TITLE: Opium
PERPETRATOR: Psyholls00
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Kitty
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: red
EYES: "shimmering emerald eyes". The Weasleys say she has blue eyes.
MARKINGS: "her skin as pale as the moon itself"
POSSESSIONS: a white robe, "A pink flowered sweater, blue jeans and black slip on shoes",

ORIGIN: Lucius Malfoy killed her family when she was five. Her parents had "defied" Voldemort, and Kitty had a "talent" that he was interested in. Lucius did not get to kidnap her because she the Order showed up "just in time". Kitty gets shipped off to an orphanage for the next six years.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Draco shows up at her orphanage in the middle of the night and strikes up a conversation with her. Then they send letters, and he meets her at night, again. Did I mention that they are eleven? Draco brings her to his house for a visit, where an in character Lucius catches on that she is the missing child from 6 years earlier. He plots to have her come back to kidnap her, and then the Weasley's show up at the orphanage to adopt her. She tells Draco that if she gets adopted they can't be friends.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Draco likes her hair.

NOTES: Narcissa Malfoy does not have the skunk inspired hair that the movie gave her. Thank you.

( Why aren't you in bed Draco? )

TITLE: The Lost Black
PERPETRATOR: 0_o_Lena_o_0
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Mysteria "Ria" Black
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: "long and black"
EYES: "bright blue"
MARKINGS: "a little tan", "The black haired girl kept her bangs on her forehead, as if they were hiding something.", burns and probably the Dark Mark on her right shoulder.
POSSESSIONS: " a pair of black jeans and a red and black striped shirt", "red sleeping pants, with a black shirt", "mary janes".

ORIGIN: Voldemort is defeated, and the only casualties for the Order were Moody and Kingsley "no one anyone really cared for". Getting rid of Voldemort opens the door to not have any real plot happen in this story. She was born in England but the United States. She does not know much about her family history.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Hermione, Ron and Harry meet her on the Hogwarts Express. The automatically identify her as an "American" when they hear her say "No go ahead". She is sorted into Gryffindor. Draco and Harry both show interest in her.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A ~mysterious~ accident that only McGonagall and Snape know about. I bet she is actually Harry's sister.

NOTES: The Suethor alerts us to her reasoning for this story: "I know Sirius didn't have a daughter, and once again, please don't say it in the reviews. It's a fanfic, so I have the right to make up characters. Also, this is alittle AU. Saying that, Draco will not be related to the Blacks any way. Or else that would be kind of gross"

You certainly have the right to Mary-Sue daughters of canon characters and change canon so she can boink whoever you want her to and it won't be incest, but it doesn't mean that reviewers can not say jack-shit about it. Fan fiction doesn't give you carte blanche to do whatever you want and negate any criticism. It doesn't work that way.

( There are more ways to describe a person than just 'black haired girl' and 'blue eyed girl' )

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: My Life as the Girl Who Lived
PERPETRATOR: Emerald Malfoy
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Hail Potter
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: "same as Lily Potter"
EYES:"same as James Potter"
MARKINGS: "tear or rain drop shaped scar on my forehead"
POSSESSIONS: Harry and Voldemort don't have twin wands. She has one too. It's "a oak with phinoex feather". A super-dreamy boyfriend.

ORIGIN: Harry's younger sister. She is in sixth year, and he is in seventh. No one knows that she is his sister. She lives with her godmother Sapphire.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is in Slytherin. She has a big reveal to the Order. She is glorious and knows everything.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She is good at "dark arts, history of magic, and in potions". She is a "true seer". She produced a "Protronous" on the first try. She is a "pysulmouth". She knows all about the Deathly Hallows.

NOTES: OMG this is the best Sue ever. I am so amused!

( My jaw dropped with amazement! )

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: The Curse~~A Draco Malfoy Romance
PERPETRATOR: TamurilArnatuile
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Nani Aliikai
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a flower to show that she has a boyfriend if it's on her left side, and to show that she is single if it's on her right. Then a letter from the boyfriend saying that he's found someone else

ORIGIN: "Nani Aliikai has just moved from Hawaii. She'll be in her 5th year at Hogwarts. Meanwhile, Draco has been testing out the Malfoy Curse. (Sorry if it sounds like someone else's story. I spring boarded off someone. My version of the Malfoy Curse is a Malfoy can get any woman to do whatever he wants, but his one true love will be immune to his charm. And I guess you can figure where this is going.) "
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Draco thinks she could be more than his "groupie". She is sorted into Gryffindor. She is immediately friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione. Hermione wants her to teach her some hula moves. Draco keeps trying to ask her out and she rejects him each time. Then he starts acting nice to her, and she gets dumped by her boyfriend. Then she think's Draco's not such a bad guy after all.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: " to surf, scuba-dive, and...oh yea, hula dance".

NOTES: How is this not a rebound?

( You are not Draco Malfoy )

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Teacher's Pet
PERPETRATOR: Maria Lynette
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Maria "Nettie" Young
SPECIES: muggle
HAIR: a long braid
EYES: Bright and blue. They are "mesmerizing"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: A daughter in highschool, a tight set of tailored robes, high-heeled boots and a sexy American accent.

ORIGIN: "Maria had used her Montgomery G. I. Bill to take sailing lessons after separating from the army years ago, and sailing quickly rivaled writing as her favorite hobby. When she had grown tired of teaching English to undergraduates overseas, she had purchased her own boat and spent most of the year in Boracay." She gets to teach muggle studies at Hogwarts as they try to make wizarding culture more tolerant of muggles.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is banging Scorpius Malfoy. Was asked to teach Muggle Studies by Arthur Weasley.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is not affected by magic.

NOTES: Although she has her own daughter in highschool, (and the father isn't mentioned as to my knowledge - I skimmed the ending, as I couldn't finish it without hemorrhaging), she takes it upon herself to be paired with a sixth year Scorpius Malfoy... No, I'm not kidding. It then proceeds to go through the year, where there's a meeting with her muggle friend named Angelique - who is in love with Lucius Malfoy and blah, blah, blah. The only canon character in here is Draco Malfoy - who tries to kill the Sue for being a "Muggle whore."

( This is amazingly wrong. )

Thanks to the anonymous minion who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Padfoot's Pride (The Story of Sirius Black's Daughter)
PERPETRATOR: yodudette
BANNER: Creepy Sirius is Creepy
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Carter Artemis Black aka you
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: "Long Curly Black hair"
EYES: "Deep Brown Eyes"
MARKINGS: "Slim figure with curves in all the right places. Looks around 16 [but is 13]. Very developed for her age, Gorgeous. Basically a female Sirius."
POSSESSIONS: clothes that are not described in any way. See "Notes" for explanation

ORIGIN: Sirius and Esmerelda had Carter, then Esmerelda went and married Remus, and they have a son together. She is the same age as Harry. No one knows, yet, that she is Sirius' daughter.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She helps out Remus during the full moon like her father did. I don't know how much use a 13 year-old is going to be against an adult werewolf. That is not the least of this stories' logic issues, though. She is best friends with the Trio and will be paired with Harry. She is a third-year Gryffindor.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "You aren’t an ordinary witch, your known as a Beta. Your the last of your kind. A Beta is a witch that is born an anigmas, can do wand less magic and read other people’s mind. As the Beta magic is so rare many people are after her magic (cough Voldemort cough) so a person close to the Beta becomes the protector. The protector can talk to the Beta through their mind no matter the distance and can feel the Beta’s emotions. Carter’s Protector is Sirius." Her name in animagus form is "Paws". That is much better than the usual: Moonshadow, Vixen, Glitter Star, etc. She is a "prankster", as well.

NOTES: It appears that the Suethor's image codes for the Sue's clothing does work. This means we have blank spaces and no words describing what she is wearing. Nice! This is why you use words to describe things in stories, and not just pictures.

( I think it would be weird to have your dad in your head. Wouldn't you think so too? )

TITLE: Chronicles of Fate
PERPETRATOR: SiriuslyLoveSnuffles
SUE-O-METER: (okay)

FULL NAME: Evangeline "Eve" Tonks
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: light brown
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: small due do being born prematurely.
POSSESSIONS: a wand

ORIGIN: The Tonks' youngest daughter. She is the same age as Harry & Co.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She is in Hufflepuff, and is friends with many of the Hufflepuffs that we know. She is sent to live with Tonks at Grimmauld Place during fifth year. She is going to be paired with Harry.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She could sense that something bad was going to happen at the Triwizard Tournament.

NOTES: This one is just a quiet little Sue, no crazy powers, but a Sue nonetheless. I've seen a few Tonks-sister-Sues around lately. It's very strange. I guess even Sues have trends.

( I wonder if you are going to give your sister some profound love advice. )

Thanks to madeelly who sent in this Sue!

TITLE: Abandon
PERPETRATOR: kiskax
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Echo Desiree
SPECIES: witch
HAIR: "straight dark auburn hair"
EYES: "the green of her eyes hugged the hazel centres"
MARKINGS: a navel piercing.
POSSESSIONS: an accent, it is a Big Deal. Clothes: "a black leather corset over a fishnet shirt, blue jeans, and black boots", a leather coat, custom robes from Madam Malkin: "Box pleats instead of gathers, gimme a waltzin' length. I want a little ankle to show.” Echo winks at Madam Malkin. “Kind of tailored, three quarter length sleeves." in "Cranberry". She also has an apron in "every-white" with deep pockets. She has an "antique compact mirror".

ORIGIN: Georgia. She went to school at PolyTech Mastery of Magic. She is an apprentice, and is going to be a member of the Hogwarts staff as the Potions Teacher while Snape has a "sabbatical".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She shows up a Diagon Alley, and tells Snape off for being rude to a clerk in Flourish and Blotts. I've never seen this happen in real life. Have you? She doesn't know that he is the person she has to meet about preparing for Hogwarts. They meet again in the Leaky Cauldron, where we learn that he is begrudgingly attracted to her. Strangely, they talk in her room and then end up sleeping together all within the first day a Hogwarts. During this liaison, she loses her virginity to him, which she tells him about after.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She does not wear robes because they are not "flattering". Well, aprons aren't "flattering" but they keep you from getting messy. Snape tells her that she has to wear robes, and that's that. She is extremely talented at Potions.

NOTES: What is going on with this story? I am having a hard time following what is going on.

( Didn't you just meet? )

So, I saw New Moon today. It was better than Twilight, but still cheesy fun goodness. I know some of you are snobs about Twilight *wink*, but I just love cheese. You can't blame me! I do get a kick out of Mary-Sues.

So, in honour of the new film, here's a crazy crossover!


TITLE: Harry PotterTwilight mix
PERPETRATOR: Twilightcat14
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Cedric Diggory aka Edward Cullen
SPECIES: vampire/wizard
HAIR: not described. Topaz?
EYES: "dark crimson"
MARKINGS: "ghostly"
POSSESSIONS: a dark cloak.

ORIGIN: "This is the story about what should have happened to Cedric Diggory after he was sent with Harry by the Triwizard Cup to the graveyard! Enjoy!" He died and stayed dead?
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Wormtail "kills" him, but then he comes "back to life" help defeat Voldemort at the graveyard. Everyone from Twilight comes to help. Cedward is glorious. He reveals himself to everyone, confessing his true identity. Then he stays at Hogwarts as Harry's bodyguard, and after Dumbledore dies he becomes Headmaster of Hogwarts!
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Immortal, super-strength, sharp teeth.

NOTES:This is too funny! Maybe it's a troll, maybe it was honest, you can't really say with Twilight fans. ;)

( Headmaster Cullen? LMAO! )

TITLE: Slytherin Princess
PERPETRATOR: Vivian Cole
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Caroline Logan
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "long wavy hair, coloured a dark golden brown"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: "about 5’5, and had a thin, fit frame"
POSSESSIONS: nylons with seams and snakeskin heels.

ORIGIN: A transfer student to Hogwarts from Canada.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Is sorted into Slytherin. Will be paired with Draco.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She doesn't walk, she glides. All males are attracted to her.

NOTES: "This story is assuming that Voldemort never came rose back to power. It will be focussing on the characters and setting (ie. Hogwarts Hogsmede) of the Harry Potter universe. I will also likely make changes to facts in the story. For example give a character a different personality or add in a character that should not exist at the point in the story. Please do not hesitate to ask any questions and I will clear up any confusion in the following chapter."

Why not just write original fiction then?!

( Warning! Amazing Sue entrance ahead! )

TITLE: Falling Into The Abyss
PERPETRATOR: hally
SUE-O-METER: (awful)

FULL NAME: Hally Potter
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a necklace from Bellatrix: "a fine necklace, the chain was black, with a green orb attached invisibly to the chain", "looking really close i could see green and black swirls misting the orb". A short skirt that she wears when Draco tells her to.

ORIGIN: Harry's twin sister. She was retrieved from the house by Death Eaters instead of Hagrid. Bellatrix Lesstrange raised her, apparently. I don't know how this is possible, seeing as she was in Azkaban. At the age of 9 she is sent to live with the Mafoys when Bellatrix is finally arrested and sent to prison. The Malfoys treat her like crap.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Starts Hogwarts with her brother, Draco, Hermione and Ron. She is sorted into "Griffindore". After four years she is friends with everyone in the Order but is worried about the darkness inside of her. She has to go and stay with the Malfoys at this time, where she is paired with Draco. Plays Quidditch on the "Griffindor" team. She is a chaser.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: As a child she was taught advanced magic without the use of a wand.

NOTES: The sample features some horrible understanding about male attention. Just because a guy tells you to wear a short skirt, doesn't mean you should. Young girls shouldn't be fed this message that this is the kind of attention they should be striving for. *climbs off of soapbox*

( That's some bad prose hpff.com )

TITLE: Oh, boy!
PERPETRATOR: Wildflower
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Kana Fujiko aka Daisuke Hayate
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "shoulder-length black hair was now cropped and slightly ruffled"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: "You could still see me, as Kana, but my once delicate girly features are now, stronger more defined and boyish. My shoulders had broadened and my muscles grew."
POSSESSIONS: a "School Memories" photo album with "photos and Origami decorated the pages". Mmmm, pepper-jack cheese tastes so good. A Sue-friend named Beth.

ORIGIN: She is Japanese, so the story is littered with Japanese references. After drinking what she thinks is Felix Felicis, she is turned into a boy. Now that she's a boy Sirius Black is "giving her the eye". She likes this.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Wants to bone Sirius Black. Is a grandmother figure to Rose Weasley. She calls her "Obaasan". She was in Hufflepuff, and is a chaser on the Hufflepuff quidditch team.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Tries hard not to be a Sue: "I'm a little lazy, stubborn, sarcastic, unsmart, a little clumsy and I guess now, annoying".

NOTES: I don't find the writing bad or cheesy, just the idea.

( You have a magic stick! )

TITLE: Who knows..?
PERPETRATOR: Mrs_J_Potter
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Stephanie Leung
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: "medium-length black sleek hair, with crimson streaks all through"
EYES: "dark brown eyes"/"chocolate brown eyes"
MARKINGS: "Two ear piercings on each ear", "I’m tanned as I travel a lot to Australia and I’m always around my friends." Being around your friends makes you tanned?
POSSESSIONS: Sue-friends Sanice Embleton, Bella Jones, Cassandra Thompson. Brand-name crap: "Sanice accidentally turned our normal brown suitcases into Louis Vouitton ones. (And also accidentally turned our 1997 Honda Civic into a Lexus.)". She buys a "Firebolt 2000". She has an iPod that plays Stiff Dylans' "Ultraviolet". Her room looks "exactly like the one back home. My wardrobe with all my clothes for the four seasons neatly folded inside, every wall which is supposed to be showing a royal purple colour is covered in posters of Twilight, Gossip Girl, Jonas Brothers and many other Disney stars etc. There’s a piano in the corner with a CD player next to it also my study table with photos of my family and friends and then my bed." Her bathroom is "enormous, clean, white bathroom that had a beautiful deep and long bathtub, and a nice shower with these little fishies on the tiles, two basins, two mirrors and two toilets, and did I mention there was a Jacuzzi in here?" *face smash and rub against keyboard*

ORIGIN: They know about Hogwarts as a series of novels, like everyone else. Then she and her friends get their letters to Hogwarts and magical abilities late. Dumbledore makes an exception for them "because apparently we’re "in touch" with our magical abilities and we have different kinds of magic".
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Her friend has a vision that she is going to be co-Head Girl with Hermione, and Draco is going to be Head Boy. The three of them are going to live in a dorm together. Nice. She meets Draco is Diagon Alley, where she gets into an argument with him about his character while trying to purchase a new broom. At Hogwarts, Dumbledore explains to them that they are actually all descendants of Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw, and there has been a prophesy made about them. The four girls are going to "save us all". They are all sorted into Slytherin, except for Bella who is sorted into Gryffindor to be paired with Harry Potter.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: "rebellious". Plays the piano with her friends in their band called "On the Brinc".

NOTES: Remember how I said that the last Sue had a lot of pepper-jack cheese in it? This one is worse. Like I feel like I have to pay extra for it.

( Why do you have to write down your magical abilities? Are your memories that bad? )

TITLE: goddesses of the moon (harry potter story)
PERPETRATOR: somebodys15angel
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Serena McGonagall.
SPECIES: Goddess/Daughters of the moon.
HAIR: "short la-yered brown hair with blond streaks straight"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: a scar from where her abusive father hit her on the chin.
POSSESSIONS: "a red halter top and jean shorts". A sue-friend named Jimena a, who has a tattoo below her belly-button. A moon goddess amulet that emits energy whenever a "follower" (bad guy) is near.

ORIGIN: McGonagall's granddaughter. She comes from the States to help find Hermione and Kina the other moon goddesses. They were sent to protect the earth and have some bad guys called "Atrox" chasing after them.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Has some sort of grand mission regarding protecting the earth and fleeing danger. But really she is paired with Oliver Wood mostly. But it turns out that Oliver is actually the bad guy and this Stanton person is not-so-bad?
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She can read minds. Knows kung-fu.

NOTES: Glitter should never be used in this quantity: "She pulls a red satin halter out of her closet and a red skirt with gold pleads in it and she changes. She rubs gold and red glitter all over her arms and legs and chest and she puts some around her hair line and she puts gold eye shadow on and paints flames down her arms and legs and she puts gems a crossed her hair line and one on each corner of her eyes. She turns to see Kina in the doorway in a pink dress that ends just above her knees that has a bunch of layers on the bottom that comes to points in different shades of pink and purple she has pink and purple glitter all over her legs arms neck and a glitter star on her cheek and she painted vines down her arms and legs. They put their shoes on and walk out to see Hermione in a light blue satin tank top and skirt with darker blue on the bottom and a dark blue scarf tied around her neck with blue glitter all over her and some through her hair. She has blue and silver flames up her legs."

( I love how Oliver defines the Sue in his dialogue. )

Crap! I knew this name looked familiar. Oh well, look at it as a bonus!

TITLE: The Dark Princess (A Harry Potter Story)
PERPETRATOR: jigokuryuu
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Sage Riddle
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: blond, in "loose curls"
EYES: emerald green
MARKINGS: pale, the dark mark.
POSSESSIONS: "Clothes: Black, goth-style dress, black high-heeled boots. Wand: Dragon Heart-string. Holly. 13 inches." "an endless void trunk, which can fot as much as she wants without ever changing size", a "black gown that went down to the floor and put on the serpant necklace that her father had a death eater give her for her 16th birthday from him."

ORIGIN: Lord Voldemort and Lily Potter. "Sage was born as Harry Potter's twin, though James Potter is not her father. Nagini, Voldemort's prized snake embeded his DNA into an egg the night Lily got pregnant with Harry by biting her. Lily did not know it was his till the night the twins were born. She looked into her daughter's eyes and saw evil, and Voldemort. She told James about the snake bite and the darkness in the child's eyes and decided that they would raise the child for good, hopeing that her real father would never come searching for her." I wonder if an Angel would come to James in a dream and tell him to stick with Lily and Sage? Because that would be a hard story to believe. She is called the "Dark Princess" by Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Discovered at Godric's Hallow on Halloween, she is raised by the Malfoys as an "evil" witch. No one knew who she was, and she was not present at her father's resurrection. She wants to help Voldemort's cause, and will get to do so after she turns 17. She is overjoyed to destroy Harry, and has been spying on him to help her father. Draco watches out for her at Hogwarts, and they will be paired together.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: The "darkest" person in the Malfoy house. She dislikes light. The Slytherins bow to her when in her presence.

NOTES: I wonder if she is going to turn "good" when she learns that Harry is her brother? Probably.

( A 'bone-made' throne? Really? )

Let the OOCness continue!

Thanks to blazzano for sending in this Sue!

TITLE: Ginny Weasley: Supervixen
PERPETRATOR: thebartender713
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Ginny Weasley
SPECIES: Supervixen?
HAIR: red
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a "maple, with Dragon Heartstring as the core","Black knee high combat-like boots, a short black pleated skirt (for extreme freedom of movement), a black tank top and black outer robes", a second wand: "ebony with phoenix feather", and then Harry's wand.

ORIGIN: Harry is killed, Hermione refuses to fight because she'd rather be "a crooked politician", a pregnant Ginny goes in to take on Voldemort. The ceiling crashes in, he dies and she is in a coma for seven months. When she wakes up she takes charge of her care, and denies access to anyone who might be reporting to Hermione.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Hermione was going to use Exavier Potter as a tool to stay in government. So, Ginny had the baby in secret and then sent it away to India to live. Ginny pretended that a transfigured pillow was her stillborn son. Hermione doesn't believe her, of course. After she rehabilitates from her coma and pregnancy, she leaves to go find Voldemort. She wants him to be the "outlet for her rage".
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A "powerful" witch.

NOTES: Annnnddd I stopped reading when it got to the scene with Draco. I was just too squicked. The end.

( The Suethor and pstibbons should have a canon-sue showdown. )

TITLE: The Demon Lord
PERPETRATOR: Dark Dragen
SUE-O-METER: (toxic)

FULL NAME: Harry Potter, the Demon Lord. LMAO! I'm picturing skinny little Harry as a demon!
SPECIES: demon
HAIR: red
EYES: He doesn't need glasses anymore. "his eye although still green, had a hint of red in them"
MARKINGS: black wings, muscles, "his facial features were now more defined and better looking", his scar is gone.
POSSESSIONS: a "Power Ritual book" that he uses to unlock his demon powers.

ORIGIN: Typical "Woe" backstory complete with abusive uncle!
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Hates everyone. The pairing at ff.net says he'll be with Daphene Greengrass.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Super-hot. Can change how he looks and his gender at will.

NOTES: A penis that is "now thicker and about nine inches long". I'm imaging Genoa Salami size. He'll clearly need some sort of supportive device. A male must have written this story, hands and giant penis down.

( Funniest thing I have ever read. EVER. )

TITLE: Descent from the Heavens Here is the Rewrite.
PERPETRATOR: invisible-gurl
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Aisha
SPECIES: wind goddess
HAIR: "waist length wavy golden blond hair"
EYES: "clear emerald eyes"
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: nothing as of yet.

ORIGIN: Is being exiled from heaven, and wants to help the mortals.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Loves Remus Lupin. Dumbledore gets her to join the Order.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Immortal

NOTES: Sparklypoo! I love you!

( Please don't use emoticons in your prose )

Thanks to Abbydsnail for this Sue!

TITLE: Forced Life
PERPETRATOR: ShiroTears-and-KuroiRoses
SUE-O-METER: (bad)

FULL NAME: Sammy "Shiro"
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none described
POSSESSIONS: a screech owl named "Ash", "a pair of jeans and an oversized black T-shirt".

ORIGIN: Raises her younger brother, is the breadwinner in her family because her father is an alcoholic.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She tells the Marauders that she can't be in the group anymore, and then is saddened when she doesn't receive letters begging her to stay. But then they all show up at her door. She is going to be paired with Sirius.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: an animagus: "a great white wolf".

NOTES: This is pure wish-fullfilment.

( l. )

Link of the Day: It's time to Rock the Boat! The Dark Mark's NaNoShip challenge has been launched! It's a lot of fun! I challenge any minion to participate. When you do, send me the link and your validated story will be featured as "Link of the Day"!

TITLE: The Other One Who Lived
PERPETRATOR: Neville_Is_My_Hero
SUE-O-METER: (okay)

FULL NAME: Melinda Potter
SPECIES: Witch
HAIR: red?
EYES: "my father’s jet blue eye"
MARKINGS: "looks exactly" like Lily.
POSSESSIONS: a "seekoscope"

ORIGIN: She is Harry's younger twin sister. She was raised in Chicago by her "Aunt Rose and Uncle Ratclilff". She learns that Harry exists when she visits Godric's Hallow.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Spies the Weasleys about to enter The Leaky Cauldron. She is going to meet Harry, and she is going to be paired with Ron.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: A rebellious, curious nature.

NOTES: Why is she American? Was was it important to the plot? It's not. In seven books we only see American wizarding folk at the Quidditch World Cup.

( This is going to bode well. )