pottersues: TITLE: Phoenix's LifePERPETRATOR: Genkai

Potter Sue of the Day (

pottersues) wrote,
@ 2006-12-10 18:09:00

Current mood:	hungry
Current music:	School of Rock

TITLE: Phoenix's Life
PERPETRATOR: Genkai Lady
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: Human/Wizard
HAIR: not mentioned
EYES: not mentioned
MARKINGS: none mentioned.
POSSESSIONS: CAPS-LOCKS rage.

ORIGIN: A re-write of the end of OotP. Mainly the office scene with Dumbledore. Inspired by Bon Jovi's "It's My Life".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is Harry Potter. Is friends with Ron and Hermione.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can turn into a Phoenix.

NOTES: This made me laugh more than it should have. I want to see the last sentence nominated for "Most Quotable Line".

SAMPLE:

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOSING YOUR PARENTS AND THEN YOUR GODFATHER BECAUSE OF THE SAME DARK WIZARD! YOU THINK YOU KNOW BUT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY!" Harry picked up the ancient table standing beside Dumbledore’s desk and hurled it out the nearest window. He couldn't stand it anymore, he just wanted it all to end. He grabbed the nearest object, a wizarding globe, and threw it at the wall. It smashed into a thousand pieces.

"Harry-" Dumbledore began, but didn't finish because Harry had just whipped out his wand and was pointing it at him. Dumbledore cooly smiled as if it was a joke.

"I've had enough. I'm leaving," Harry said, his voice shaking with rage. He backed to the window and peered down at the water below. Taking one last look at the now shocked Dumbledore, he jumped.

The rest seemed to pass in slow motion. Harry could hear Dumbledore shouting after him. He could see Ron and Hermione, standing at the lake front, staring open mouthed up at his falling body. The rest of the student body pointed up at him waiting for his body to plunge into the eternal darkness of the water. But Harry's body skimmed the surface of the lake and then, in a true blaze of glory, he transformed into a magnificent phoenix. And some say, as he soared into the sun set, that he yelled "IT'S MY LIFE" before he retreated into the clouds to never return.

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	sandtree 2006-12-10 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	. . . Oh my. (Reply to this)

	thegeekgene 2006-12-10 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	Holy shit. That's the greatest thing ever. Whatever crack that author's on, I want it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	laminacourt 2006-12-11 01:19 am UTC (link)
	I don't think we, the common people, could afford it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	icantfollow 2006-12-10 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	falls off the bed laughing What is the point of this? I mean, seriously, where did this come from? What was the author's motivation? And is anyone else thinking of Gwen Stefani right now? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	janeway216 2006-12-10 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	raises hand (Reply to this) (Parent)

Gwen -

rodentfanatic, 2006-12-10 11:22 pm UTC

Re: Gwen -

ejsthespie, 2006-12-11 12:24 am UTC

	irascible_liar 2006-12-10 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	one of the reviews is "you should be shot." hahaha. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	icantfollow 2006-12-10 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	I just saw that too. Icing on the cake. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jellyblob 2006-12-10 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	Hahaha, "IT'S MY LIFE!" I have some funny memories of my sister yelling that and slamming her bedroom door. HILARITY! (Reply to this)

	laurelcrowned 2006-12-10 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	this is the best thing i've ever read. ever. (Reply to this)

	the_glass_onion 2006-12-10 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	I am very disturbed at the mental image of a bird!Harry... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	potterfreak0515 2007-04-04 02:47 am UTC (link)
	I'm thinking the same thing. Seriously, whatever this author is smoking, I want some. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	charmwitch 2006-12-10 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	...I hope I wasn't the only one thinking "...WHAT." after reading that. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	What? rodentfanatic 2006-12-10 11:23 pm UTC (link)
	No, that was about my reaction. It's like, random phoenix transformation? Explanation please? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	firafoxx 2006-12-10 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	And some say, as he soared into the sun set, that he yelled "IT'S MY LIFE" before he retreated into the clouds to never return. Best. Line. EVAR. I mean, really. Could it get much more pathetically melodramatic? I don't think so. (Reply to this)

	choclytgremlins 2006-12-10 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Everybody sing along! This is yooooooouuuuur life Don't play hard to get It's a freeeeeeeeeee world All you have to do is fall in love! Play the game! Hmmm...so bird!Harry "soared into the sun set"...I'm ~~hoping~~ wondering if that's like what Icarus did... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	laminacourt 2006-12-11 01:22 am UTC (link)
	Haha. Pwnd! with Greek Mythology. Niiice. It's one of my favourite stories. "Let's make wings out of wax, son." "Ok dad. They'll work, I'm sure. My body and the wax will become one." "Just don't fly too close to the sun." "IT'S MY LIFE!" (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pirate_dingo 2006-12-10 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	I...huh? What just happened? Harry...phoenix--what? What's next, he and Fawkes are going to have little phoenix babies? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	kushielsavatr 2006-12-10 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	LMAO...that would be better than an mpreg...like SOOO much better:D (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	ramora_chibi 2006-12-10 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	It smashed into a thousand pieces. I can totally imagine capslock!Harry pausing to count exactly how many pieces there were. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	iman00b 2006-12-11 08:07 am UTC (link)
	Lmao^^ (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kushielsavatr 2006-12-10 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	dies laughing omg...this is just....le garbage... (Reply to this)

	suckmyspock 2006-12-10 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	Us Bon Jovi fans are scarred forever. T_T (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mer__girl 2006-12-10 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	... *Wow. The only way this could have been worse/more hilarious is if it were longer, and he had shouted, "I AIN'T NO HOLLAH BACK GRRRRL!" instead. Back to slaving away for Art School critique week! sigh* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	pirate_dingo 2006-12-12 12:54 am UTC (link)
	Icon needed, yes? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	katetherobot 2006-12-10 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Praise: LOL Constructive Criticism: Needs more Bon Jovi. Find a way to work in "Livin' On A Prayer," or at least make more of a deal about him being a "Runaway." WHAT KIND OF WRITER ARE YOU? Rating: two projectile vomits out of four (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mimsical_dream 2006-12-12 07:42 am UTC (link)
	you forgot about him being "wanted, dead or alive" in a battle against Voldemort... (Reply to this) (Parent)

	chaos_sama9 2006-12-11 12:02 am UTC (link)
	XD ROFLMAO! D00d, that was awesome! showers slynn6776 with cookies (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	mizzmarvel 2006-12-11 12:12 am UTC (link)
	Read the author's note at the beginning - it took TWO people to come up with this brilliant plot. (Reply to this) (Thread)

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	lamia_prime 2006-12-11 02:04 pm UTC (link)
	Icon love SO MUCH!!! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	I ROTF'd all over the place! c4keman 2006-12-11 12:14 am UTC (link)
	Someone open the window and let some of that ghey out! Good gog... it's like every HP fanfic is required to have at least one instance of CAPSrage!Harry, these days... (Reply to this)

	dobie87 2006-12-11 12:18 am UTC (link)
	AUGH, I just could not supress the ridiculous mental image of a phoenix soaring across a lake majestically into the sunset, screaming "IT'S MY LIFE!". I just had to draw it! (in 3 minutes) What can I say? Fics this special deserve special illustrations. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	emotionalwench 2006-12-11 12:22 am UTC (link)
	Haha, nice! That's brilliant! Yeah, Harry, it's your life. Too bad you can't really live it because YOU'RE A FRICKIN' BIRD NOW. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	chrismactaggart 2006-12-11 12:24 am UTC (link)
	well, if Harry's a Phoenix - how the hell is he going to defeat Voldemort now? Good job, Harry, screw over the Wizarding World much? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dobie87 2006-12-11 12:26 am UTC (link)
	But it's HIS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEh!!! He can do ~whatever he wants to~, remember? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-12-11 12:25 am UTC (link)
	...I'm not entirely sure why that's so funny, but it is. XD I agree with pottersues. Somebody better nominate something from here for Most Quotable Line. (Reply to this)

	usagicookies 2006-12-11 12:26 am UTC (link)
	Dude, I so need to remember this fic for "Most Unintentionally Hilarious." (Reply to this)

	brentdax 2006-12-13 09:07 am UTC (link)
	Holy crap, you're on LJ? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	minoukatze 2006-12-11 12:35 am UTC (link)
	And some say, as he soared into the sun set, that he yelled "IT'S MY LIFE" before he retreated into the clouds to never return. Holy crap, BEST LINE EVER. It reminds me of Zoidberg's epilogue from the Valentine's Day Futurama. (Reply to this)