The Potter Sue of the Day

Featuring your Mary-Sues, one fic at a time!

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
4046: Shadow - Evangelina Granger, Beatrice Gale, Tracy
Pancake!
pottersues
- The link of the day is Avoiding Mistakes in Fanfiction Writing: A Beginner’s Guide, and here are some of the previous links of the day which you may find useful.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.

TITLE: Shadow
PERPETRATOR: xWintra
SUE-O-METER: Awful
COVER/BANNER ART: Nothing of interest.
SUMMARY:” Evangelina Granger has always lived in the shadow of her talented and kind older sister, Hermione. When they both turn out to be witches and are off to Hogwarts, Evangelina believes it'll be a fresh start and a place to finally prove herself. But with dangers around every corner and snakes that refuse to leave Evangelina alone, escaping Hermione's shadow becomes her last problem.”
FULL NAME: Evangelina Granger, Beatrice Gale, Tracy
SPECIES: Hermione’s sister, and the woman who introduces them to the wizarding world, and friend Evangelina makes
HAIR: dark
EYES: hazel-green
MARKINGS:
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: It’s your typical oh, woe is me, I’m not as good as Hermione story. There is major plot, what plot is going on, and despite the claim that this girl is living in her sister’s shadow, I don’t buy it.
ORIGIN: She’s another sister of Hermione whose “different” in a lousy way. “This is an eventual (because they’re only 11) Draco/OC story, which starts in the Philospher’s (or Sorcerer’s) Stone. This story will take elements from both the books and the movies.) That typically means plagiarism, but I doubt the writers claim that only eleven such stories exist.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Supposidly she’s Hermione’s woe be me sister, but in reality the story is so plot, what plot heavy that one questions why this story even exists. Oh, and “she’s the first muggle-born Slytherin in decades.”

NOTES: The fact the reader thinks there are only eleven such stories tells me she really needs to read more fanfic. On the positive side, while the story is plot-what-plot, there is no plagiarism in this one.


SAMPLE:


The sisters were a mixture of both their parents. Evangelina had her mother's dark hair but her father's hazel-green eyes, while Hermione got her father's light hair and mother's dark eyes.

Hermione loved to do writing and reading in her spare time, whereas Evangelina had taken up many sports and after school activities in an attempt to prove her worth compared to Hermione.

When a lady working for 'The Ministry of Magic' called Beatrice Gale arrived at the Grangers' door on Hermione's eleventh birthday, Evangelina had been cut off. Apparently, Hermione was a witch, who could cast spells and was different from normal people. She would be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry next September.

Evangelina hadn't talked much to Hermione for a while, but she certainly did. Hermione was always going on about everything new she'd learnt and all the books and spells and stuff. Occasionally, Evangelina picked up a book and read through it. She refused to admit that Hermione was now even more special.

Ten months later, on Evangelina's birthday, July 29th, Beatrice Gale arrived at the Grangers' door again, saying that the younger Granger was also a witch. Hermione was very pleased, and their parents were very proud to have two witches as daughters.

Hogwarts was supposed to be a new start.

For both of the sisters.

It wasn't.

  • 1
Link of the Day goes to the flashback Sue.

About the eleven, I think you may have misread. She's actually saying the Draco/OC romance will happen later, not at the start, because at the start Draco and the OC are only eleven years old.

she’s the first muggle-born Slytherin in decades

There hasn't been single ambitious or cunning Muggleborn in decades? That seems statistically unlikely somehow.

Only 11

(Anonymous)
"This is an eventual (because they're only 11)..." is a reference to the age of the characters at the beginning of the story, not the number of stories they think exist.

This is a relatively common phrase from authors who are paranoid about writing preteen relationships. They are just trying to clarify that their characters won't be having romantic encounters until probably at least third or fourth year (if not later). I'm surprised you haven't come across this phrase or something similar before.

I have come across the phrase, just not worded like that.

  • 1
?

Log in