The Potter Sue of the Day

Featuring your Mary-Sues, one fic at a time!

[sticky post]Rule of Thumb
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pottersues

Since Pottersues is getting a lot of new minions I decided it was time to draw up the basic rules for this journal that have pretty much gone unsaid among the minions. I'll also note here that there have been four Pottersues so far since the journal was started.

Rules for Pottersues ReadersCollapse )

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3516: Hold My Heart - Luna Lovegood and Rachel Berry
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pottersues
- The link of the day is How to tell if your character is A Mary Sue/Gary Stu. Can anybody make sense of this? I ask, because the piece is a mess.
- Flashback Sue

K is for... kink.

Note: Just because something is kink doesn't mean you can't be critiqued. There is well written kink, and kink that's badly written. I'd like to say this, but I'm not sure I believe this to be true. Look at the very definition of kink.

TITLE: Hold My Heart
PERPETRATOR: Alabasterclouds
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: didn't care to notice
SUMMARY:”A bit of AU crack!fic, also crossover fic with the Harry Potter movies. Luna Lovegood and Rachel Berry meet in Lima, Ohio, when Luna comes to the USA to experience Muggle Medicine after the War has ended. Luna meets Rachel at a community choir practice and finds the headstrong, annoying high school girl very cute and in need of specific help. Infantilism, diaper!kink, watersports”
FULL NAME: Luna Lovegood and Rachel Berry
SPECIES: Two OCs pretending to be canon characters...
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: None. It's original fiction disquieted as fanfiction.
ORIGIN: The writer decided to do a random kink fic for Harry Potter and Glee.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Luna is thirty in this fic, and Rachel is eighteen. After the war also isn't twelve years into the future either, but that's when the story needs to take place. The story also bashes Rachel's in canon fathers, and makes Rachel look very bad.

NOTES: What's wrong with matching your kink with characters it makes sense for? Do any of these people actually research their kink, or do they only want shock value? I'm not sure if I would call this a crackfic either.

Why is Luna a part of a Chorus?Collapse )

3515: Timers - Dave Potter, Blake Potter, Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, George Weasley, Luna Lovegood
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pottersues
Yesterday I had some internet problems, so was unable to post an entry.

- The link of the day is Badfic Bingo!!.
- Flashback Sue

J is for... jossed. I picked the Blaise being female theory for this one.

TITLE: Timers
PERPETRATOR: Silverstar44
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART:
SUMMARY:”Dave was not the Boy-Who-Lived. No one knew that though. Everyone thought he was and that was that. No one noticed the girl who stood in the shadows, a clock hanging around her neck. They weren't fazed by the disappearance of two pure-blood children. They didn't notice one less Weasley, and They sure didn't notice that crazy man's lost daughter. WrongBWL, Fem!Blaise,”
FULL NAME: Dave Potter, Blake Potter
SPECIES: The Harry Potter twins, a male and a female.
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: “After Blaise was out of the place she used to call home, we found out that she was a total girly girl/hipster. I was a tomboy, and Drake was a music addict.” (Why is a six year old even using these labels! They wouldn't know!”
POSSESSIONS: See sample. “I slipped on turquoise leggings under some plain denim shorts. On top of that I put on a Fall Out Boy shirt, which Drake had gotten for her. (Once he was free of his father, he fell in love with music, especially Fall Out Boy.) After slipping on my favorite combat boots, I decided to just leave my hair down as it was.( cgi/set?id=185854825)” We also get this. “Right as I was finishing the waffle mix, Blaise entered the kitchen. She had on a cedar dress with a matching beanie, and grey leggings with black boots and black leg warmers. To top off the outfit she added a charcoal jacket. The whole outfit was definitely her (),” and this “Speaking of, Drake soon came down wearing jeans and a red t-shirt with a flannel shirt on under a sweater. He had on high-tops and his hair was messy as always ( cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=63538171).” They also have run of the library in the house. Here are their outfits when they are nine. “I threw on some black jeans with a union jack tank top and a flannel shirt on top. I slipped on my high tops and grey beanie and headed out of our room ( . ). […] Blaise was already up, wearing some denim shorts with a white tank tucked into them. Over it she put a flannel, and finished the outfit off with some nude sandals ( . ). […] George was over by the counter, and it looking like he was making pancakes! Heck yeah! He was wearing a grey shirt under a red and black varsity jacket and jeans. He also had on red high-tops and a black beanie ( . )”
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter has Blake having angst over the fact she's ignored compared to her brother. (This is out of character for at least Lily people.) She ends up with a special clock she randomly finds, then next year is in Diagon Alley allowed to go around by herself. She runs into Draco who is trying to run away, and for some reason he promised Blaise (not Blake though) she could go to. She also talks about her clock to him. However, we jump to a year later, and Blake's already soul mates and cuddling with Draco. Lily and James have no problems with two more children showing up. A year later the three are cooking for Blake for her birthday. For some reason George also shows up, and is added to their family. (Really?) Then we jump to when they are nine, and they're cooking again. Luna randomly apparates into their family.
ORIGIN: It's another WrongBWL story.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: I doubt I'll ever find a well written WrongBWL fic because the implication here is people can't tell whose the one who lived, but canon makes it clear that who lived should be very evident. Blake as a three year old doesn't talk like a three year old. The writer also says, “they weren't fazed by the disappearance of two pure-blood children” at the end, but we both know this is true. We've also got a six year old wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt. Third chapter we get, “they didn't notice one less Weasley” at the end. The last chapter we get “and They sure didn't notice the crazy man's lost daughter.”

NOTES: The chapters are short on this one. The four existing chapters didn't even make 2,000 words. I suspect a very young writer here.

Nothing new here. Move along.Collapse )

3514: From Our Cradle - George Weasley
Pancake!
pottersues
- The link of the day is anMLP Sue comic.
- Flashback Sue

I is for... incest.

Sorry, but the only other word I could think of was in character.


TITLE: From Our Cradle
PERPETRATOR: Belladonna Lee
SUE-O-METER: Toxic...
COVER/BANNER ART: The writer's avatar...
SUMMARY:”One-sided George/Fred. Necrophilia. On the night of the wake, George was alone in the stone chamber, looking down upon his twin's smiling face.”
FULL NAME: George Weasley
SPECIES: an insane canon character
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Do I need to say? I think the summary, and the fact the story is rated M should tell you. The only thing of note is I think both end up dead.
ORIGIN: Do I really want to know?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: This is out of character for

NOTES: If the summary isn't enough to not read the sample, I am actually now suggesting you don't.

Yeah...right.Collapse )

3513: Me at Hogwarts - Lindsey Mathews
Pancake!
pottersues
- The link of the day is Mary Sue Bing. Don't ask other then I randomly found the cards.
- Flashback Sue

H is for... hurt/comfort.

TITLE: Me at Hogwarts
PERPETRATOR: CandyKisses1
SUE-O-METER: Bad
COVER/BANNER ART:
SUMMARY:”Hello, I am Lindsey Mathews, a Pure Blood. And this is my first year at Hogwarts. This story tells about before and after Hogwarts. (im terribble at summaries, just read it) The story was wrong eariler but its fixed now. Pre hogwarts, Hogwarts, Post Hogwarts. Adventure, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy, Harry's a bit different.”
FULL NAME: Lindsey Mathews
SPECIES: pureblood
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: It's the writer self-inserted into fandom.
ORIGIN: We probably have a very young writer.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She's hyper.

NOTES: Nothing much. I probably would have gotten more hits had I searched Hurt Comfort via the genre tags, but I'm searching via the pit's search engine.

...Collapse )

Thirteenth Annual Pottersue Contest Results
Pancake!
pottersues
Time to announce the winners of the Thirteenth Annual Pottersue Contest. While the point system is in place, I found myself not having to add up points for this one, as there was one person who had the most in each of the review, favorites, and follows categories.

First Place – A Run of Luck – Reviews: 4; Favorites: 15; Follows: 34 (reynardo)
Second Place – Just My Luck – Reviews: 1; Favorites 1; Follows: 1 (indigoneutrino)

So, reynardo gets to pick two weeks, and indigoneutrino gets to pick one. I'll start with reynardo's choice first, and then indigoneutrino. The exception here is if I don't get reynardo's choices by the end of the Alphabet set I'm doing, as I would like to move onto the next week as soon as possible.

3512: Method to My Madness - Harriet Potter
Pancake!
pottersues
- The link of the day is Is Ahsoka a Mary Sue? Answers and Explanations. I'm not sure why I'm finding so much info about Star Wars Sues. Pretty much I'm looking for Mary Sue graphics. The one in question is in the first post, and the writer says, “unfortunately, I've found that sometimes this graphic is true”, but it's not. That's the term being used incorrectly.
- Flashback Sue


TITLE: Method to My Madness
PERPETRATOR: ShikiXVI
SUE-O-METER: Toxic... I'm not sure why the writer thought this was a good idea.
COVER/BANNER ART: Their avatar is their name written wierdly on top of a nom, nom peach, which
SUMMARY:”Lily Potter disguises her daughter as a boy to keep her safe. Harry (Harriet) Potter grows up in secret with fairies until she attends Hogwarts and Dumbledore makes her live with the Dursleys. What is the voice in her head? Who is the red eyed boy she keeps seeing in her dreams? Eventual Time Travel Fic. Darkish!Harry Smart!Harry Genderbend!Harry Manipulative!Dumbledore.”
FULL NAME: Harriet Potter and the fairies
SPECIES: An OC the writer is trying to pass off as a canon character.
HAIR: Don't really care...
EYES: Don't really care...
MARKINGS: Don't really care...
POSSESSIONS: She's got the personality of a Purity Sue, so to speak.
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter is a re-write of the Voldemort confrontation, and Lily gets mad because James' wants to contact Albus, but Lily acts like doing so would put her in danger. (No, it would not.) Soon after Harriet is born, they apparated over to the forbidden forest. She drops the child off with the fairies in the forbidden forest, and gives the child a potion which changes the age. Thus he's “protected” when Voldemort comes around, and the faeries come to collect him.
ORIGIN: The writer decided to toss whatever canon they want. How many times have we noted that the point of an AU isn't to toss whatever canon you want? If you butcher the canon this much, you might as well just go ahead and write original fiction.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: We've got another butchering of the prophesy. First, the prophesy wasn't known until closer to when Harry and Neville turned a year, and yet this prophesy is known about right after the birth.

NOTES: If you're hiding your daughter among fairies, and I think I know which fairies the Suethor is referring to – not the Harry Potter kind, why do you need to also disguise their gender? Telling the readers that Lily has a method to her madness via the title of the fic does not mean she really does either.

Here is the awful prophesy.

A child is born as the seventh month dies,
No one knows the truth she must hide.
Her natural state is of great peril,
Until the time of her reveal.
Seek safety in the opposite facade,
The scars will heal but never fade.
Born with the power the Dark Lord Knows not,
A prophecy broken a prophesy wrought.
Flee, flee, flee through the times.
To the place where church bells chime.


Suethor, your prophesy is not better then Rowling, and is pretty bad. All it does is turn Harriet into an over blown Mary Sue.


Gag me on the fluff, and the fact the prophesy refers to a male child.Collapse )

3511: A Life Time - Katrina Murphy
Pancake!
pottersues
Don't forget about the Thirteenth Annual Pottersue Fanfic Contestt. You've got until tonight to get in your entries!
- The link of the day is It's Time You Learned About: Mary Sue.
- Flashback Sue

F is for Fluff

TITLE: A Life Time
PERPETRATOR: Bubblegumbitch1
SUE-O-METER: Bad
COVER/BANNER ART: Their avatar is of green jello with eyes and a mouth.
SUMMARY:”Katrina Murphy had always been 'there' uncared for and alone until she finds happiness in a unsuspecting friend. watch as her life, love and friendships come together. fluff, multi-chapter fic RemusXoc”
FULL NAME: Katrina Murphy
SPECIES: Cinder-Sue
HAIR: “honey blonde hair”
EYES: blue
MARKINGS: “'...her cheeks were turning a rosy shade of pink and her lips appeared a bluish rue to the boy.”
POSSESSIONS: According to the end of the one, and only chapter, “a beautiful friendship”.
CONNECTION TO CANON: Some how Katrina gets out of her home. She starts panicking about not having anything to eat, and knows she is unable to walk home. She runs into Remus, and he takes her back to his dad to fix up her ankle. She stutters at him. She's of course got to get home.
ORIGIN: She's a Pureblood living in the middle of a village with “filthy muggle”.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: This isn't fluffy. The writer though thought it would.

NOTES: Hello.

Such a Cinderella treatment.Collapse )

3510: A New Blossom - Hoshiko/Black Hoshiko/Harry Potter
Pancake!
pottersues
Don't forget about the Thirteenth Annual Pottersue Fanfic Contestt. You've got until January 31 to get your entries in.
- The link of the day is Please Stop Spreading This Nonsense that Rey From Star Wars Is a “Mary Sue”. Or, how about we learn what the term really means? That would solve a lot of he problems. Actually, I was looking for other stuff, but this popped up again.
- Flashback Sue

E is for... Established Relationship. According to Common Fandom Terms a ER or Established Relationship is a story which “refers to stories featuring characters already involved in an established romantic or sexual relationship to the beginning of the story.” Not sure if this is a good thing.

TITLE: A New Blossom
PERPETRATOR: wordltravellingfly
SUE-O-METER:
COVER/BANNER ART: Some random picture that is boring me to death.
SUMMARY:”During Pein's attack on Konoha, a new flower blossoms. Or why certain Academy teachers and snails are great to have at hand when a crisis hits your hometown. (Fem!Harry, established relationship) [This is a T*. If you feel I should rate the story higher, please tell me so.]”
FULL NAME: Hoshiko, “Black Hoshiko”
SPECIES:
HAIR: She's a redhead.
EYES: “Her long eyelashes fluttered against her creamy skin before reavealing semi-alert cinnamon-hazel eyes, liberally flecked with emerald green.
MARKINGS: “Her toned arms encircled his slender waist, while her head rested on his bare, muscled chest. One of his hands rested on the distinct extortion of her abdomen, the other asentmidedly running through her mesmerizing red hair.”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts off with Harry (Hoshiko), waking up in Kakashi's arms. This character helps out at the academy. Later on she gets to cry about how her husband died, and she's going into labor. We get a messy birth, and their Mary Sue daughter. He's revived, and it's all about how cute Kuku-chan looks. Nothing happens third chapter. (It is titled Bloopers & Extras II.) It's the same for the latter chapters.
ORIGIN: Gag me. Another OC mascaraing as Harry Potter. She's a “recently-acquired girlfriend” whose already pregnant with his baby.
SPECIAL ABILITIES:

NOTES: No, none of their other Naruto crossovers were published before this one. I also keep replacing Hoshiko for the real Harry.

Dear god, how the hell is this Hoshiko actually Harry Potter!Collapse )

3509: Darkest Magicks The Beginning - FrenendoGosson
Pancake!
pottersues
Don't forget about the Thirteenth Annual Pottersue Fanfic Contestt. You've got until January 31 to get your entries in.
- The link of the day is events that.... It's a nice comic...
- Flashback Sue

D is for... dark fic!

TITLE: Darkest Magicks The Beginning
PERPETRATOR: FrenendoGosson
SUE-O-METER: Awful...
COVER/BANNER ART:
SUMMARY:”The consequences of surviving the killing Killing curse straight to the head is upon him, Harry is changed psycologicly, magically and even physically on his 17th birthday, his adulthood. What changes are going through him, more importantly, what the hell is he? DARK!Harry, Slash, Deceptive Dumbles, WICCAN OC, Darkfic! #HarryIsHot”
FULL NAME: Harry Potter
SPECIES: I think the tags they gave sufice.
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Obviously the writer planned on tossing out canon to make a dark fic. There is honestly nothing wrong with writing darkfics, but the point isn't to add in a bunch of dark elements just to make it dark.
ORIGIN: I'm not sure. The writer really didn't get far enough.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: What do you expect from a Dark harry

NOTES: Nothing really beyond the fact this is one you know is headed a certain way, but never got to the juicy bits.

SAMPLE: None, the story never got far enough along to get a good example, and is just a rewrite of Lily and James' deaths.

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