The Potter Sue of the Day

Featuring your Mary-Sues, one fic at a time!

Oh wow my first first comment =]

This is so awful beyond belief. Also--I think this story would be better in Old English.

Also, "Dumbledore's Every Flavor Condoms" kinda win :Db.

Would it kill you to research life in England 1000 years ago???


I also like that not only did she ride a train 1000 years ago, but she also rode it across the ocean.

Edited at 2008-02-04 10:47 pm (UTC)

I also like that not only did she ride a train 1000 years ago, but she also rode it across the ocean

That's what has me dying of laughter over here D:

I couldn't read it, I just couldn't. History buffs like us just can't take it. D=

So here's the best avatar ever! =D

I think this fic needed dinosaurs with lasers. Shit, they would probably fit right in with all of the other inaccurate crap.

First off, that video: Ohgod. I'm gonna forget I just watched that.

Second, the 'fic': I... I... it fails.

No wonder I always avoid Founder fic. Really.

Rowena went by train to America, where she had her name legally changed to Meredith Granger.

dies. I can't even wrap my mind around this fic... I just... what

Video= so much win!
Founder fic is just painful. :/

They had cafés in England in the year 1000? Wow. Learn something new every day.

The trans-oceanic trains in 1000 made me laugh. Just too bizarre to take seriously.

Wait, wait. How on earth did she even know where America was? Does not compute.

medieval England was my focus in college

What's really sad, for me, is that no matter how many founder fics I read like this (or worse) and I still keep reading them and thinking: 'Someday, I will find a good one! One which will make all this suffering worth it.' Clearly I'm masochistic on several levels. And maybe a little stupid. :/

I keep thinking the same about...well, most fanfiction, actually. Even knowing full well that when I do find a really good one, it still doesn't make up for the suffering.

Clearly, variable ratio positive reinforcement works. I'm already renaming my computer "Skinner box".

“HOW COULD YOU? JUST LAST NIGHT I CAME TO YOU! BUT YOU SAID TO ME “No, Helga. You’re getting ahead of yourself!” YOU LIED TO ME, ROWENA!” She screamed. She went back to crying. I looked down, ashamed. That was all true. I looked up again. Salazar was coming at me, his hands in front of his, like he was going to strangle me.

Teh angst! Teh drama! Who knew the Founders invented the telenovela?

“Oh!” he shrieked. He shot daggers at both Godric and I. “You’ll be sorry. You’ll all be sorry!

And so begins Slytherin House’s penchant for histrionics.

Accio trunks!” he yelled. His trunks flew to him, and he stormed out of the castle.

Am I the only one who imagined his swimming trunks rather than his luggage flying to him?

Am I the only one who imagined his swimming trunks rather than his luggage flying to him?

No. Although after she was sick all over the front of his robes, I could sort of understand Salazar's reasoning, there. Or maybe he was planning to go hang with Voldy in Barbados. With the timeline the way it is in this fic, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

And Salazar really has my sympathy, here. I think I'd react just the same way. ('Cept maybe excepting the hereditary slurs.)

As a history major, all I can do is weep.

As an anthropology major and someone who does midieval reenactment, I join you in your weeping.

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
Wait, wait, wait.

Her grandmother was a squid?!

*reads story*

Oh. Best typo EVER. I'm kind of disappointed, and I also want to read that fic. The kinky beginnings of Hogwarts. WAIT. Maybe the giant squid is a horcrux? Or Rowena? Makes Squidwarts even better!

Oh, man you beat me to it. Seconding the 'best typo ever' comment. I mean, that would explain so much. Maybe Rowena turned herself into a squid because she could and she's still living in the lake to this day?

I felt terribly guilty lying to a friend, but I couldn’t very well come out and say “Yes, Helga. Godric has a lover. And it’s me.”

And this is one of the many reasons why it is not a good idea to STEAL YOUR FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND. Or maybe they didn't have the Girl Code in the year 1000?

Oh, they did, only it was more like:

"Thou shalt not stealeth thy female friend's lover from her, else pestulance and plague fall upon thee and thy family."

I'm an animation major whose main exposure to history is Dungeons & Dragons, and even I know that in the times of Ye Olde Hogwarts, they probably did not have magic underwater trains, cafes, or the USA. This writer must live in an internets-powered cardboard box under a rock on mars for them to think this is even remotely historically accurate.

Dude, siriusly. You know it's bad when I can spot inaccuracies. Like "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue".

(and in a more random train of thought, my first reaction to your post was "OMG, Tarrasque attacking London! Quick, Rowena, send for a party of under-prepared adventurers!")

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Well, if my grandmother was a cephalopod, I don't think she'd be very keen on letting people know. Not that it would be hard to tell, and awkward at family reunions.

... I wonder if Doc Emmet Brown gave this Sue a lift? Why? He's smart enough to recognize a sue, right?

Your icon makes me very, very happy. You have no idea...

I love how the Suethor has America even *existing* in medieval times.

I was just thinking that. OK, she got to America by train, but then what did she do once she got there?

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Europeans going to America in the year 1000? Methinks you're about 500 years too early.

You forgot about the Vikings, but they didn't share their findings the English though.

Rowena went by train to America...

HOLY JESUS America hadn't even been "discovered" by Europeans in the 1000s. WTF, Sueauthor? History has some use, you know.

-fellow, very upset History major-

*insert Viking rant here*

Maybe they're reincarnations in the modern world? Maybe it's a time-paradox of...

...shit. Never mind. I'm studying for a master's degree in History. This fic is worse than watching The Patriot.

At least the Patriot has Jason Isaacs!



I am a History major too and I OBJECT to this garbage.

Maybe wizards invented magic trains long before Muggles? And maybe these trains traveled under water to places that have not yet been colonized?

What? It could happen.


Even if I am a Revolutionary War reenactor, it doesn't decrease my nitpicky accuracy in other areas of history. In some cases, like this one, it just increases them.

For God's sake, Suethors. Let's get something straight here, shall we? The Middle Ages were not a Disneyfied era of pretty princesses and Orlando Bloom-esque men running around in ermine capes with ruby-handled broadswords.
Research is not a form of STD.

“You whore!”
I don't see why she finds that so insulting. Ladies of the night were everywhere in medieval England. And besides, Hufflepuff's only telling the truth.

This makes me want to write a Founders' Fic with historical accuracy up the arse. Who's with me?

English major chiming in! I'll help!

As another student of history chiming in, I almost feel like it's my duty to write a good founders fic now. D:


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