and white striped knee length skirt with a slight poof, and a tight white shirt with a vivid blue cami underneath", "Her closet was fat, fat with tube dresses from Topshop, skinny jeans by Stella McCartney, leggings by Alice + Olivia, tweed coats by Lela Rose and anything and everything trendy found at Neiman Marcus, Barney’s and Saks Fifth Avenue." "a light blue Abaeté dress from the ready-to-wear 2008 spring collection", "From David Yurman, she took out a silver Cable Heart Necklace, and from Juicy Couture she bought a pair of Puffed Crown Stud earrings", "two pairs of heels from Lela Rose as they had bows on them, she bought some ivy snap boots from Loeffler Randall, and at least five pairs of flats by Marc Jacobs and Corso Como", Nike trainers.

ORIGIN: Hermione is tired of people making fun of her appearance, so she changes herself for the "better".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Ginny gives her a makeover. Hermione is obviously going to be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Beautiful like a veela.

NOTES: I don't care to know about where you want to shop.


SAMPLE:

Hermione entered her room, pleased with all of the shopping bags strewn across both of her arms. She set the bags down on the floor and took out a pen and an empty notebook—she was back home where she didn’t have to bother with rolls of parchment, quills and ink bottles which were still locked in her school trunk. The brunette clicked her pen and quickly jotted down the brand names on separate notebook pages. On each page she wrote down what type of clothing and then set to work organizing her items into her closet.

When Hermione was done 2 hours later she stepped back to enjoy her handiwork. Her closet was fat, fat with tube dresses from Topshop, skinny jeans by Stella McCartney, leggings by Alice + Olivia, tweed coats by Lela Rose and anything and everything trendy found at Neiman Marcus, Barney’s and Saks Fifth Avenue. She squealed with delight as she excitedly ran to take pictures of her new and upgraded closet. Hermione was so glad that her parents were dentists as no one could really afford brand name clothes at Hogwarts sans a certain platinum blonde male.

The brunette was so excited that she even took out a light blue Abaeté dress from the ready-to-wear 2008 spring collection to wear in her room. As soon as she kicked the clothing bags inside her closet she opened a smaller bag filled with 2 pieces of jewelry. From David Yurman, she took out a silver Cable Heart Necklace, and from Juicy Couture she bought a pair of Puffed Crown Stud earrings. She put her jewelry away in their respective boxes and hid them in a drawer in her closet.

Finally, the brunette took out 2 bags filled with all kinds of shoes that nobody would’ve expected her to wear. She bought two pairs of heels from Lela Rose as they had bows on them, she bought some ivy snap boots from Loeffler Randall, and at least five pairs of flats by Marc Jacobs and Corso Como. Lastly she put away a pair of trainers, from Nike, for her everyday shoe.

Exhausted as she was, she still had enough time and energy to look through Elle Décor and bookmark styles she wanted for her room.

Hedwig returned from her flight to Hermione’s and tapped on Ginny’s window. Ginny opened her window for the large owl to fly inside. The redhead removed her letter and sat down to read the very short reply. Ginny giggled to herself as she imagined a bushy haired brunette excited over shopping and not studying. However, she was a tad bit disappointed when Hermione didn’t enclose the boy’s name she wanted to impress.

This got Ginny wondering and she thought for a moment if the boy was Harry or even Ron. She shuddered at the thought that someone could be attracted to her brother but it had to happen sometime in his life.




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(63 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]ellid
2008-12-18 03:36 am UTC (link)

The brunette was so excited that she even took out a light blue Abaeté dress from the ready-to-wear 2008 spring collection to wear in her room.


She actually wasted her Time Turner buying CLOTHES????

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laciemn
2009-01-18 06:07 am UTC (link)
Hah! That is just SO Hermione.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]rowenaraven13
2008-12-18 03:39 am UTC (link)
"Oh! Excuse my manners but how's your uncle Toadsworth?"

Oh, my God, that was hysterical! Did you write that one?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ellid
2008-12-18 03:54 am UTC (link)
I wonder if Toadsworth has a pimp cane with a toad in the handle? And eats toad-in-the-hole? And reads Wind in the Willows? And lives in Stately Toad Hole? And foams in self-defense whenever a dog animagus comes near him? And catches flys with his tongue -

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2008-12-18 04:29 am UTC

[info]colorxmexinsane
2008-12-18 03:41 am UTC (link)
She shuddered at the thought that someone could be attracted to her brother but it had to happen sometime in his life.

I read this as "She shuddered at the thought that she could be attracted to her brother" and I was a little scandalized.

SuperShopper!Hermione really gets on my nerves.

(Reply to this)


[info]winterlarks
2008-12-18 03:47 am UTC (link)
Ugh... Their constant use of 'the brunette' is extremely irritating. Please say I'm not the only one who thinks this?

Honestly, we know she's got brown hair! STOP TELLING US. It just sounds stupid after awhile!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]sinfulx
2008-12-18 05:10 am UTC (link)
Ugh... Their constant use of 'the brunette' is extremely irritating. Please say I'm not the only one who thinks this?

I think if I had rolled my eyes after anymore 'the brunette's they would've fallen out of their sockets.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]beacon80
2008-12-18 03:49 am UTC (link)
So very OOC. I mean, the only time Hermione has ever been bothered in the slightest about gossip and rumors was when Skeeter was attacking her. Not to mention, we've seen that she's quite capable of prettying herself up when she wants to.

(Reply to this)


[info]rowenaraven13
2008-12-18 03:50 am UTC (link)
Why would Hermione spend all that money redecorating her room? She's off at school all year, and over the course of seven books she only spent maybe a collective month with her parents (most of which was in France).

This is strike two, and I have to ask: Ginny? She's very pretty, but she's like me and just kind of keeps her hair plain and dresses comfortably. And I'm not saying poor girls can't stay up to speed on fashions, but do you really think she's familiar with the Juicy line?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]chasingtides
2008-12-18 04:03 am UTC (link)
I'm also pretty sure that Juicy is a Muggle line.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-12-18 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-12-18 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowenaraven13, 2008-12-18 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-12-18 11:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowenaraven13, 2008-12-18 05:34 am UTC

[info]redheadsarehot
2008-12-18 04:02 am UTC (link)
Barf. Why are some people so obsessed with clothes? Seriously? And why make the most UN fashion trendy character in the book all of a sudden give a flying fuck about the latest fashions. THEn pair her with Draco! Not Hermione at all. OOC all the way skank!

(Reply to this)


[info]lostmustard
2008-12-18 04:11 am UTC (link)
Author notes: I re-uploaded this because I started writing chapter one and it didn’t seem right. The timeline was off

You don't say.

She set the bags down on the floor and took out a pen and an empty notebook—she was back home where she didn’t have to bother with rolls of parchment, quills and ink bottles which were still locked in her school trunk.

Yeah, because Hermione hates parchment (and other things to do with being a witch) and that's why it's one of the things she smells when she smells Amortentia.

She shuddered at the thought that someone could be attracted to her brother but it had to happen sometime in his life.

Ooo-hoo-hoo, iceburn!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rowenaraven13
2008-12-18 04:35 am UTC (link)
Yeah, because Hermione hates parchment (and other things to do with being a witch) and that's why it's one of the things she smells when she smells Amortentia.

You don't get it. She is a new woman. Now, when she snorts Amortentia, it's going to smell like Prada leather, the formaldehyde spray that new clothes always have, and Draco's cologne.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]devoidofcontent, 2008-12-18 11:40 am UTC

[info]morde
2008-12-18 04:25 am UTC (link)
Ugh. The pepper-jack is pungent and the self-insertion is tangible. Next!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rowenaraven13
2008-12-18 04:38 am UTC (link)
I think I'll just take my wish list that I've been writing, expand it into story format, and change my name to Hermione so I can post it on FF.net. Except all I really want is money.

I'll be sure to include this line: "Here's your veggie platter, Meg."

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]enchantedbob, 2008-12-18 04:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]curlychikk, 2008-12-18 11:52 pm UTC

[info]little_masaouki
2008-12-18 04:29 am UTC (link)
Hermione Granger was tired of being known as a know-it-all bookworm with a bush of nettles for hair in the halls of Hogwarts. She was irritated with all of the whispers behind her back that if she focused less on studying and more on her appearance that she would at least look decent enough to attract either Ron Weasley or Harry Potter.

This paragraph, the first paragraph, is everything that's wrong with Makeover!Hermione.

Hermione watched as the last bits of Draco Malfoy exited before she let out a relieved sigh of breath.

This however, makes me thing that Draco was just frozen and shattered and is reforming himself like the T-1000.

Add onto that the blatant Ron bashing and Pansy bashing because heaven forbid somebody actual deal with an existing relationship instead of writing it off. And finally, the ever classic Draco "Am willing to sell out everything I believe in for a pretty face" Malfoy, and you have...

Garbage!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]melyannadevart
2008-12-18 11:57 am UTC (link)

This however, makes me thing that Draco was just frozen and shattered and is reforming himself like the T-1000.


LOL! This comment made me almost burst into a fit of laughter... this is not good as I am at the office, but it's also so funny it made my day.

Thank you! :-)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]fl_brightside, 2008-12-18 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]parcel_ribbon, 2008-12-19 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deathnotesues08, 2008-12-20 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2008-12-19 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deathnotesues08, 2008-12-20 09:52 pm UTC

[info]meepalicious
2008-12-18 05:15 am UTC (link)
I miss the Sues of the Good Ol' Days™. You know, super powered, really pretty, everyone loves them and they had lots of awesome clothes that the author took the time to describe instead of just listing off brand name items that they can't afford in real life. God, it's so lame. It's a sorry state when Mary Sue, who's supposed to be the ultimate in wish fulfillment fantasies, is just a consumerist ho.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]devoidofcontent
2008-12-18 11:46 am UTC (link)
You know, I think you've made an incredibly revealing discovery.

May I steal the idea for a paper? I could wring a stellar grade out of my Lit teacher making connections about what the consumerist nature of Suethors says about the state of today's youth.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]meepalicious, 2008-12-18 10:35 pm UTC

[info]sinfulx
2008-12-18 05:19 am UTC (link)
Wow ... someone really wants brand name clothing for Christmas. Why else would she list everything by article and brand? Yeesh.

Major OOC of a canon character.
Unlikely overnight transformation.
Unlikely culprit of said transformation.
like-O-fricken-M-G-I-have-all-this-brand-name-clothing-that-I'll-never-get-to-wear-at-Hogwarts-because-we-wear-UNIFORMS
omg-Hermione's-suddenly-hot-so-now-Draco's-gonna-fall-in-lurve-with-her.

Yep, definitely a wishful self-insertion.

(Reply to this)


[info]burninglikeice
2008-12-18 05:33 am UTC (link)
I don't remember seeing Saks in London, but I also didn't realize I lived near Regent's Park until I'd been there for a month. So, you know, oblivious.

Okay, I will admit that I love clothes and shopping and all that girly Vogue stuff, but I don't want to read about it. Nor do I want to write about it. I just want to live it. I mean, that's the same reason why most authors don't write about their characters pooping. It's not a plotline, it's a necessity.

(Reply to this)


[info]sandkitty
2008-12-18 05:46 am UTC (link)


Because of this being a prominent (kinda old) meme at 4chan and the Toadsworth reference, I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually a troll...

But I may also be hoping it's a troll because if it isn't I will be sad.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]sandkitty
2008-12-18 05:47 am UTC (link)
by "this" I mean this, sorry

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]feuillu, 2008-12-18 09:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]schroduck, 2008-12-18 12:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beacon80, 2008-12-18 08:12 pm UTC

[info]beacon80
2008-12-18 07:37 am UTC (link)
Man, I left a review and the author responded. Boy, was she pissed. Girl can not take criticism. Thing is, I don't think I was that mean. A little cynical, maybe, but I try to keep a certain level of decorum in my reviews.

(Reply to this)


[info]ridureyu
2008-12-18 10:02 am UTC (link)
I AM BOSS


...Same as the old boss?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]weddles
2008-12-18 08:04 pm UTC (link)
Do I smell a The Who reference?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]hello_goodbye05
2008-12-18 11:35 am UTC (link)
Wow, my closet is skinny, skinny with nice basic clothing. Mary-Sue!Hermione always seems to like shopping doesn't she?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]deathnotesues08
2008-12-20 09:57 pm UTC (link)
My closet is a little on the big side but comfortable with her weight with the cheapest of the cheap from Primark.

God, I love Primark.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]malinbe
2008-12-18 12:27 pm UTC (link)
Wow, I don't know 90% of those brands. I must really be a hippie.

But I have the feeling that Hermione is just like me... And if you're trying to impress DRACO I wouldn't shop muggle brands, and Hermione would know not to. The Brunette, on the other hand...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]beacon80
2008-12-18 08:13 pm UTC (link)
I don't think I've seen a single Suethor that's realized that wizarding fashion presumably has their own brands. The Suethor is also going off the movies, so the kids wear muggle clothing when they're not in class. I never particularly cared for that in the movies.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]malinbe, 2008-12-18 10:15 pm UTC

[info]darth_gojira
2008-12-18 02:45 pm UTC (link)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

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[info]merae
2008-12-19 11:27 pm UTC (link)
this.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]timydamonkey
2008-12-18 04:09 pm UTC (link)
Every time I see one of these Hermione makeover fics (mostly as they invariably end up with Hermione calling somebody "hot", I'm tempted to write a story just so it can have a line along the lines of:

"Honestly, Ron," Hermione sniffed. "He may be aesthetically pleasing, but he's also a bigoted idiot."

He generally refers to Draco, as it's always Hermione and Draco.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]beacon80
2008-12-18 08:15 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I love how quick Suethors are to have Hermione completely sell out her entire personality to impress somebody with few redeeming qualities (and none that Hermione's ever seen). Then again, in order for there to be any chance of Dramione working, one of them's got to change.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]shmeiliarockie
2008-12-18 04:48 pm UTC (link)
Name-dropping designer brands will not make you automatically cool, Suethor. It certainly isn't a subsitute for character development. Or even, you know, character. Not everyone is as rabidly materialistic as you are, sorry to tell you.

I guess I should at least be glad we didn't get twenty paragraphs describing the *exact* color of her lipstick. That would have made me go insane.

(Reply to this)


[info]little_masaouki
2008-12-18 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Thinking on it, I think it would actually be possible to do a good Make-over!Hermione fic. Imagine, if you will, that Hermione is not "tired of being only known as the know-it-all with bushy hair" (lets face it, Hermione LOVES being a know-it-all.) or doing this to "empower herself" (again, Hermione does not need empowering, she's proud of who she is, but rather, because she wants Ron (NOT DRACO!) to notice her (obviously pre or during book 6.) You ditch designer name crap (especially since wizards probably have their own designer names) and probably have Hermione be not very good at it, trying to use learning too much, etc.

Eventually she gets it right, but is getting stressed out keeping her grades up (She would not let them slip for anything.) and maintaining this new look until eventually Ron tells her to stop. She confesses she did it all for him, he's impressed by the thought and tells her he loves her anyway, or something along those lines.

It'd be a sappy fluff piece, but it'd be believable.

(Reply to this)


[info]choclytgremlins
2008-12-18 06:57 pm UTC (link)
Saks' flagship store is in New York, and I'm sure that's what the Suethor is thinking of, unless there is also a branch on Planet Sue (a possibility that certainly cannot be ruled out).

Why can't they understand that Hermione doesn't need to look like a soap queen for us to love her???

(Reply to this)


[info]clockworktoast
2008-12-18 08:25 pm UTC (link)
This fic gets so much better when you imagine The Brunette as a completely separate person.

Finally, the brunette took out 2 bags filled with all kinds of shoes that nobody would’ve expected her to wear. Hermione sat quietly on the bed, wondering who this strange person was and how she had gotten into her room. She concluded that the next time someone followed her home and started rifling through her closet, she'd get out the baseball bat.

(Reply to this)


[info]curlychikk
2008-12-18 11:50 pm UTC (link)
Dear HermioneSue,

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT LABEL YOU ARE WEARING.

Sincerely, Me.

(Reply to this)


(63 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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