And now, boys and girls, we're going to bag ourselves one of the most dangerous of all Potter Sues... the 'Ermione Sue! This little shielah has enough venom in 'er to kill a man ten times over! Crikey! Ain't she a beaut?

TITLE: Punk Butt Hermione?
PERPETRATOR: Ice Bear

SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)

	WRITING:
	SUEAGE:
	WRONGNESS:

FULL NAME: Unknown
SPECIES: Teenage punk wannabe (I don't know about anybody else, but I tend to classify these as subhuman - along with sk8rs, teenyboppers, and anybody who speaks ebonics)
HAIR: "2 inch long pink hair with purple streaks in it." Later it magically (in the non-sarcastic sense of the word) goes back to being "long bushy brown hair." Has the real Hermione returned? Nah, I think the fake one was just worried Draco would see through her disguise.
EYES: Not described, but since she's managing to convince people she's Hermione, I guess they're brown.
MARKINGS: Pink and purple hair.
POSESSIONS: Pepper jack cheese and lacy lingerie.

ORIGIN: The deepest, darkest, smelliest pit of hell, by way of Hot Topic and HMV.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Pretending to be Hermione Granger.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Convincing people she's Hermione, making Draco completely forget his hatred of mudbloods.

NOTES: marysues sure had fun with this one.

As Steve explained above, what we have here is one of the nastiest subspecies of Potter Sue around; the Hermione Sue. This Sue sneaks into the Grangers' house, ties Hermione up, locks her in a closet and steals her stuff. Then the Sue happily heads off to Hogwarts for the year, all the while impersonating Hermione... badly. Deception spells must be among her fortes, since despite the fact that this statuesque goddess bears very little resemblance to the frizzy-haired, buck-toothed little witch we know and love, nobody ever seriously questions her identity.

Seduction spells are probably up there, too, since, like most sues, the Hermione Sue sleeps with everything that moves. Draco Malfoy tends to be high on the list. Now, I've known enough teenage boys to be aware of what hormones can do to the developing brain, but Draco's hatred of muggles and mudbloods is pretty ingrained. I have a hard time picturing it vanishing just because there's a Mary-Sue with a nice rack pretending she's Hermione.

Oh, and then there's the Pepper Jack Cheese. The Pepper Jack Cheese amuses me. This author likes Pepper Jack Cheese, so in her story, her Hermione Impersonator likes it, too. I think any remaining shreds of non-mary-sueage just went out the window.

Be sure to check out the 'Author's Note' in Chapter 3. In fact, here, I'll post it after the sample.

SAMPLE: ( Draco is a Sexy Beast! Yeah, Baby, Yeah! )

( her words: 'The Author's Note! A Must-Read!' )